The Awkward Boy's Crush (BoyxBoy)

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Chapter 4

I decided to go home and freshen up before this extra class. I fell asleep in the first few extra classes and I stink too. So yeah. I’m sure the other guys did that as well. It was so hard to get my ass out of the house again. I hope they catch up with the course plan soon. I dressed myself in a comfortable ‘The Score’ T-shirt and jeans. I really like that band. It was almost evening, and I liked the walk to my class through the school field and garden. They have this vine arbour tunnel I loved to walk through. It has these pretty white flowers and lush green vines that make me feel like I’m not in school, which is one of the biggest reasons I like it. I take the second gate purposely for that.

“Let the rain fall down, let it fall to the ground, let the rain fall down to the ground... and the birds don’t sing, no they don’t make a sound when you’re six feet underground...” I sung along to ‘The dead can’t testify’, ’cause this song’s been stuck in my head for a few days already. “Well, they cast me out when the word sprea-”

“I like that song too, it’s cool.” Kairn suddenly cut in with his hands in his front jeans pocket. I felt my cheeks burn because I was probably singing like a crow.

“Hey Kairn. Yeah, I found this song randomly on Spotify, I think. And it’s stuck in my head since.” It came out a bit awkward and squeaky. I was ambushed, dammit.

He nodded, “I like his other songs too, you should listen to...”

I took in his appearance while he spoke. He rarely speaks much at a stretch. But we’ve made progress, I think. He uses longer sentences with me now, so yay. He wore a casual black shirt, and it looked good on him. His dishevelled hair made him look cooler. I guess he likes keeping his hair long, not long as in shoulder length or something. But long and tousled. Or he’s just lazy. And he likes to run his hand through his hair. He does that a lot. I wonder what running fingers through his hair would feel like. Bet it’s soft. Moving on.

Then I saw it, and before I could suppress the urge, my hands acted on their own. I couldn’t stop myself from straightening his left collar. I don’t know why I have this urge to straighten ties and collars when a see a crooked one. Shit. It is awkward now, isn’t it? Who the hell straightens someone’s collar randomly while they’re talking, we aren’t even that close. He looked at me with a stunned expression for a few seconds.

He turned away almost immediately. And before I could say something like ‘it’s just I had this urge to straighten your collar, it was distracting and I’m sorry’, I was stuck with “Um... I...” He blurts out, “I like The Score,” while pointing at my T-shirt. Maybe saying that would’ve been worse. Let’s just leave it. “Yeaaah... I love them. I like alternative rock a lot so I like them and there’re other lesser known one’s like The Unlikely Candidates, Sam Tinnesz, Missio-”

“Hey guys”. Felix joined us. Thank God. I wouldn’t have stopped because I was nervous about what happened before. “Ugh I’m gonna sleep as soon as I get home after this,” he continued. “Yeah, let’s just get this over with,” I agreed thanking him silently for saving me from boring Kairn. I can kill neurons sometimes with my idle talk.


The class was alright and although I was sleepy; I got down most of it in my notes. Now I’m lying down on my bed listening to music. (“And truth be told, I miss you ... and truth be told, I’m lying. When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell.“) It’s Saturday tomorrow and David’s birthday. The guys in the group chat were chatting away about the time and place and to not miss it, directed especially towards Kairn. I called Felix and ask what they were planning. (“When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell. When you find a...“)

“Hey Felix”

“Hey Marc, I was just gonna call you to talk about our plans.”

“Oh, cool.”

“So you know that all of us think you’re our really good friend already. You’re not the new guy anymore, you’re a part of us just as anyone else in the group.”

“Yeah thanks really, I never expected you guys to accept me so fast, we got a lot closer since the day I became friends with you guys.”

“Yeah so I wanted to tell you this, we’re gonna gift each of us photo frames with a bunch of frames for our birthdays, so he could frame all our memories. Since it’s the last school year and all.”

“Oh... that’s a wonderful idea, really. If you think I’ll feel bad, that’s not it at all, I’m thrilled you guys invited me and...”

