I sit on the chair in the boardroom cleaning the blood from my knives and swords when the door opens and Brit and our boss walk through. I let my white hood down and threw my mask over my head and into the trash bin. It is saturated in the blood that spilled from my fractured nose. “What the hell happened?” Our boss asked. I laugh maniacally. “What do you think happened?” I roll my eyes and throw my swords back in their sleeves on my back. I click my tongue out at my boss and rest against the chair, propping my legs up on the table. “Let me tell you what happened. Brit almost got shot. I had to fight through a bunch of idiots and mafia drug bitches to save Brit’s life. I had to kill countless people and try and save innocent civilians from being in the line of fire! You said it was a contract kill, yet it turned to a bloodbath and we didn’t even get a chance to murder the fucking bastard!” I seeth.
This bitch has balls to come in here and pretend he has no idea what happened. “Long story short it went south.” Brit said. I scoff and roll my eyes into the back of my skull. “Damn right it went south.” I spit. I place my hands behind my head and shut my eyes, so I don’t have to look at this fucker’s face. Grant it, he’s my boss, but I only answer to one person and that’s my conscience. “I told you two to just do the contract kill and get the fuck out of there!” My boss yelled. He had some fucking nerve. I open my eyes and glare him down with a menacing stare. “That’s what we did! We were ambushed, you thick-headed piece of shit!” Brit slams her fist down on the table and the chair she was sitting in ricochets off the wall. “If it wasn’t for Ana I would’ve been dead!” Brit yells. She has anger flowing down her body and her demeanor went from calm and collected to crazy bitch mode in seconds.
“If it wasn’t for your stupidity you wouldn’t have had to call Ana!” He hollers back at Brit. Now I’m beyond pissed. The bitch has the fucking nerve to question Brit. Not fucking happening asshole. “If she didn’t she would’ve been dead! It wasn’t her fault! You’re lucky I kicked every one of their asses so they wouldn’t come back from the dead!” I growl.
My hands grip the table until my knuckles are white and my feet are planted into the ground. I stand my ground so rigidly it makes Brit shiver slightly. “And guess what! You both almost died trying! You’re lucky to be alive. The both of you.” My boss exclaims. I slam my fist against the table once more and the whole damn thing shakes from my force. I point a hard finger in his direction and venom fills every single word I speak. “I’m alive because I did what I had to do as an assassin! I kicked every one of their asses and killed them to survive! Brit is alive because of me! How was she supposed to know that the bitches were waiting for her! She’s not telepathic you dick-wad!” I scream. I’m ready to pounce on this asshole and plunge his head into the floor. He’s lucky that Brit is standing next to me. I don’t care what authority he thinks he has. You don’t fuck with me. “Ana calm down.” Brit grabs my arm and I go completely still. Freezing in place, but poison slipping in my tone.
I’m ready to strike with my viper instincts at any moment and the only thing holding me back beside Brit is my will to not do so. Though he’s wearing that very thin with each second. “You’re lucky I don’t burn you alive for putting us in danger!” I roar. He is going to endure the wrath of the cunning snake I am. “Anastasia please.” Brit tries to calm me, but it’s no use at this point. “No Brit! I’m done! Being an assassin shouldn’t involve being ambushed by idiot 1, 2 and 3! And go ahead and throw dickweed in there while you’re at it! I understand we have obligations as assassins! We kill and we fight to escape! We protect the people of the Italian mafia when necessary and we protect the innocent citizens of New York, but I didn’t sign up to do your fucking dirty work!“ I shout. My anger is on a very thin string.
I snatch the closet knife on my black ‘suit’ and lunge for him. “Anastasia-!”Brit yells. “No Brit.” My boss puts up a hand to stop whatever Brit was trying to say. “Leave her be.” I slam his body against the wall and let the knife take control. I shut off my humanitarian senses and let the fury take its course. “I’m so angry that I could gut you like a fish and not even flinch. I’m not afraid of you and whatever authority you think you have. So you can shove it up your ass because I’m done doing your dirty work for you. I shouldn’t have too and if I keep having to do...” I pause as I glare him down. He looks intimidated. Good. “...I promise you I won’t even hesitate to kill you.” I state.
My waves of rage calm down slowly into small droplets of water and I release his throat. “You too are going to fix this mess before I get back and if it’s not then there will be hell to pay.” My boss calmly says. I almost punched him square in the nose. I want to ruin his perfect fucking face so much it hurts, but Brit grabs my arms and pulls them behind me, making me immobile. Shit Brit. “If you think for one damn second that I’m going to clean your mess you have another fucking thing coming!” I bellow. My boss walks out of the room leaving Brit and I alone to talk. I’m so enraged right now it would take a miracle to calm the storm. “Ana.” Brit says. I put my hands on my temples and try to massage the rage away. “Anastasia.”
“What! What Brit!” I scream. She knows not to mess with me when I’m angry. “You know the anger you feel right now is towards one person.” She says. I’m tired of cleaning up after men and doing their dirty work so they can go and do whatever they please. “Cleaning up after him means one thing.” Brit says. I want to pull my hair out. “Anastasia you know you’re an assassin with potential that even terrifies me, but that anger...that anger you feel is not about fixing his mistakes...” Brit pauses. She swallows a lump in her throat and continues. “...it’s about fixing your fathers.” Brit finishes. I whip my head around with fury clear in my eyes. “No...it isn’t.” I grit my teeth. “But it is Ana. I’m here for you always. Just talk to me.” Brit tries to grab my arm, but I yank it back. “No Brit. Please no.” I say. I walk over and grip the window seal. My knuckles white. “Ana, you’re going to have to face it.
Sooner rather than later.” Brit says. I shove back building tears because I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to go back to the place of an afraid thirteen year old girl. “I...don’t want to remember.” My teeth are pressed together in a firm line. “You don’t have to...you just have to know that they’re there. That they are a part of you and that you have something...someone who does love you.” Brit says. How did we go from being angry at my boss to talking about sentimental shit. My head is spinning. “Brit I failed my mission because I keep thinking about the past and my future with a man who I’m consumed by. In a point beyond repair.” I let a stray tear fall on my tan skin. “Ana you didn’t fail...you stopped.” Brit says. I turn to face her. “Stopped what?” I ask. Tears threatening to burst out.
“Stopped living. You didn’t try and move onto a better life. You just hoped that it would come to you and now that it has you’re letting the past control your decision.” Brit says. I take a step back and sit down in the nearest chair I can find. “I can’t Brit.” I say. “But you can.” Brit states. “You can live. You can thrive.” She puts a hand on my cheek. “You can if you let it be and it will.” She looks at me in the eyes. “Are you sure?” I ask. She nods her head. “Let him in and if you have...don’t let him leave.” She says. I take in her words to the deepest part of my heart. “If you let him go...it will be the biggest mistake of your life.”
I suck in a breath and hope and pray she’s right.