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Walking down a high school’s hallway is a nightmare. Everyone tends to stare at you in the most common emotions from your everyday typical teenagers: disgust, pity, or hate, which is something that I have grown to hate over the past years.
Yes, I admit I’m not the prettiest, and I would consider myself bigger than most girls, but I can’t help that. I try to be at a healthy weight but it’s hard with the way my mom acts.
A question I can’t seem to understand is why does everyone have something against me? Why can’t they just leave me alone? Why couldn’t they go along on their boring day and just learn for once. Could there just be one day, one day where there wasn’t drama at an expense for someone else’s pain?
Is it that hard for someone to just turn around and mind their own goddamn business and stop sticking their noses where it’s unwanted? Can’t people take a freaking hint? Well apparently, no they can’t. I’ve never done anything to them, but like they always say, I’m just a waste of space. I just simply come to school and do as we’re supposed to: learn; there is no other reason for school. Well except to make friends. Have you ever realized that our parents tell us to make friends, and not to talk to strangers. So how the hell are we supposed to make friends?
See nothing makes sense. So I don’t understand why people think they have everything figured out, they think their life is perfect just because their parents are well off.
Well newsflash people; no one’s perfect.
Everyone has something wrong in their lives. Even those who seem like they’re perfect on the outside. Yes, that includes the rich and popular. You know, those people who think they’re so high and mighty and treat others like shit? Even if they don’t say anything, they stare at you with their beady little judgy eyes. Why can’t they hate them or better yet, not hate at all? It’s so simple but yet so hard.
I sigh and continue to slowly make my way towards my locker, turning the dial and putting the combination in. I take out the books I need and stuff them into my backpack. I should really get to reorganizing my locker…
Eh, that’s too much work.
Turning around, I see Chance; the school’s most ‘hot and popular guy’. Yet he really wasn’t, sure he’s attractive, but more in a handsome and rugged way. Not necessarily ‘hot’ per se. Sure he’s popular but he’s also kind of an outsider. He barely ever hangs out with his group of friends outside of school; quite odd if you ask me.
He’s standing with his regular group of friends. Alec the school’s playboy, Lance the school’s sweetheart, Skylar the school’s athlete, Noah the school’s golden boy and of course Chance is the school’s supposed bad boy. He’s definitely not a bad boy; does always going to class and getting good grades suffice as bad boy material? I think not. He also tends to play some pranks on students and teachers, but it looks to be forced just to keep up with his title. But I don’t care, he can do whatever he wants. I just watch.
Lance and Noah are cute with their boyish looks and charm while the rest are manly and devilishly sexy. But none of them can be compared to Chance, for he’s definitely the best looking.
No one has had a chance with him though, since he won’t go out with anyone. He claims his heart has already been taken. Sigh, cute.
I wonder who this mystery girl is, I guess I’ll find out when he wants the whole school to find out. It is his business. Sometimes though, the romance of the school catches my interest and I can’t help but want to know.
I feel sad for whoever it is and wish them the best, they truly need it. Chance keeps up this whole facade as to who he really is, the real him? Well I really don’t want to find out.
Sighing, I begin walking towards the library, not wanting to get into anyone’s way.
I turn around the corner and see I’m almost there, that is until someone comes running full speed and bumps into me.
The air gets blown out of me and I land on my stomach, which cushions me from my fall.
I hear laughs and a loud groan emits from somewhere near me, I flip over slowly and see everyone pointing at me, their hands over their mouths; laughing. I hold back an eyeroll and bite my lip nervously. I hate attention, almost as much as I hate their words.
“Look, she fell and her fat cushioned her fall.”
“Did you see her ass? It’s so fat and huge, it’s such a turn off.”
My eyes skim over the growing crowd, I see their mouths moving but it sounds like they’re all saying the same thing at the same time; you’re a waste of space. My face turns bright red and I get up, pulling down my shirt and pulling up my jeans.
I run; well try to run away, leaving my bag on the ground, not caring about it.
Knowing that I can’t leave school, otherwise my parents will ground me, I head to my original destination; the library.
Not without catching Chance’s eyes though. His eyes held pity, guilt, and pain. The three things I hate the most. I don’t need anybody’s pity, if you want to do something then just leave me the hell alone.
