I paused in front of the hospital and took a deep breath. I really need to go in there and find out how Elijah is and apologise for hurting him. I hung my head down and let a stray tear fall. I don’t know how I’m going to do this without losing it.
Staying calm helps keep everything at bay, but I’m not going to be able to stay calm with this guilt eating at me. I have never been able to control my emotions.
′Use Rhydian as an anchor.′ Aurora whispered.
′An anchor?′ I puzzled.
′Use the mate bond to your advantage. Fake or not.′ She stated.
I sighed, knowing she was right. I glanced up at Rhydian, who was stood beside me, eyeing me intensely. His lips turned up into a small smile. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Come on, Amaris. This is the only way you’re going to be able to go in there.
I opened my eyes, slowly. He was watching me, staring. “I need you to do me a favour.” I groaned. He raised a brow at me, waiting for me to continue. “Look, I’m not sure why you calm me but I need you to do it now for me.” I pleaded.
He looked at me confused before asking, “How?”
I trailed my eyes down his body, stopping at his hands. I slowly interlinked our fingers, I sucked a breath in as bond worked in effect. He knitted his brows in confusion at me, he definitely caught that. “No matter what happens, please don’t let go,” I begged. He squeezed my hand once and we headed into the hospital.
We stopped at some lifts, I glanced up at him. “Do you know where they are?” I questioned, quietly. His eyes fogged over and I knew he was mind linking someone. He nodded and pressed the button for the lift. We waited for a couple of minutes, I started chewing on the inside of my cheek. I was nervous, I didn’t know how everyone was going to react.
The doors dinged open and we waited for everyone to leave before we entered. Rhydian pressed the floor we needed and stepped back, next to me. I was breathing heavily, my heart was thumping in my chest and I was nervous. He began brushing his fingers over my knuckles, I peered down and took a deep breath.
“Sorry.” He awkwardly said. I shook my head and smiled up at him, “No, it works. It calms me.” I replied.
The lift doors dinged open. Tristan and Georgie were leaning against a wall, waiting for us. They both had red puffy faces like they’d been crying. I gripped Rhydian's hand, hard and began shaking. He started brushing his fingers against my knuckles and led us out of the lift.
They both looked at us and sighed heavily before coming over to us. We stopped in front of them, I hung my head down and fought against the tears that were threatening to spill. No one uttered a word, I didn’t dare look at them. I didn’t want to see the disappointment on their faces.
Tristan grabbed my arms, breaking me from Rhydian and brought me against his chest, wrapping his arms tightly around my back. It was like the flood gates opened, the tears were falling and I was sobbing. “Hush, it wasn’t your fault.” He soothed.
I tried speaking but no words came out. I couldn’t breathe, the anger I felt for myself and the guilt of hurting someone was too much. I focused all my energy on Rhydian, I needed to mindlink him.
"I need you."
I heard Rhydian gasp and if I weren’t in this situation, I’d have probably laughed. Rhydian pulled me away from Tristan and into his arms. I fisted my hands into his shirt and nuzzled my face against his chest. My breathing calmed and I was beginning to feel relief.
Aurora was right, using him for this is pretty good. I just wish he was my true mate.
′He could be.′ Aurora chimed. ′You haven’t taken anything from anyone since we arrived.′
I can’t think about this now. I need to see Lucas. Tristan cleared his throat, I took a deep breath before turning and facing them. Rhydian hooked his arms around my stomach and held me against his chest. Tristan and Georgie eyed each other suspiously, then looked at us.
“Is there something you want to tell us?” He quizzed, looking puzzled. I shook my head, “No. Rhydian keeps the darkness at bay. I don’t know why but right now, it’s what I need.” I whispered.
Tristan nodded then glanced at Georgie. “How is Elijah?” I asked nervously, fiddling with my fingers. Tristan took a deep breath and shook his head, “I don’t think it’s a good idea you being here right now.” He whispered. My breath caught in my throat and I choked.
Rhydian removed his arms from around my stomach, linking our fingers together. The contact soothed me and I inhaled taking as much air as I could. “Lucas doesn’t want me here, does he?” I guessed... it was obvious. I hurt his mate, that’s unforgivable.
Georgie shook her head and stepped towards me, she placed one hand on my cheek. I leaned into her and sniffled. She caught a tear that had fallen and smiled sadly at me. “It’s not that... You can’t control...” She hesitated, “You can’t control your emotions, Amaris.”
“I know, I normally can’t. But with Rhydian, I can. He brings me back before I lose control.” I croaked. Rhydian started grazing his fingers against my hands, soothingly.
“It’s true. She nearly lost control when I told her about Elijah but I stopped her.” He admitted.
Georgie sighed in defeat. She turned to look at Tristan, “We should let her try.” She breathed. She turned back to us, “We were only thinking of you, sweetheart.” She muttered. I nodded my head and gave her a half-hearted smile.
Tristan and Georgie led the way to Elijah’s room. When we reached the room, Lucas was sat on the floor against the wall with his head in his hands. Ezra was pacing back and forth. As if sensing us, Ezra came to halt and Lucas looked up at us. I wanted the ground to swallow me up, they both looked terrified.
Just how bad did I hurt him? I shuddered slightly and Rhydian wrapped his arm securely around my shoulder, bringing me into his side. Lucas stood up, slowly not taking his eyes off me. Ezra stalked towards me with a scowl on his face.
Rhydian reacted and pulled me behind him, keeping his hands on me for contact. He stiffened when he realised what he did but stood in front of me, protectively.
“Get her out of here, now!” Ezra bellowed.
“Ezra, that’s enough. She feels bad enough without you making it worse.” He divulged.
“She nearly killed my brother.” He growled. “I don’t know what the fuck you are but you need to leave.” He snarled. I winced and pulled away from Rhydian’s hold and darted for the exit.