Wishful Christmas

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"He is awake"

"About time"

I could hear voices in the distance. Trying to open my eyes and closing them as fast as I could. The lights were killing me.

How long have I been sleeping?

I tried remembering exactly what happened. As the memory came so did the pain in my heart. Alec.

I took my hand to hide my face. I should cry or feel sad. He was just a guy I met. Just another failed relationship, it shouldn't occupy my heart that much.

"How are you feeling?"

I opened my eyes slowly and the first person was Mathew. I remember him. He fucking drugged me. The hell is wrong with him?

"I know you hate me right now. But I love you" he said.

"Don't start with flirting, I am not Christopher," I said. Standing up and ready to punch him right on his face. But failing as my head got a little dizzy.

"Shit. The drug must be so strong to last till now".

"Yes it was strong" he answered with a smile on his face. God, I want to punish this guy so badly. " you look like you are killing me in your head over and over again."

"You have no idea" and sure he had none of what I am doing to him right now. He should be glad my brother loves him or we couldn't be here right now.

" I don't want to be a widower right now. Am too young for that" my brother spoke as he came to where I was seated.

Our fight came to mind. I was wrong and I took it on him. Am sorry. "Am sorry about last night" I said

His brow furrowed and then he came to normal. He was suspicious as hell

"What is going on?"

"You have been out for three days," he said, folding his arms together. That's not possible. Three days?

I look at Mathew who went to hide behind Chris" you drugged me for fucking three days?"

"Chris, would you tell him the truth before he eats me alive?" He complained and I turned my glance at my brother.

"What truth?"

"This," he said and gave me the mirror. I closed my eyes immediately so as not to see my face.

"Take that away"

"Do you trust me?" He asked. Do I? He betrayed me. Him and Matthew."


"Then open your eyes," he said and slowly I did what he asked of me.

In front of me was me. Not the Mei had been for the last three months? But I was from the very beginning.

My eyes widened as I kept turning and turning. The scar, it's all gone. Not even a single thread of it was left behind.

I closed my eyes again and opened them. It wasn't a dream. This was real and I was back to myself again. My fingers traced my face, to feel something, but I was smooth like a baby butt.

I snickered just by that thought.

I looked at Matthew then at my brother. He looked at me and smiled. Tears filled my vision.

"Do you like it?" He asked.

How can I not like it? He brought it to face back. Not more not less. Just perfect me. "I love it," I said.

"Then why don't you act like I?"

The tears fell once more. My face was back to normal but my heart...? My heart wasn't back to normal.

Alec loves ugly people, will he like me and how I look right now?

This...this is all I ever wanted since it happened. So why am I still hurting? Why do I feel like nothing has changed? Like I didn't take any step toward...

"He has been calling nonstop. He misses you" Chris said and a tear fell down my cheek once more.

"I can't see him now. Not the way I look at the moment". I laughed at my sentence. Once I was afraid of him seeing my scar, but now I am afraid of him seeing me this handsome.


My brother sat beside me, his hand touching my shoulder.

" let me ask you something," he said and I nodded " did you want surgery for him or anyone else"

"I..i" At first I wanted surgery for myself. But the more people bullied me, I wanted the surgery for them too.

"For myself" I answered. Even when no one saw my scar, I still wanted to have surgery. I wanted to look good and be normal.

"Then that's all that matters. Don't listen to what anyone is saying. And that's what I have been trying to teach you these past three months. People will judge you no matter what. Whether you do something or not, someone will find something in you to judge. So if you don't go easy on yourself, you will find that you are living for people. Trying to please everyone you meet. And that my brother is impossible"

His words sunk in really deep. All the more I understood him. But at the time, I was hurting. My mind wasn't thinking straight. I felt betrayed that he didn't care about my feelings at all.

I was wrong. He did care about me

"I want you to accept yourself and be happy. Ugly or handsome, the heart is what matters"

Days before I would think otherwise, that he is saying it because he looks good. Because he wasn't like me. But now? What can I say?

My brother is right. I shouldn't feel bad for wanting surgery, and if Alec still wants me, he will love me anyhow I look.



"Go to him, that boy loves you," Matthew said. "Even without us suggesting he go on a date with you, he was ready to take you to dinner as an apology. He is a nice guy"

I know. I know how kind and nice he is. And I loved him and his heart.

"Wait, I love him?"

"Is it a bad thing?" Chris asked.

"No, but it has just been a week with him, that’s not loving, is it?"

"I told your brother I loved him the first day we met"

"Because you are insane" I answered Mathew and we laughed.

Hell, I love alec.

"Are you still scared?" Chris asked. Yes, I was. Am not sure how he will take this? Take me. But I am willing to give it a try.

He is worth a try.

"This is your new phone, same number." Mathew gave me a new phone. I smiled thinking of how I threw mine away that night.

"You are healed but not so much. So be careful you don't get that area infected okay" he warned and I nodded.

"And you still have an interview tomorrow and some donations to make. Will you be able to?"

"Yes, I will" I have been doing this for years. I can't stop now.


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