Wishful Christmas

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Her shaking hand goes straight to the cooker, upset-minded. My blood freezes in my veins. I want to scream. To warn her, about the oil spilled all over the kitchen. But my voice doesn't work.

It will explode. It will explode.

Those words repeat in my mind like a chant. Getting louder and louder as her hand gets closer and closer to the switch. I cringe, standing up on my feet and running to her.

I hear the

Loudest blast.

It sounded like a bomb.

My head whiplashes and slams into something hard behind me and pain explodes through my body.

The world goes dark.

I wake up, gasping for air. I open my eyes, but I see nothing.

She is not here.

There is no boom.

There is no boom.

I am cold but sweating. My lips are trembling together with my chin. My ears ring, sounds are muffled and distant. Like a swarm of mosquitos in my brain. I see the room, the vintage white color.

I am in my bed.

At Christopher's house.

I'm home.

It's okay

I'm home.

It's just a dream again, just my conscious playing games with me. I lift my hand to feel my face. I stop midway and let it go.

Looking outside the window, capturing the morning view of the city. It is beautiful and glittering with holiday spirit. People passing by, some busy with their own business and some slowing down with smiles on their faces.

I want that.

To smile again.

A real smile and not feel self-conscious over how I look. But how can I do that? I am used to being handsome, rich, and successful. I am used to that life, but now I have to cope with this one.

Not for long. Just a week Miles.

Yeah, just another week of fake hopes and smiles. Can someone see how much I am hurting inside? How much all this is killing me slowly? For some, this would be a normal thing, but for me, this is death. I can't live forever with this scar on my face, no. I can't.

My brain took me back to the guy. Why Was he worried about me? Was it a guilty conscious of what his girlfriend had done? Yeah, that would make a lot of sense. For before that, nothing else makes sense.

Except for my heart craving him. I mean his voice. I have to admit it, it felt nice for someone else to worry about me. Apart from my brother. And that someone else to be that guy.

“He hasn't seen you yet” I reminded myself. Again.

Sighing, I walk back to the bed. It is another morning and a few days before my surgery. He promised me three days, today taken away makes them two. I can handle another two days. I will just have to stay here.

A vibrating sound took me out of my thoughts. I looked at where I left my phone charging last night. Sighing I walk and glance at it. I freeze. The same number as last night.

What the fuck does he want?

I want to be angry but I couldn't help the smallest happy feeling I got seeing his number pop up on my phone. Strange. I don't know why but I opened the message to see what he wanted to say.

: good morning miles, how are you this morning.?

“Why is he texting me” I whisper to myself as I keep looking at his number. It's when I saw all the messages he texted me last night. Asking me how I was doing? If I had a good sleep? if I was awake.

I found myself staring at the message longer than I should. Fidgeting if I should reply or not. I almost threw the phone down when it started to ring and looked at it. It was the same number again. I sighed and threw the phone on my bed and went into the bathroom. Letting it ring.

Twenty minutes later, we were sitting at the dining table as Chris readies breakfast. Mathew had no flying to do today so he was home and Chriss too. I watched as he completes something on his laptop and closes it, giving me glances with a smile on his face.

What the hell?

“ What is your one miracle you want this Christmas?”

Of all the things I thought he would say with that wide smile of his, that wasn't one of them. I cocked my head to the side and glared at him. As if he doesn't know what is nat the most.

“Except for your surgery,” he said. “ come on, play with me like old times” he pouted and I couldn't help but chuckle.

He truly deserves my brother.

I thought for a moment of what I would like as a miracle. Nothing came to mind. I am a person who has everything. Money, fame, success, girlfriend, and friends. Even when they still don't know about my condition right now.

I took a deep breath as I couldn't come up with anything that I want. I looked at stared at him, maybe if he says his, I would get a clue to what I want.

“What about you?” I asked.

He looked at his husband who was busy cooking and back at me. With a low voice he answered. “ a kid”. He smiled at himself and nodded. “I wish we had a kid of our own, '' he said.