If anyone is seen talking to me, unless they’re laughing or saying something nasty, their social level goes down the drain. They become an outcast, like me. No one notices you unless you mess up, unlike me. I’m a ‘popular outcast’, everyone notices me all the time.
I wish they didn’t.
Being an outsider has it’s few perks, no one flaunted over you or hovered over your every move. No one cares about your gossip or tries to be you because you’re the new hit thing. I mean when I see someone wearing something cute and I like it of course I want to find out where they got it from. What can I say, I love clothes, not as much as I love food.
Once I get inside, I head to the side reserved for classic books and pick out a random one, letting the reading take me away. It’s my stress reliever, my paradise, my drug.
I look at the cover and laugh lightly. The book I took out is Swan Lake by Mark Helprin. My all time favorite book.
Yes, I share the name with the main character and no, that’s not the reason this is one of my favorites. It’s because ballet intrigues me.
The way the music sends you on an epic swirl of breathtaking beauty, the dancers move so elegantly, it always steals my breath and captures my heart. The story behind each ballet is amazing; it always makes me cry.
Each year, I always go see The Nutcracker and Swan Lake, they’re both magnificent and beautiful pieces of art.
I’d always wanted to take ballet, but me being overweight got in the way along with my mother thinking I should do something better with my life.My mom used to share the same love for ballet with me, her favorite was also Swan Lake, thus she named me Odette.
My mom wanted me to take up ballet and even encouraged me to do it.
But then she and my dad divorced, causing her to stop going to ballets and ending her love for it. That’s where she and dad met, at the ballet Swan Lake, to be precise.
Ever since the divorce, mom’s been busier and she designs more clothes. She brings home models who call me names but she doesn’t do anything. She’s a bystander to my bullying. My own mother.
I always lock myself in my room. Of course, I still love my mother. She did give birth to me. It’s just that she lives my life for me.
She wants me to be a model for her clothing line, claiming it’s the best for me.
I hate modeling and regardless she says I have to lose several pounds. She cannot have any fat teens as model or no one would buy her clothes. In other words I’m a disappointment to her career; a waste of space. When she said that, I locked myself in my room for weeks, only coming out for school and food; making sure my mom wasn’t home. I would cry myself to sleep every night. Someone from school telling me that? I could handle. My mother? Not very much.
Am I so fat that my own mom thinks I’m worthless?
I open the old book and sigh, resting my head on the shelf behind me. I turn to page one and begin reading. A ghost of a smile appears on my lips as I take in the first act, the book taking me away.
A little while later my eyes become cross eyed from reading for so long, they start to flutter shut against my will and I let out a small yawn. I snuggle into deeper into the corner, the book falls out of hands and my body slowly falls unconscious.
“Odette, Odette, wake up!” I’m shaken awake violently and someone is quietly shouting in my ear. I jolt up, alarmed by the yelling.
My eyes meeting the dull grey eyes of the librarian. “It’s time for drama sweetie.” She says, immediately brightening my mood. It may not seem like it, but drama is my favorite class.
I quickly get up and put Swan Lake back in it’s place on the shelf hoping that nobody will check out the book. Oh, who am I kidding, of course nobody will.
I thank her and rush out the library, slapping my forehead, silently scolding myself for leaving my bag in the middle of the hallway. I let out a few curses under my breath for sleeping throughout most of my free blocks.
I head to the deserted hall but I can’t find it, looks like someone took it. Sighing I regret not picking it up. Maybe someone put in the lost and found. I’ll stop by later and check. I jog over to the theater.
Fortunately I don’t need anything important in my bag for drama. I walk in and see that the teacher isn’t here yet thankfully. I sit down in my assigned seat and feel like somebody’s watching me.
What’s wrong with this guy? I mean, seriously, he’s been staring at me all day long. Is he like a rapist or a serial killer? Am I his next victim?
Is that why he hasn’t been dating? And he’s been saying that he has his eyes on someone else. Is that someone me? I laugh, how could I even think that.
He probably feels sorry for me; most people do. I feel sorry for me too. I turn back around and ignore his eyes on my back. I fidget under his intense gaze for a second, tapping on my lap. Then, when I reach the point to where it’s weird and uncomfortable, I turn back and glare at him. He averts his eyes and I nod in approval.
Mrs. Cooper walks in looking excited, which makes me excited. She starts talking and I instantly perk up.
“Okay guys, some of you might have heard that the students are picking out the play this year; and that is indeed true.”
