Next day… I woke up as I see Michael isn’t on my bed, I really don’t want to get up from my bed, I slowly feel depressed and unhappy…
I realize that Henry couldn’t hurt me anymore, because he died from killing himself, but I really couldn’t stop thinking about it over and over again, I had been crying on and off, I wanted to end my life… his suicide image was stuck in my mind, I was so angry and scared…
I do have a nightmare every fucking night and never stop, I didn’t tell Michael about it because I don’t want to worry him anymore than I already did.
I pull my blanket away from me as I get up from my bed and I walk toward my bathroom to take a nice shower, I turn my hot water on since I’m waiting for hot water to turn on.
I sigh deeply as I step into my shower and I let hot water go through my body and my hair, hell it feels so good.
45 minutes later… I just got out of my shower as I walk toward my bedroom and I decided to wear comfortable clothes, I just feel off today… I’m not really happy anymore. I sigh deeply as I close my eyes for a few seconds.
I walk out of my bedroom after I open my eyes and I walk toward their stairs as I walk down of the stairs and I walk toward their kitchen and I saw my sister and Damon are still cooking for breakfast. I see Sophia looks at me with a happy look.
“Morning Ana!” Sophia smiles big.
“Morning Sophia.” I smile weakly as I walk toward their dining room and sit down.
“Are you feeling okay?” Sophia raises her eyebrows in confusion.
“Since I have a day off today, you and I can do whatever you want to.” Sophia smiles as she walks toward their dining room and she sees I shake my head and she asks in a curious voice, “Why not?”
“I am not really comfortable with it.” I sigh deeply as I see Sophia nodded in understanding and I say, “I’m not hungry, I’m going to lay down in my room.” I get up from their dining chair and I walk away as I walk toward the stairs.
I really don’t want to hang out with Sophia, I’m not even ready for this, I’m just really scared.
I walk into my bedroom as I close my bedroom door, I walk toward my bed and sit down…
I guess I’m skipping breakfast… I lost my appetite…
I sigh deeply as I lay down on my bed after I grab my blanket to cover me because I’m really tired as hell.
I close my eyes as I fall asleep.
Later that night… I opened my eyes as I see my mom and Michael are talking on the couch, I spent a day sleeping, I am not really hungry at all… I slowly feel more depressed.
“Are you going to tell me why are you here?” I raise my eyebrows in confusion as I sit up from my bed and I see Michael and my mom looks at me with a worried look.
“Don’t mom… I haven’t spoken to you for a few years, why should I talk to you right now?” I raise my eyebrows in confusion as I see Michael sighs deeply and I say, “You told her…”
“Yes, I did because I’m really concerned about you.” Michael sighs deeply and he says, “You guys need to talk.”
I see Michael walks away from us as I sigh deeply and I ask in a curious voice, “How do you know I’m here?”
“Michael and Sophia told me.” Susan sighs deeply as she gets up from their couch and she walks toward my bed and she says, “I’m really worried about you.”
“How come?” I raise my eyebrows in confusion and I say, “I mean… I got kidnapped, raped, and abused by Henry…” I shrug and I say in a sarcastic voice, “I’m fantastic…”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” Susan sighs deeply and she says, “We do care about you, we love you so much and we want to make sure you’re okay!”
“I know that! I didn’t give Michael a hug or kiss, we didn’t have sex for a few weeks!” I sigh deeply and I say in a soft voice, “I pushed him away, I’m not sure if he wants me still… I mean…” I trail off as I look at my mom with a sad look and I say, “Henry really did damage me…”
“Yes, he did… he broke your heart, he hurt you so badly and he didn’t really care about you… he just only wants your body…” Susan sighs deeply and she says, “I love Michael like my son, he had been looking for you for days and he didn’t eat or sleep… he was in pain when he saw you… he was crying.”
“Really?” I’m surprised that Michael has been looking for me when Henry kidnapped me and kept me for 4 days…
“Yes… when you were in your hospital room with your doctors and nurses, Michael was crying and he was so angry at Henry for abusing and raping you…” Susan sighs deeply and she says, “You should’ve seen his face when he found you.”
I nodded as I sigh deeply and I ask in a curious voice, “How did you handle it?”
“I handled it very difficult…” Susan shakes her head and she says, “I was so angry at Henry for hurting you.”
I close my eyes to not break down in tears because I’m hurting a lot… I do understand my family, friends, and boyfriend feels this way…
“I’m sorry mom…” I shake my head and I say, “I just feel really depressed and do nothing.”
“Do you want to talk to a therapist?” Susan raises her eyebrows in confusion.
“I guess.” I sigh deeply and I say, “I mean… if I talk to my therapist, it will trigger me a lot.”
“Yeah, it will.” Susan looks at me with a sad look and she says, “Talk to your new therapist okay?”
My mom is right… I definitely need to talk to someone else… express my feelings out and hopefully my depression and mental will help me… all I can do is talk to a therapist and focus on me for a while…