I felt his pain, I felt his sincerity and need. This has been going for some time now. Mathew wants children and Chris knows that. But he keeps denying it saying they are busy and wouldn't take care of the kid properly.

I remember the last time the fight was huge that Mathew flew to Canada and stayed with me for a month. Just for the same matter. Why can't my brother see this?

Mathew cleared his voice and smiled, “ but I love your brother so much to wait until he is ready.” he said. “ I guess Santa has to go on without my wish this year too,” he smiled.

Mathew’s smile could light up a room. He was the most genuine person I ever met. He was real and honest. He always says his feelings out even when they are not reciprocated.

I guess that's why my brother fell for him too, four years ago. And even when Mathew’s parents denied their marriage. Mathew stood by Christopher and even took his name. Instead of Matthew Gregory, he was, and now Matthew Reynolds.

His family owns the airlines and he was a pilot. And my brother is a surgeon, their life is the busiest ever. I understand my brother’s fear. But still-

“I wish someone would love me with the way I look right now. Just anyone to accept me and not run away the moment they see me. I wish I could meet one person before I have my surgery." I said.

I breathed after saying that. Somehow Matthew got to me, his honesty got to my heart and brought my honesty out. I guess I want that. It's a silly wish right. One that I know would never come true.

But one wish I truly want it to come true, ‘i wish my brother and Matthew have the happy life they want. A baby and the careers they want’. I finished my prayer and smiled.

“ Thank you,” Mathew whispered and I flinched.

He smiled and I knew, I said my thoughts out loud. Again. I should stop doing that.

“I think you should go and meet that guy. There is nothing wrong in wanting to apologize,” he said.

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. Sweat started forming in my palms. I rubbed my hands together. The fear in me cripping out as I imagine what would happen if I met him.

“You don't know for sure what would happen unless you meet him. Let's test if Santa is real then. Go meet him and if he reacts badly? Then Santa ain't real” he said and winked at me.

I looked at him with a surprised glare on my face. He can't be serious. I am not a child to be seduced by candies. This is me and this is the real world. I chuckled again after seeing he was still staring at me with hopeful eyes.

“ what are you two whispering about,” Chris asked as he put waffles on my plate.

“Miles will be going on a date this afternoon. He was just asking what to wear ''Mathew replied and snapped his lips together.

What the hell? And he was smiling.

My brother’s look of surprise made me laugh. He couldn't believe I would accept and hell I didn't accept to meet him either. And a date? Who said that. He is going to apologize and probably asking me to drop the lawsuit issue.

“He is-”

“I think you should go, the driver will take you anywhere you want.” cross-cut me off mid-sentence.

“Or I would,” Mathew said happily.

I wanted to strangle him with my bare hands. I closed my eyes to forget all the nonsense they just spoke but when I opened my eyes, Chris was holding my phone in front of me with a smug on his face.

On the screen, the guy's number displayed clearly and I almost jumped to my feet. What was this stranger doing to me?

The executive lounge was almost empty when I walked in. I wanted it to be empty but Chris argued it wasn't a good idea. And the fact that I didn't want the guy to know my true identity then I should lay low.

I have been sitting here for about ten minutes already. No, he isn't late, I came early so I can take a good look at him when he walks in. I left everything at the reception and he will be directed to me straight away.

I took a sip of my wine as I looked at the view of the city. My meeting was on the top floor and the area was open and cozy at the same time. The city of Los Angeles could be seen clearly.

“Excuse me, sir, your guest is here,” a voice said and I didn’t turn around to see who it was. I know all my employees.

Yes, this is one of my hotels. Even when I didn't come as a CEO, I still came under the name Christopher Reynolds.

I nodded and the person sat down. And the first thing I inhaled was his sweet smell. Damn, he smells good.

I raised my eyes slowly from his hands which he held together nervously up to his chest. I stopped there as I scanned his broad wide chest. He must be working out or something to have that body of his.