Instantly I hear squeals from girls yelling out Romeo and Juliet. I sigh. That’s always the play in every single book and besides, we did that play last year.
“Now quiet, kids. There are a few guidelines. It must be a classic play, and it cannot, I repeat cannot be Romeo and Juliet.”
Disappointed teenagers protest and groan while I squeal in my head and thank her silently, knowing most people would pick the infamous Romeo and Juliet. I hate it. We’ve already studied it in middle school. Can’t they leave the two star-crossed lovers alone for once?
Someone starts passing out scrap paper, ordered by the student teacher, and I take one quickly, wanting to be the first.
“Okay, write your play on this piece of paper and those will be the nominations. On the announcements today, you will hear me call out the top three and you will vote which one you want to act out!.” Mrs. Cooper exclaims.
“Good luck and may the best play win.” She cheers, clapping her hands together, giddy with excitement. I write out Swan Lake in cursive, I really need for this play to win, even though I won’t be one of the main actors, I still want this play to be portrayed.
I feel someone looking over my shoulder and looking at my paper, but I don’t cover it up. That’s ok, they can look. They probably don’t know any classics and the more people who put this down, the better the chance there will be for Swan Lake being in the top three.
I stand up and fold the paper in half, walking over to Mrs. Cooper who has a canvas bag in her hands. I drop it in with a pep in my step. She smiles at me once I do and sends me quick wink.
After everyone put their piece of paper in the bag, we watch the play Romeo and Juliet. Mrs. Cooper you have disappointed me. Though it wasn’t her who decided we should watch it, it was the student teacher and the class being a majority of girls happily obliged. Sighing, I watch it not even paying attention, knowing the plot by heart.
One agonizing hour later, the bell finally rang, signaling it’s time for lunch. I go to gather my stuff, but realize that it’s not there. I forgot how stupid I was and I left it in a hall letting students take it.
Sighing, which is something I do a lot, I wait for everyone to leave and walk toward the lunch room. I see my friends sitting at a booth and walk over there. These friends are my fellow outcasts.
I sit down and smile wearily at everyone. They shoot me an encouraging smile and we start a conversation immediately.
Again, I catch Chance’s eyes and see him looking at me worriedly. He looks at me at then at the café.
All my friends know why I don’t eat lunch. I haven’t been eating it since last year and each time, Chance gives me worryingly looks. I ignore them, of course. It’s not his problem nor his business.
I feel honored knowing that he thinks about my well being, but to get skinny I’ve just been skipping a meal a day and it’s only lunch. Besides, the food here is super greasy and gross, not very healthy in my opinion.
Once lunch is over, I go to Science and then English, not planning on skipping any more classes for the rest of the day.
It’s finally Math, the last class of the day and we’re currently reviewing algebra problems, which is my worst subject ever.
“Okay class, can anybody tell me the value of X.” Asks Mr. Roberts. No one raises their hand except Kiana; she’s a math whiz.
Every time she tries to explain to me what’s going on she makes it sound so simple but in reality it’s confusing as heck.
“Not just Kiana knows the answer.” He says sighing. His eyes roam around the room and I gulp, he’ll pick his victim.
His eyes land on me. Uh-oh. “Ah Odette, why don’t you tell me the answer?” He smiles, his small, evil, beady eyes glinting. I curse him to hell for picking me, geez man just tell us the answer, were in class to learn. I’m not gonna learn unless you tell me.
I don’t even know what the problem was, I open my mouth to shout out a random number, when the bell rings signaling the end of the day.
I’m saved by the bell, literally.
We don’t move because the announcements come on immediately.
I close my mouth and fidget in my seat, ready for the announcements to start. We’re finally going to figure the top three plays for drama, I just really hope that Swan Lake is one.
I blank out on the unimportant stuff and start getting impatient. Tapping my fingers against the desk, I frown when someone tells me shut up. Sighing, I oblige and crack my knuckles instead.
The announcements are almost ending, did they not have enough time to count all the papers?
Just as I was about to give up hope, Mrs. Copper starts speaking.
“The three nominees for Drama this year are; The Nutcracker, A Midsummer’s Night Dream, and Swan Lake!” She says excitedly.
I squeal, happy that Swan Lake was in the top three, A Midsummer’s Night Dream was one of my favorites too, but we all know which one I’m picking out.
