Never Ago (Book 1)

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Before Dawn

Blurred vision. Numb fingertips. Bone chilling wind and hooting owls accompanied Ezra to the back of his parents' house. Every wobbly step threatened his stability.

I just want to see her. Fuck everything!

Ezra groaned as he crashed into the back fence. He knew their home had an alarm that would trigger if he broke in. The only chance he had was entering through his balcony window which had a lock.

Thank fuck they didn't take the key.

Slightly dizzy, Ezra tipped over the top of the iron fence and dropped face first into the moist grass on the other side. The lights were off but one would peer outside in the bright moonlight, they'd definitely see a shadow staggering on their back porch.

I'm coming my not-so-blushing-anymore Lillian.

The tipsy Alpha managed to latch himself onto the water pipe rooting from the rooftop and ending in the earth. His trembling lungs did him no good.

Just one tiny little glimse...

He had no idea where she'd be, though. Probably the guest room which means he'd have to travel downstairs once he made it to his room. That is, if he did.

Every failed attempt at climbing proved to be futile. The pipe was slippery and his vision was even more slippery. Desperation gripped at his heart, driving him up the wall. Literally.

Halfway through, his foot missed it's target and his heart stopped at his weight dropped like a sack of potatoes with a loud thud.


The light in his room switched on. The pain shooting up his arm momentarily distracted him. He clutched his dislocated shoulder shakily and gazed up at his balcony door. A curious little eye peeked at his hunched up frame from behind one of the curtains.

She's in my room? She's in my room... Our room.

He liked the sound of it and he cherished the thought of her tiny little body curled up on his bed. She owned it just as much as she owned him.

"Hi..." He rasped into thin air, a grimace of a smile on his face which vanished when she tugged on the curtain and disappeared, blinding the light in his room.


The roaring beats of his treacherous heart in his chest pulled at the corners of his lips. Her tactics were adorable. Fuck, he'd never felt those cheesy feelings before.

He sprawled on the grass and reached out with the uninjured hand and found a twig. Aiming it at his balcony's door, he flicked his wrist sending it off to thud against the glass. After a few expectant moments when nothing happened, his hand sought out more ammunition. Twig after twig and tiny pebbles knocked at the door, demanding the attention of the princess inside.

His hand frozed when a distant click was heard. Wincing, he got up to his feet and tried to gain his footing. A cheeky smile adorned his face which dulled when he saw the fury spark in Lily's eyes.

"You don't know how to stay away, do you?" She seethed quietly.

His Alpha hearing, on top of being greedy for her voice, had no trouble picking it up. "Ask me anything but that. I promise I'll give it to you. I can't breathe without being around you. It's like I have asthma."

Lily slowly and deliberately narrowed her eyes.

Ezra stumbled before he shook his head. "Can you come down please? Pretty please? Ugly please? Pathetic please? Desperate plea–"

"Why?" A single word, whisked away by the wind yet it carried all her resentment.

His cheeks puffed out. "Because... I need a hug. And I want it from you."

"Go hug your Madaline."

Ezra frowned absently, his mind hazy. "She kissed me but it didn't work."

Lily bit on her lip, hard. "Too bad."

"I know, right?" Ezra chuckled lowly. "I'm bad."

Lily stared at him, her conflict eating her up. She wanted to see him miserable, in pain, lost and lonely like she was. Yet, seeing him distressed hurt her more. She angrily rubbed her chest.

"Are you coming?"

"No." She threw, aggregated.

"But... But... I came for you."

"I don't remember asking you."

"That's because"–Ezra hiccuped–"you never ask. Even if you want to. You'll never say it."

Lily stilled for a split second. She was the kind of person who wanted to be there for everyone but when the roles were reversed, she had a hard time asking for help. Him, knowing that, licked at her privacy.

"Go away."

He plopped on his butt and innocently stared up at her illuminated figure filling his balcony.

"Why won't you come to me? I know you want to."

"There's nothing left. Don't you get it? You hurt me. I don't want to do the same to you. You're pushing me to be the bad person. Please, stop. It's better if you forget and move on."

His brows drew closer, his eyes solemn and his heart throbbing, Ezra spilled his somber plea. "You don't get it either, Lillian... I will remain hopeful as long as I can breathe. I will remain hopeful that the outcome of our past will stop jeopardizing our future. A silly beautiful woman once told me I shattered her dreams but she doesn't know that a shattered dream can still be achieved. I'm just waiting for her to hand all her pain over to me, so I can fix our problems."

Her breath got caught in her throa. His fingers curled forcefully. It was unfair how he was becoming her tormentor and the fruit of salvation altogether. Or was it all in her head? A game of her wolf. She couldn't be that woman who'd walk over her dignity. It was just not her. Never.