I smirked at my judgment and I went up. My heart stopped when I met eyes with his lips. They were fuller and …? Oh god. He is nervous to be licking his lips all the time.

I wanted to raise my hand and rub some of the wetness with my fingers, but I stopped myself from scaring the poor guy away before he did what he called me here for.

My eyes finished him up. I met his eyes. He has the best eyes. Eyes that sparkle and gleam. He is fucking handsome. My fingers tightened on the glass I was holding and I swallowed the feeling that was stuck on my throat. Hot electricity occupied me everywhere. Shit.

I looked away from him for a moment and drank my wine. Until this time, no one said a single thing to each other.

Sighing I returned my eyes to him again, and my heart stopped. He had grey eyes. Strange but sexy. Tall. brunette, handsome with grey eyes and fuller lips? He is a dream come true kind of a guy.

He smiled nervously at me and I nodded. I smirked but he couldn't see it because my face was under a mask. And right then I was glad I had this mask on.

My eyes went straight to his wrist, the place he kept touching all the time since he got here. I figure it is his habit when he is nervous.

Shit. Why do I want to get to know you better?

My chest keeps getting lighter. My pulse racing. I am breathless. I drink my wine again as my mouth feels so dry.

Damn it. What the hell?

“ am sorry for disturbing you but I would like to apologize for what my girlfriend did to you. I am truly sorry” he said. His voice is low and apologetic.

I miss that voice and the moment he spoke, I wanted him to speak more. I want him to say more words, make jokes, and tell stories just so I could listen to him all day. His voice is nice and soothing. And if I could be more flirty, I would say he sounds as if he is horny all the time.

Or maybe I am.

But, why is he here alone and not with his girlfriend? She is the one who should apologize for not him. He did nothing wrong

I didn't want to think about the girl anymore. Him. he was the one I wanted from the moment he opened his mouth and spoke on the plane.

But this? This is just a one-time thing, after apologizing, you would never see him again... right?

He must have heard my thoughts or something because he was staring at me when our eyes met. Silently, mouth dry he examined me and my heart jumped. I knew he was looking at my scar and I embraced myself for him to stand up and leave.

But- there is something different about him and I am not sure what it is or if I want to know. . I have met a lot of people and this one? This one feels different.

And for the first time, with the few words he spoke up to this point, I want to steal him as mine.

He has a girlfriend. My inner conscience reminded me. I wanted to curse it and ask it to stay away for now. As I take in this handsome man into my brain.

He was wearing simple jeans and a neck black t-shirt with a brown leather coat. He looks simple yet sexy at the same time.

I kept studying him as he studied me-no, he wasn't studying me. He was devouring me with his eyes. Like he was a hungry wolf closing in on a kill.

Careful grey eyes, careful with those eyes of yours before they get you into trouble. I warned him inwardly. And to my surprise-

He swallowed.

Shit. this guy is going to be trouble.

“Alec” he whispered and I paused my movements. I Was pouring him a drink when he said that.

I raised my head and met him biting his lower lip again. One day I would punish him for biting his lip so much.

“My name is Alec,” he said again and oh my god I love his voice.

Alec. the name suits him perfectly. With those grey eyes that I came to love and his voice, Alec is very handsome and I wished my Christmas miracle would come true by him.

Whom am I kidding, the moment I remove this mask, he will look away and run for his life.

I nodded in response as I heard him. Why? Why couldn’t I speak in front of this man? Someone I haven't spoken a word to ever since I met this guy and yet I want to spend time listening to him speaks.

“Miles,” I said. Even though he knows my name already, Chris assured me that he just told him my first name and that I was his friend and didn't belong to Reynolds.

“I know,” he said in a low voice again.

I smiled.

Somehow that made me smile. Erasing all the memories of this morning.

I look at him as he nervously held the drink. He held it into his hand but hadn’t taken to his lips yet. Is he scared of me? But I covered my face everywhere.

Well, this is going to be a long night. But I don't mind, grey eyes...I mean Alec.


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