“Okay guys, before you leave write which play you’d like the drama team to act and hand it to me once you leave.” Mr. Roberts says, clearing his throat slightly.
I take out my bag, which I mysteriously found in sitting in my locker and rip a piece of paper from my notes. I’m grateful to whoever left it in my locker and decided against putting rotten eggs inside. I scrunch my nose at the thought. Thank you very much random person.
I write my obvious pick, silently watching as he walks to the door, albeit taking his sweet time. I lick my lips lightly, letting a little moisture heal the cracked parts. I relish in the silence around me, leaving the low buzz of my classmate’s dim in the background and my thoughts take over. I chew on the inside of cheek, wanting the damn bell to ring already. Someone turns to look at me, the just stare, I offer a timid smile in return. They roll their eyes and turn back around.
I frown and sigh softly. I hate people.
The bell finally rings allowing us to leave this hell, I shove my slip of paper in Mr. Roberts hands and glare at him.
He huffs and rolls his eyes, smiling as the next student hands him a scrap of paper. I smile, giddy once I’m out the doors. I have a feeling Swan Lake is going to win.
Marijana1: The melancholy present throughout this story has the power to influence and etch into the minds of the readers, to stay there and refuse to leave even after they have finished reading the story. This is a deep, powerful story, making the readers wonder about everything – about love, about their e...
Giuliana Cassetta: My face is full of tears, I never cried like now with a book or even a movie. I loved every single chapter. I truly don't know what to say, I'm out of words and my eyes hurt from crying. Such an bittersweet story, it's so wonderful. One of my favorites for sure. Keep it up!
Flik: Hi! ^.^ huge fan of yours on ff.net! When I saw the note about this contest on The Way We Smile, I couldn't help but rush over here, create an account, and vote! XD Seriously love this story and would recommend it to anyone! :D best FT fanfiction out there. Amazing story, amazing concept that wa...
OpheliaJones: This story took a different kind of spin on the "normal girl lives with definitely not normal guy" plot. The plot points of Frey's father, Liam's family, and Frey's view of Liam's world were good to read. She did not fall in love with him in the first couple weeks. Their lives were not smooth in ...
maewilde25: I am so in love with this story!!! captivated me till the very end, there wasn't a dull moment. Didn't particularly enjoy the lay out and some bits of info was missing along with how a 21 year old man amassed so much wealth that needed to be explained other than that and a few spelling errors, th...
brettylee: The narrative is slick yet punchy. Life, Family and Friends I believe is the core message so it’s easy to relate to. It’s surprisingly action packed. The author does a good job at keeping you guessing. Just when you think all is right, whack, the unexpected happens. The dialogue is energetic and ...
SandraHan1: This story is very descriptive, with vivid scenes from the very beginning, which made for a good scene setting. I love the symbolism in names, such as “Naysayers”, “Hadd”, etc . The story itself is revolutionary, intriguing, emotional and exciting. I was very pleased to see that there is a happy ...
ynez2005: I LOVE THIS BOOK SOOOOO MUCH!!!!Though you really need to make another book,more Princesses!!! Whoooo!!!Girl Power!!!Mabey it could even be Devona's BFF???That would make it even better!!!Plus can you pleeease make Akki come back,together with Thea and Authur amd the whole family is back!Other th...
263Adder: Okay so I adore this story. I only knocked one star off plot for historical inaccuracies because I'm a bit of a stickler for that. The ending broke my heart though, considering you already changed history couldn't you (SPOILER) change it a bit more and have them together!!!! I want an alternative...
Alex Rushmer: Chapter One: Not much is happening in this chapter, but I was absolutely fascinated by the depth of your character development. I love how you just sat there with the reader and explored Eddward. Usually, that sort of thing gets boring very fast, but this was actually really cool! He's so unique ...
mcampbell2985: This book was honestly like a hidden gem. I added it to my library out of curiosity and this ended up being my favorite book that i have read on this platform. It was so different and makes you laugh and cry and genuinely feel whatever the characters are feeling. No matter what the price was i wo...
Stephen Warner: To start off, I am thoroughly impressed. The writing style is somewhat unique, and the plot seemed to move at a nice and steady pace. However, I was not expecting this to be a vampire book! I am usually not one for novels about vampires, but I was pleasantly surprised! You wrote with such grace a...