Everyone reaches a point in their life where they question who they are and what they stand for. We try to figure out just what we’re meant to do, or what purpose is there for our lives. We search for that special meaning, whether it be what job you want to do, what food your gonna eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner, how your gonna get the money to pay the bills, love... It all raps up into one because its in our nature to.
Looking at Georgia’s smug face right now, all I could think about was if my purpose and future was to play this dangerous game of pinning after a taken man. A man who is to be wed in three months to my step-sister. It all seems so wrong in my head, but ‘I love him’ seems to be the answer going off in my heart, but was it enough? Will being the second best thing ever be enough for him?
The reality of the situation crashed down on me the minute Gia made an appearance. With a table lit with candles to set the mood, food laid out on the table that I cooked, and me getting all dressed up for him, must look like one hell of a picture. The tree of us in a romantically, decorated room that was only meant for two. Floor swallow me whole please.
The three of us just stood looking at each other, clearly not knowing what to do to get rid of the awkward tension. It was unbearable.
Alonzo hasn’t said a word since Gia made the comment, and my heart felt just about ready to break into pieces. Gia laces her finger through his, clearly making a statement and looks at me in contempt. Despite me telling myself that I did this for him, the undeniable flush of shame that rises to my cheeks makes me want to cry.
Would I always be questioning myself about how he feels about me? Did he even feel the slightest bit of what I felt for him? Or is he really in love with Georgia?
“I told you babe, she can’t be trusted.”
“That’s funny coming from you.”
Gia scoffed, pulling her hand from Alonzo’s and enters the dining room fully. “At least I’m not the one trying to seduce a taken man!” I flinched at her words. The truth suddenly made me feel like the dirt at the bottom of Gia’s Louboutin shoes.
“You go prancing around like the victim, when your the one causing all the problems!” Was I really the one causing the problems for everyone? No. That’s a lie. If anything, Gia’s the one who always stir up trouble. She’s the one who always tries her best to make every and anything about her.
“Me? I’ve been nothing but kind to you since you came into my life, and what do you do? You go fuck all my boyfriends behind my back. Every single one of them!” I see her cast a panicked look to Alonzo whose face was completely blank. I didn’t give a fuck though. I wasn’t done with her yet.
“You were always seeking the attention a hundred percent of the time and I was fine with that, but no, that wasn’t enough.” The tears rolled down my face and I didn’t bother to wipe them. I was done hiding. “You post mean Photoshop pictures of my face on naked people like shit should be funny. I had to live in your shadow ever since you got here! Do you have any idea what you put me through?”
It was tempting not to walk over to her and beat the shit out of her. I wasn’t just talking about all the bad things she did to me in high school. She obviously didn’t realize the damage her actions had caused me. She didn’t fucking know.
“So, now your making me out to be this horrible person? Shit happened seven years ago. Let it go.” I shake my head at her in disbelief. Why do I even bother?
That one word was enough to silence us and make the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. The deep, velvety voice was something I always loved about him. The authority behind it always made him look ten times more attractive... not that he needed it. Those eyes alone could command any woman to do whatever he wanted. Including me.
“Kalani, go to your room.” At first I just stood there, unmoving, not believing that he wanted me to leave. Me. Like I was a child that needed a time out. I felt that familiar burn in my nose and knew that the tears were coming. But then I took one look in Gia’s face and I knew that I couldn’t give up that easily.
I knew deep within myself that if I loved him like I said I did, I would have to fight for him. I know deep down he feels something, if only just a little, and I’m not going to throw that away. I’m not going to run with my tail tuck between my legs anymore.
That may have worked seven years ago for seventeen year old Kalani, but the new and improved Kalani was going to fight for the man she loved.
“No,” I said crossing my hands across my breast defiantly.
The smile on Gia’s face disappeared and was replaced by a scowl. I’m sure she could see the determination in my eyes. I wasn’t going to back down. Not anymore.
“Your truly pathetic, Kalani,” she said shaking her head at me like she pitied me. I didn’t want her fake sympathy. She could take it and shove up her---
“Kalani, leave. Now.” I looked in Alonzo’s eyes and saw how dark the usually bright sapphires were. His sharp jaw was locked tight and he looked to be restraining himself from doing something. It was obvious he was angry and I found myself frowning. Was he angry that I did all this for him? Was he disgusted with me?