Without uttering a single word, she stepped back and went inside with a heavy heart.

My life before him was a journey. Now, it's nothing but pain and conflict and dying hopes.

Ezra couldn't move a muscle. He heard the door close, he knew he should have left. However, his mind and heart were fixated on his Lillian. He couldn't figure it out for the life of him how it was possible for him to win her back without hurting her. Everything he said or did seemed to irritate her further.

"I'll have the cake delivered by the time the party starts. You better get to the spa if you don't want to get late to your own house. It's today, remember?" Lily adjusted her handbag and flipped through her diary.

Stacy squeezed her hand firmly and gave her a warm smile. "I know, I know. I thought I should drop by and remind you I can never fully express my appreciation for what you did for me, for Kyne... for my baby."

Lily stood up from the table and hugged Stacy. "Don't stress it. I'm glad you listened to your heart. Look how happy you are. I can't wait to see you become an excellent mother."

Stacy grabbed her cup of coffee and walked out. Lily picked up her diary and threw a comprehensive look at the crew repairing the windows of her cafe.

I'm sorry we can't go back. It's Alpha's orders, we'll lose our job. It will be quick, miss. Bear with us for a few moments.

Lily pursed her lips, forehead creased. That man, or boy considering his actions, had no sense of decency or an ounce of self respect. How many times would she have to turn him down?

"Where do I put this, Miss Lily?"

Lily turned to address Sabrina. She was a short tanned and chubby girl with long dirty blond hair and the warmest gray eyes Lily had ever seen. She hired him that morning.

She was holding up a set of china cups, her eyes timid and posture tense.

"It's just Lily, Sabrina. And put them in the kitchen. Thank you."

Lily had sensed Sabrina had insecurities regarding her weight and it didn't sit well with her. That useless thought had no right to be in a sweet soul's life. If anything, it made her look cute. Fluffy.

Shaking her head, Lily pulled up her hair in a bun and assisted Sabrina in setting up the kitchen before she started baking her chocolate cake. It took roughly about 5 hours to put it together and load it into Kandra's pickup truck. Sabrina refused going to the party with Lily.

Dave welcomed Lily at the gate with their hired staff and went through the preparations of the night.

The house looked magnificent with fairy lights, Arabic lamps, beautiful flowers and so much more. Stacy was over the moon, her face flushed and eyes glowing. The party organizer had set up a small board with the x-rays of their baby and covered it with a curtain as a surprise.

Soon, the house was bustling, music blasting and beverages served. Dave insisted Lily dance with him which she politely refused and watched amused as his innocent flirting got him in trouble.

For a moment, she had forgotten about her own problems. It was just a normal party. She was wearing a peach colored floral skirt and a sleeveless white top. Even Sam looked carefree, away from his burdens.

"Hola, baby..." A hot breath slid over her neck, tingling her spine.

The scent was enough identity of the man whose heat made goosebumps rise on her naked arms.

"Missed me? I did. Lots."

Lily resisted the urge to shove him away. The effect of his presence messed her up inside out. She didn't need that right now.

"No. People miss people of significance."

A hitch, she heard. It satisfied her sadistic instincts.

"Well," He played it cool. "At least, now you know you're significant to me."

"How adequate..." Lily drawled, refusing to move from her place.

After a sizzling pause, his heavy voice trickled over strings of her body. "You look sexy."

Sexy. The word was cliche yet his tone made it exotic.

Lily gulped, her eyes on the dance floor. "Of course. That's all you see in women."

A sigh it was but the breath mixed with his musky scent fluttered her heart. It was frustrating.

"You like poisoning everything I say, don't you?" She could imagine him shaking his head. "Such bitterness."

"Can you blame me?"

"Unfortunately, no."

His rough cold hand hooked his fingers in her hair and brushed it back from her face. "I deserve every hateful word you throw at me as long as it doesn't make you feel guilty."

Her cheek sparked under his touch, pulse racing. Where was he getting this from? Of course she felt guilty. Not that she was wrong but because a part of her foolishly cared for him.

Ezra cautiously stepped round, right in front of her and rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "Can we start over?"

Lily's vengeful eyes thundered and struck him motionless in his place. "Don't you ever utter that nonsense ever again. We'll never be friends. I'm sure you have lots of those already. Now, if you'll excuse me. I have a dance partner waiting for me.

Lily tipped her chin and sauntered over to Dave who happily pulled her to the dance floor.

Ezra crushed the glass in his hands, shattering it like how he wanted to do to that fool's head as his eyes flashed. His blood dried and wolf crouched restlessly.
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