“Why can I bring you back from whatever happens to you?” He questioned.
My eyes went wide and I froze. Does he not know what a mate bond does?! I’m so confused. Maybe I should reveal myself, just take my necklace off and let him sense me.
′Not yet. Find out what he was talking to Lucas about.′ Aurora suggested. That is a good idea, not one I was expecting, especially from my wolf who was ready to give Rhydian the benefit of the doubt.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I replied nonchalantly, with my eyes fixed on the wall opposite us.
“No one else could get through to you.” He exclaimed. “What happens to you? Why do you go all... dark?” He faltered.
I sighed and reluctantly rested my head against his chest. I felt him stiffen but quickly relax. “Didn’t my dad tell you?” I whispered. I thought he would have done, especially when he gave the Alpha position to him.
“No. All your dad said was you were different.” He explained, “But that could have meant anything.”
“I don’t trust you,” I responded wearily. He tightened his arm around my stomach and took a deep breath.
“You have no reason not to trust me.” He protested. I laughed, dryly.
“Well, that’s definitely debatable,” I grumbled. I tried pulling myself away from him, but he wouldn’t budge his arm. “Look, I’ll stay here. Just get your hands off me.” I snarled. He immediately let me go and quivered slightly. I sat up, twisting around and facing him. He jumped at my sudden movement, fear spread across his face.
“You’re scared of me?” I choked. As much as I don’t like what he’s maybe doing, I don’t want anyone to be scared of me.
He shook his head, slowly. “No, I’m not scared of you but of what you became.” He confessed. I bowed my head down, ashamed and sniffled.
My dad taught me to never be ashamed of my dark wolf, that it was an honour. I don’t see it as an honour, it’s a burden. I can’t control myself. I lash out and I don’t remember anything. He used to say... “Amaris, everyone has a dark side. How we expose it, distinguishes us.” I don’t expose it, I keep it hidden.
Rhydian edged forward and I held my hand up in defence, stopping him. I glanced at him, “I don’t trust you so I can’t tell you.” I said, sighing. He nodded and I let out a breath I was holding in, he wasn’t going to push for answers and I was glad.
“When you lose control, why does it happen?” He questioned, cautiously.
“It’s tied to my emotions,” I replied, softly.
“I need to tell you something.” He said, cautiously. I looked at him and nodded.
“I wasn’t the only one there when you lost control. There was a few of us.” He started, then took a deep breath. I watched him as he struggled to say what he needed to. “Lucas, Tristan, Ria and Drew tried calming you down, they couldn’t. Lucas called for me.” He sighed heavily.
“He didn’t tell me what he needed me for. I was on my way back from the pack morning hunt, I sent Ezra instead until I could get there. Elijah went too.” He explained.
I rolled my eyes and sighed. “Get to the point.” I groaned. I just wanted to get out of here and it’s like he was stalling me leaving.
“I’m getting there, ok?” He snapped. “No one could calm you. Hell, no one could get close to you.” He exasperated. “Tristan went too close to you and you lashed out.” He whispered. My hands flew to my mouth as I gasped. “Tristan managed to move out of the way in time...” He hesitated, “Elijah didn’t.”
I staggered backwards using my hands and feet. Tears filling my eyes, “No, no, no, no. Not again” I whimpered. “He’s alive, barely.” He muttered, then widened his eyes at me, “What do you mean, not again?” He shrieked. I started shaking and the tears were slipping uncontrollably. “Stay away, I don’t want to hurt you.” I gasped.
Rhydian shook his head and in one swift movement, he was kneeled in front of me, cradling my head. “Come on, you can control this.” He urged. I thrashed my arms at him, trying to push him away. “You... Need.. To... Leave... Now...” I stammered. My hands shook, pain coursing up and down as my claws extended.
“Come on, Amaris. You can do this.” He shouted, still holding onto my face. I dug my claws into his arms, trying to get him off me. He growled at me, lunging himself forward, toppling us both over. He was hovering over me, pinning my hands above my head so I was unable to attack him.
“I know you’re still in there. You can control this.” He pleaded with me. I growled and snapped at him but he didn’t move. I could see the fear etched in his eyes but he didn’t give up. He lowered his body flush against mine slowly, I gaped at him. That was all it took to bring me back.
My breathing returned to as normal as it could, my claws descended back into my hands and I screwed my eyes shut trying to focus on anything to get my mind from the fact that Rhydian was on top of me and I could feel everything.
“Now will you tell me why I can bring you back?” He smirked at me, hovering over me. I pushed him off of me and sat up. “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “I need to see Lucas,” I said, panicking.
He’s going to hate me.
Fuck, I hate myself.
I hate my Dark Wolf.
“Not yet. We don’t want you losing control in the hospital.” He sighed. I stood up and folded my arms across my chest and pouted like a pup. “I’m going whether you agree or not.” I scolded. I turned and scanned my surroundings. I was in what looked like a basement or a dungeon, there was nothing in here. There was a door on the right side of the room, I headed towards it with Rhydian following suit.
I stepped into a hallway and glanced around. I was in my house, I looked at Rhydian in confusion. “Why is there a dungeon in my house?” I deadpanned, folding my arms over my chest. “It’s a basement?” He replied, questioning. I rolled my arms and heading to the front door.
“Amaris, you may want to get dressed.” Rhydian pointed out. I glanced down and sighed before running up the stairs. I went into my bedroom and pulled on the first thing I saw, a pair of shorts, a tank top finished with my trainers. I headed back downstairs, Rhydian was stood at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me. I headed towards the front door.
I swung the door open and stepped outside. I took a deep breath, held my head back and let the sun warm my face. I took off in the direction of the pack hospital, Rhydian still following me. “Are you going to follow me all the way there?” I asked, still walking. Rhydian jogged up to me and fell in step with me, “Yes.” He replied.
Secretly, I was glad he was coming, not that I would tell him that. He is the only one that can stop me from losing control.
Either he’s a really good liar, or he is my true mate. I guess time will tell.