One day after school, I went to my room to do my homework. When I was done I decided to grab a little snack before dinner was ready. It was then that I saw them.
Finn was sitting on the couch with a girl by his side kissing him. I ran upstairs as fast as I came and forgot I was hungry.
While I sat on the end of my bed to cry my heart out, my brother must have seen me because it didn't take him long to get into my room.
"Jamie, I know it will be hard for you to hear this, but you should forget about him. He'll never see you that way."
"I know this already Will, but I can't help the way I feel about him."
When Will was sitting next to me, I hugged my brother and started to cry more. Even though we are 4 years apart he has always been there for me and I am grateful to have a wonderful brother like him.
"Hey, Will, you in here?" Finn suddenly knocked on my door.
He hadn't waited for my brother to answer him and had decided to come in. I stiffen in my brother's arms. It was the first time that Finn had been in my room.
What will he think of me now?
I have soft toys on my bed and pink walls. He will only see me as a child now. I thought in the back of my head.
No! no! no! I'll tell mom I need to make some changes here.
"What the fuck man? You don't barge in my sister's room like that!"
"Sorry man, I didn't do it on purpose. I wanted you to know Kristen is here. Jem, are you okay?" He asked me when he saw me cry in my brother's arms. Since I knew him he always called me Jem instead of Jamie and I still don't know why.
As I quickly wiped away my tears, Will got up from my bed to get out of my room. I mustered all my courage to stand in front of Finn.
"Don't worry about me, nothing I can't handle," I answered his question.
He put his two hands on each of my shoulders. "That's s my Jem. Nothing can stop her." He then leaned over to let a kiss on my head.
Did he say his Jem? Oh my god, oh my god. My heart stopped beating by his gesture. I can't even move. I am too amazed right now.
"Finn, leave her alone already. Come on man our girls are waiting for us."
But what just happened? Was this real or was it all a dream?
I went to my bedroom window to look at Finn who was holding the hand of the girl I saw him with earlier as he helped her get in his truck.
At that moment, I dreamed that I was in her shoes and that it was my hand he was holding to help me get into his truck.
"Jamie, I know it will be hard for you to hear this, but you should forget about him. He'll never see you that way." My brother's voice invaded my mind as I kept watching them.
Then all my thoughts stopped as I saw the girl in question looking at me. I quickly closed the curtains and stepped away from my window. Whilst praying she won't tell me.
I went out of my room and started to run down the stairs. I was looking for my parents.
"Mom, Dad, where are you guys?"
"In the living room honey." I heard my father answer me.
"Umm, guys I made a decision. It's time for me to grow up. I want to rearrange my room. It's time to take me more seriously. I'm even ready to work around the house to pay for everything. Please, please, please I need it so badly."
"Hold on, honey, not so fast. Why suddenly the change of mind?" My father was the one to ask me.
"I'm growing up and I want an older room for me."
"Tell you what, your father and I will talk about it and let you know our answer. Now go set the table we're going to eat soon."
I was about to say more when my dad stopped me. “It's not a no, but your mother and I will make this decision together. Now go and do what your mother asked you to."
Am I crazy to love someone that I know will never share the same feeling for me? Wouldn't life be easier if we could find someone to share this with?
Stop thinking about this Jamie it will give you a headache.
"Hey Miss Harrison, do you mind if I eat here tonight." Suddenly I heard Finn talking to my mom.
Wait, is this a dream?
"Of course you are always welcome here. But weren't you guys out and where is Will? Is he with you?" My mother asked in her turn.
Nope, not a dream. I said to myself when I heard my mother answer him.
Okay, breathe nice and easy. You can handle this.
"Something came up for me and Nathalie. Will is still on his date with Kristen." He answered my mother's question as he sat next to me.
Wait, is he sitting next to me? Okay, okay, don't panic, now is not the time to make a fool of yourself. Try to be as normal as possible.
Yeah, easier said than done!
At the end of dinner, I helped my mom wash the dishes before settling into the leaving room to watch a movie.
"So tell me, what are we watching tonight?" Finn asked me as he sat next to me.
"Umm, I was catching up on the last season of Supergirl." I managed to tell him.
"So no romantic movie for you?"
"Nope, not tonight."
Is he really going to sit beside me until my brother gets back? Do wishes really come true?
Then I heard his cell phone ring. "Hey, baby." He answered.
"No, nothing important why?"
"Your parents are gone for the night. Yeah, I'll be there. See you in a bit baby."
I may be 12 years old but I know what he meant by that. My heart broke once again.
"Shit, sorry Jem I didn't mean for you to hear this. Raincheck for the movie?"
"Uhm, okay, see ya later then." I'm proud of myself to be able to make a whole sentence despite the situation.
I'm surprised when he leaves a kiss on my cheek before he leaves.
Now I have mixed feelings and I don't know how to handle them. First of all, he's going to spend his night with her and I know exactly what they are thinking and secondly, he just left a kiss on my cheek as my heart skips a beat.
I know I need to forget about him but my heart doesn't seem to get the memo.