NOT IN THE LAND OF MAKE-BELIEVE
Follows “Fresh starts” but can be read alone
“I didn’t come here expecting to find my someone declaring themselves to be my soulmate, my forever after. I didn’t come here expecting to have a life-altering experience, to be forced into a choice that would affect everyone I loves’ lives – because it will.”
**this story contains scenes of explicit language and sex including MxMxF**
COLTON, NOT IN THE LAND OF MAKE-BELIEVE
She’s a wolf! Not only is she a wolf but I’m her chosen mate, supposedly – no pressure! What the hell am I supposed to do with that?! Oh Christ, what a fucking nightmare this trip has turned into! I should have left when my brothers did instead of agreeing to stick around longer to learn more about shifters – God help me, and to get to know Emily better.
I don’t want a commitment!
The only reason I’m here in the first damn place is because Mom got remarried, and even that took me long enough to wrap my head around. Honestly, it took a verbal ass-kicking by Dad to straighten me and my brothers out – he and Mom are ‘happily’ divorced and never getting back together again, period. If she wants to remarry, we should be thrilled for her and support her, that’s all there was to it – and he was right.
She’s our Mom.
She’s never let us down before, not once and the one time she needed us to step up, we were throwing tantrums like toddlers. None of us behaved well and looking back, I’m mortified. I hope that when enough time passes, we’ll be able to look back on this visit and laugh – you know, in like a hundred years. Mom married Calvin after Tanner, Lucas and I walked her down the aisle and she is head-over-heels in love with the guy, like he is crazy for her. They act like lovesick teenagers all of the time and it is so fucking gross – that’s my Mom dude! Keep your hands to yourself or at least wait until I’ve left the room!
Thinking of my Mom as an, ugh, sexual being hasn’t been fun.
But dealing with Mom’s new man wasn’t enough – oh no, I had to cope with a beautiful woman proclaiming her undying love for me at the same time! Well, not really her undying love but the beautiful part is right. Emily is… stunning – and a shifter, she has the ability to turn into a wolf.
Yeah, I heard it.
When she first told me, of course I didn’t believe her – who would? When she showed me and introduced me to Daisy for the first time, that was harder to deny. It took me two days before I would even sit down with her and let her explain to me what mates even are – the whole thing had me so freaked out. Now that I understand everything, I feel even worst.
A Goddess deciding who I’ll spend my life with? Uh, no, I don’t think so.
I’m a grown-ass man and I’ll make my own decisions, thank you very much. If I decide to move forward with any kind of relationship with Emily, it will be my decision – and her’s of course, but no one else’s. Definitely not some random Goddess I never heard of until a few days ago! What a bunch of malarkey. There is so much for me to take into consideration too – and I’ve been thinking about it. A lot. Em has been great, giving me the space I need yet answering any questions when I have them. Calvin, my new stepdad is also a great resource. Mom nearly worships the ground he walks on and I’m starting to see why – he’s a great guy and treats her like a queen, which I like. Mom is his second-chance mate – he lost his first wife to cancer a couple of years ago and him being ‘blessed’ twice by the Goddess is apparently a big deal. I think he should be grateful to be blessed with my Mom – period, Goddess or not. Thankfully, he agrees but shockingly, she feels the same way about him. They’re crazy for one another!
I want that.
Em is offering that but it means moving here – she needs to live in a place her she-wolf can run loose and free, not in the city in a small apartment like I currently am. I have my Business Degree but I’d have to give up my job there and I don’t know what I’d find here locally – how would I support my family? I refuse to live on pack charity and while I know it is my own stubborn pride, I also refuse to go back to something like washing dishes or cooking the meals – I did that to put myself through school and I’m not doing it again. Mom and Dad helped as much as they could but with three of us there was only so much money to go around. We all had to work to help so I did – I worked hard to get my degree so I would never have to do those types of jobs again, so I don’t know that I could give it all up and not resent my life at some point down the road. I’m humble enough to realize that I’m also a big enough asshole to recognize that is a very real possibility.
If I resent my life it will mean resenting Emily.
So I’d have to give up my home and my career. I’d also be giving up my circle of friends – probably completely since I can’t tell them about her being a shifter, so we’ll never be as close ever again… if I ever see them again.
She’s asking me to give up a lot.
She’s asking me to give up fucking everything.
In exchange for… what? Her. Her, Daisy and their love. A family of our own, children- uh, pups someday, and in time a love like my Mom and Calvin share, I hope. From what I understand, between her and Daisy, her feelings are already pretty hard-core for me. This is too bad and unfair for her because as the human in this relationship – I can walk away easily and pain-free. Well, maybe not easily but it wouldn’t hurt me like it would her – they really do get the shit end of the deal.
Or maybe not… the constant look of joy on Calvin’s face is kind of hard to ignore. Emily says for a shifter, there is nothing more rewarding then finding and completing a mate bond. It is supposed to be better than any normal orgasm, deeper than the Grand Canyon and higher than the stratosphere – it is the be all, end all for love and sex. When she said that and I realized how happy Calvin looks all of the damn time I nearly puked, but I got her point. If that is what it will feel like for her, then they get an extreme high or an extreme low from this mate bond – just depends which way it goes. Emily is hoping for the best from me… but I don’t know!
I even have to consider my family, as messed up as that is. Emily is my stepsister! We don’t share blood and are only ‘related’ because her Dad and my Mom are now married but it is because our parents are married that this relationship between her and I has the potential for catastrophe. Actually, it does either way, regardless of what I decide. If I say no right from the start, Christmas gatherings are going to suck ass in the future – what do you give to the woman whose heart you broke? ‘Sorry I shit all over you and our bond, here’s a sweater’ – yeah, that sounds great.
If I say yes and things go to shit – that will be even worst, especially if it happens after we’ve had sex. How do we have family Christmas after that?! ‘Sorry you’re a nasty turd, here’s a sweater I dragged behind the car on my way here’ – yeah, that sounds even worst.
But if it goes well… then none of my bullshit matters because everyone will be happy. Well, the naysayers won’t – boy will we give them fodder for their gossip. I can hear the brother marrying his sister jokes already, and I know they’re not all going to be in fun either. Ignorance is a miserable weapon and the most common one around but Emily reassures me that within her world, no one will care.
Shit… I guess we’ll see.