“I said, no.” Whatever was the source of his anger, I didn’t care. I wasn’t going anywhere.
Alonzo closes his eyes in resignation, running his hands through his hair. Gia walks up to him rubbing her hands on his chest. I see him relax to her touch and I felt like a fucking idiot standing there watching the little love scene. A sob breaks out before I could stop it and Alonzo’s eyes snap back open, staring into mine.
“Why?” Gia looks at me confusedly, but he knew what I was asking. Why her? What good attributes could that she devil have that’s better than mine? I laugh out loud at myself not caring if I looked like I had gone mad. I’m such a fucking idiot.
I have this whole plan about getting him back, but I forgot the one thing that was to determine how this whole fiasco played out. I’m sure that in myself I know he feels something, I just forgot to be concrete in that. What if I was reading his signals wrong all along? But that couldn’t be it. I mean, you don’t touch your fiancé’s sister like that unless you feel something, right?
“I’m done talking to the both of you.” Before I could react to anything, I’m being dragged by an Adonis up the stairs. “Alonzo, let me go!” My shouts and pleas fell on deaf ears. His stony face was almost making me regret not moving to his command in the first place. Almost.
My bedroom door slams shut behind us, and I jump back from him in fright and he lets me go, “Stay here and don’t move.” I swallow the lump in my throat when I heard that dominating, deep voice. This man in front of me heaving with those dark eyes, meant business. I don’t think I want to provoke him anymore than I already have.
He leaves out the door and I fall back on my bed with tears stinging my eyelids. Was this going to be my life? The constant stamp of approval form him when he already had someone who was there? The way his body relaxed under Gia’s touch was burned into my brain. I couldn’t forget that even if I tried. They were familiar with each other...comfortable.
I didn’t want this to be my life but what am I supposed to do? Some people would have righted off getting back in a relationship after what I’ve been through, but I couldn’t do that. My heart still longed for that sense of want and love that I just knew that I had to find. But then the thought of wanting Alonzo only because of the good memories we had together resurfaced.
Was that really the reason I wanted him? Because I was so desperate for that special attention again I knew he can give me? I hadn’t had that in two years so I thought that it was fine to pin after my sister’s fiancé? What was wrong with me?
Fuck! I need to get a grip on myself. This is wrong. All of it is. I don’t know what I was thinking. Listening to Tatiana and my stupid heart got me embarrassed and looking like a fool. Maybe he cares about her and I really am intervening on a marriage. It really isn’t fair to Georgia to do this to her.
The opening of the door snapped me out of my internal melt down. The look on Alonzo’s face was really making me rethink this whole ‘go get my man plan’. I got up off the bed and swallowed my pride, deciding that I was going to stop trying to meddle between two people who obviously love each other. No matter how much it hurts me.
“I’m sorry,” I looked down to my feet. My heart couldn’t take what I’m about to do, but its not like I have a chance when he loves her...that was a suicide mission that I wasn’t sure I was determined to go though.
“I didn’t mean to come between you two when you guys obviously love each other.” I sniffled, wiping the tears from my eyes, “I’ll just pack my things and lea---”
My mouth instantly clamped shut. He looked straight into my eyes when he said his next words, “You don’t get to decide what to do here. I do.”
He closes the distance between us in three strides. My back hits the wall with a small thud, “You have no idea what you do to me...”
My breath hitches and my stupid heart felt like it was gonna beat its way out my chest. Did he just say what I think he did? My head is tilted back, and my brown eyes meet his dazzling blue ones, “You have no fucking idea what seeing you in that dress makes me want to do to you.”
I felt like I was falling. Falling deeper into the abyss that is Alonzo. I felt like I was floating and I didn’t want to come down. But before I could completely let go, a thought came to the fore front of my mind. Something I wanted to know before I moved any further with him.
“Do you love Gia?”
He doesn’t say anything for a while and I wondered if I was really in over my head with this man. His eyes travel down the length of my body again, and I see him lick those luscious lips of his. Lips I wanted on mine. I bite my lip when his eyes meet mine again. I’m sure he saw the challenge in them. Would he kiss me if he did love her?
Then his lips were on mine.