Warning: Explicit / Violent / Sexual Abuse content.
“Slap the bitch.”
“Fuck her up Viola.”
“Shut up, let me think of what to do with this fucking desperate whore, I’ll teach you for staring at Christopher, he’s mine bitch.”
My knees hit the wet grass as I tried to grasp what was happening to me. Menacing laughter echoed from all around me, blurry faces warping in and out of each other. With a hard thud I found myself yanked to the ground, what felt like a ton of bricks slammed into my face making impact with my nose. I didn’t try to get back up, I just lay there as the cold drops of rain replaced my tears.
“What a slut, as if Chris would ever want her.”
“Shit... I think someone’s coming, quick run.”
The footsteps and sinister cackles faded away as I lay in my harsh surrender. After what felt like hours I tried to shift myself up, wincing at the pain radiating from nearly every part of my body. A part of me wished that I died right there on the school field, but fate had more in store for me. The thought of running home sent a chill down my spine.
Home was meant to be my safe haven, it was meant to be a place for my silent sanctuary. I would much rather face the abuse that I did on this school field every single day than face what waited for me at home.
Home, what I liked to call hell was only a short walk away, but it felt like I had been limping my aching body back for days. I froze at the sight of the tall black and gold gates as they mocked me, daring me to turn around and run away and never come back.
Finally reaching the two large oak doors a shiver ran through my body, I thought of what my punishment would be for arriving home late and above all in the state that I was in.
I stepped into the large foyer trying to stay as quiet as I could, my heart slammed into my stomach as two hands grabbed my shoulders. To my relief the woman standing before me was our housemaid Henrietta, I called her Hetty.
Hetty was the closest thing I could compare to a Mother, she had often nursed me back to health if I had been beaten. She would sneak food up to my room if they starved me. Hetty was the only one who took pity on me. I may not have known much about love having never experienced it, but I knew that I loved Hetty and was so grateful to her.
“Jesus, Mary, Joseph.” Hetty shrieked, her panicking eyes scanning my face. She looked around to make sure no one was coming before dragging me into the kitchen. The warmth from her gentle touch soothed my shivering state, and I winced at the cold ice pressed against my nose.
“Was it those nasty girls from school again?” She questioned, concern filling her kind eyes as she tutted in disbelief. “How many times must I tell you to just run away from them Raina?” I gave Hetty a small smile as I thought about her question. “Run away from who Hetty, those girls or my so called family?” Hetty’s eyes widened at my response and I flinched as the cold ice begun to sting.
“Child your life is unfair.” She placed her hand against my cheek, “but these are the cards you have been dealt, you must accept them and change your fate. You have your mother’s strength.”
Hetty’s eyes shot towards the kitchen door and she took a quick step back, I knew we were no longer alone,
“where the hell have you been Raina?” My stepmother sneered, her pointy nose up in the air and her dark hair neatly tucked away in a bun.
“You missed dinner and don’t you dare think the maid will give you any.” Her eyes turning to Hetty sending her a warning as well as to me. My stepmother didn’t even bother to question my bloody state or to ask if I was okay.
I was sent to my room, little did she know that I was always happy when they would send me to my room. By the way my stepmother was dressed I knew she must have had guests coming over and that saved me from being punished that evening.
I sat on my bed and let out a long defeated sigh, my body still ached from the beating at school. I thought back to earlier that day and why the school day ended as harshly as it did.
I don’t recall even looking at Christopher, I must have drifted into a day dream in the library and didn’t realise I was staring straight at him. I couldn’t deny I always had a little harmless crush on Christopher, every girl swooned over his boyish good looks but this time it really wasn’t my fault. Trying to avoid everyone at school was not easy, bad luck would find me day after day making me a victim to cruel bullying.
I heard a fast knock at the door and flinched at the sudden noise distracting me from my thoughts. Hetty rushed in holding a small plate under a large napkin, her frail body waddled over to me. My lips lifted into a cheeky grin as Hetty placed the plate down on my bed before touching my forehead with her sweet hand. “Good heavens child you’re burning up.” Her voice was low but her worry was loud.
Hetty helped me out of my drenched clothes and into fresh pyjamas. She removed the napkin from the plate revealing some leftovers from dinner. She watched as I devoured the delicious meal, her eyes trying to hide her pity. Hetty often cradled me to bed, telling me stories about my Mother until I fell asleep.
My mother came from a very rich family, her father was an extremely successful businessman. I often wondered if that was the only reason my father married her, an image of his greedy face flashed in my mind. Bastard.
My mother was kind and beautiful, she believed in helping people and organised many charity events. Hetty would tell me how she would buy little dresses and store them away shortly after she married my father. It was her dream to have a baby girl. Little did she know she wouldn’t live to see or hold her dream, she would die at the hands of her dream. I killed her.
Not even three weeks after my mother’s death, my father married her widowed cousin my aunt and now stepmother. My stepmother had a son from her previous marriage, my cousin Troy. A year after marrying my father she gave birth to a baby girl, Diana. Hetty told me that everything changed for the worst after my mother passed, the only good thing was me.
I don’t even remember falling asleep that night. Hetty loved to sing to me, her warm voice would soothe me into a peaceful slumber but not for long. The nightmares would find me, I would be running from the darkness, it would fill the air around me. I would see a hint of my mother’s face through the black mist but it would warp into something sinister.
My eyes would open but I wouldn’t be able to move or speak. A lot of my beatings from my father stemmed from waking everyone in the middle of the night with my frantic screams. “Idiot girl, you should have died along with your mother.” He would often curse, fury in his eyes as he beat me unconscious.
A week later I was wondering the kitchen alone as that’s where I felt safest in the house as well as my bedroom. I pulled out a bottle of water from the fridge and gasped at the sight beside me as I closed the fridge door.
“Troy... you scared me.” My voice came out shaky and unsure. Something about Troy always made me feel uneasy. I would often notice him staring at my chest or backside, but I would never glance long enough to see the full extent of his eye assaults.
Troy was muscular, his blonde hair was long and slicked back superman style. “Raina.” He whispered, sending a chill down my spine. I tried to respond casually but he closed the space between us and began inhaling into my hair with his nose.
My scream came out low and muffled noticing that he had his hand over my mouth. “shh shh shh... Raina... don’t do that.” He murmured. “I know how you look at me Raina, I know you want me to fuck you.” Troy groaned in my ear.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, fear and disgust conveying through my wide, glassy brown eyes. Troy took hold of the cold water bottle in my hand and brushed it against my chest watching how my breasts reacted to the sensation.
His lips formed a dark devious grin, one I could never get out of my head and after that day it met me in my nightmares. I knew at some point he would come for me.