“No, I mean, listen... among the memories, there has to be a group picture taken on the celebration day. There will be a frame, the biggest one in the middle, empty. I wanted to tell you we wanna include you because we already know you’re gonna stick to us heh heh.”

“What really? But...”

“Yeah, I know we’ve been friends for like a month, but it doesn’t mean we’re not close friends. We know a lot about each other already. And we’ll keep learning more stuff. All of us aren’t that tight knit with every one of us, but we know we’ll always be friends. You’re a part of the memories too. And I don’t see us drifting apart ’cause of a fight or anything anytime soon. I mean, if you die, we’ll mourn a lot.”

“Thanks a lot. I don’t know what to say. I never expected to have such good friends here. Thanks. I’ll totally watch over you guys if I die soon.”

“Yeah I know, I’m the most awesome one though. You have to say it to others. I wanted to tell you this so you know we won’t take the picture with you just because we invited you to the party.”

“Yeah, you’re awesome, I would totally say this in front of the others if you buy me pizza. I’ll say it even for a free slice.”

I heard some snickers on the other side.

“Should’ve recorded that. Well, see you tomorrow. Good night.”

“Yeah. Good night, cutie.”

“Ugh when will you guys stop it?”

“When you stop being Sodium cute.”


I ended the call and plopped down on the bed. I guess it’s gonna be fun tomorrow. My mind wandered to all the events that have transpired since I moved here and my new friends, that I’m already so close with.

I had a big smile on my face. I never thought I would have such pleasant group of friends. I had few friends at my old place, Julie, Max, Emmy and Books. We used to call him Books because his surname is Bookman and well... he does like books. He is the closest one to me. I call them sometimes too, it’s the same old same old there. My computer science teacher who hated me must be having the time of her life. Well, I’m just as relieved to not see your face too. You can stub your pinky toe at night while going to get water for all I care. Then hear jingles from your cat’s collar from the living room, but your cat was sleeping on the bed and you shut the door.

David and Duke are always fun to talk to. Ezra gets along with everybody. Honestly, it must be tough to be Ezra. Everybody loves him and he has to talk to everyone with that same enthusiasm. It must be exhausting. He loves it though. He really is the golden boy, after all. He still joins us most of the time. He likes to rile up Felix, his reactions really are cute. Duke is in on it sometimes too. But he defends Felix if it gets too much as well. Liam and Ryan are the easygoing guys of the group. Marvin and Lance are always entertaining to watch. Marvin knows just the buttons he needs to push to get his desired reaction. Though what Lance is gonna do is unpredictable, Marvin lives for it. And of course Kairn. I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately.

It seems like we’ve gotten closer. And from what I’ve seen, he doesn’t really like to talk by himself a lot. It’s usually the things he wants, no chitchat. Or if he’s asked to talk. He’s always listening though, and he smiles sometimes. I heard him chuckle a couple times too. He’s always there now. He doesn’t really say ‘No’ to anybody. He talks to others if they talk to him and will help as well. But people just can’t seem to figure him out. Well, that’s one of his charms.

The other day both of us were waiting for the rain to subside; we didn’t really talk, just watched the rain together. I mean, that’s what I think happened. It was kinda beautiful. He looked beautiful. The soft street light through the rain, reflecting his hair, made it glow softly. He was leaning on a pillar, looking ahead with his arms crossed, staring at nothing in particular.

I focused my senses back on the rain, the sound, the smell and the feeling. I really like the sound and smell of rain. I extended my arm to feel the rain; the drops kissing my skin gave a tingling feeling. I glanced at Kairn; he was facing me too. He looked away, but I wanted to keep my eyes on him. “Take a picture.” He said to me without facing me, his voice low and flat. Hmm, what a cliché line. I can do clichés too.

I smiled and said, “I like the rain better than a picture, every moment perfect, saved in my mind.”

Songs used :

- The Dead Can’t Testify by Billy Talent

- Gives You Hell by All American Rejects

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