Assassins

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45. ANASTASIA

“Be brave my little girl. My brave girl.” My mother’s voice slices straight through my heart as tears create roaring rivers over my face and drip onto my mother’s limb arm. “MOM! Momma!” I yell out. The sharp knife my chest twisting onto unimaginable lengths of torture that plagues my soul.

“Come on Ana!” My father yanks my arm and drags me out of the hospital room until we reach the parking lot. “Stop fucking crying and get in the damn car.” He growls. My stature trembles below him until he grabs my hair and slams my head against the freezing metal door. “Get in the fucking car bitch!” My father yells

“Your mother was worthless anyway and so are you!”

.....

“How is he?” Spencer rubs soothing circles over my shoulder. The color in Zayn’s face has returned to a rosy pink, matched with his now, full luscious lips and vastly heaving chest that goes up every time he breathes. The hope in my heart grows every time I see his chest rising and reminds that he’s going to make it. Even if he has to fight through the pain...He’ll fight his way back.

“He’ll be okay.” I squeeze Zayn’s hand and lean my face into the sheet. It’s been so long since I’ve seen his handsome eyes staring up at me with such passion for his scent filling my senses whole and his mouth opens wide as words pour out into the air, telling me how beautiful I am, but instead he lays in a hospital bed, frail and limb clinging onto existence.

“Eat.” Brit says. I haven’t eaten much of anything the last three weeks because I just wanted to be there in case he woke up. I wanted to watch his eyes open wide and kiss his lips once he called out my name. “You haven’t eaten since Tuesday. It’s been four days Anastasia.” I shake my head. “I’m not hungry.” Even though my stomach is eating itself on the inside with the churning acid in my intestines. “Ana you’re going to pass out if you don’t eat.” Spence shoves the Caesar salad toward me, but I back away. “He’s more important.” I feel a hot tear leave my eye that trails down my neck. The shards in my chest pressing into the deep wounds which suffocate me.

“He’ll be here after you eat.” Spencer places the bowl in my hands and I give him a cold glare. “If you don’t eat, I’ll shove it down your throat.” Brit glowers at me with a razor sharp fork. I sigh deeply, knowing their both right, yet so afraid to admit it.

I’ll never be okay.

I’ll never eat.

Never sleep until I know he’s alive.

“Fine.” I huff and scarf down the salad without even tasting it. I turn my eyes back to Zayn and softly smile as I lean my forehead on his. “Come back to me baby. Please. I love you.” I kiss his forehead and lean back into my chair to swallow down the sadness rising in my throat. The bile building and my fist clenching towards the person who nearly murdered the love of my life.

He has to come back to me.

He has too.

Seconds turn to minutes.

Minutes turn to hours.

Hours turn to days.

Days turn to weeks and still my stomach growls at me to feed it, but I refuse.

My eyes sag below my vision to force me to rest, but I ignore it. I push the mere thought of unconsciousness out my mind because I need to be here when he wakes.

When his voice brings solace to my chaos.

How his scent brings me comfort in the darkest of times that consume the sun up in the high skies where birds soar freely and clouds pile up into cute muffins.

How the stormy days become sunny when his eyes meet mine and warm my core instantly with their compassionate state.

Even the way his arms wrap around me when I’m into a dead sleep, yet still I feel him pressing near me and snuggling me closer because the idea of distance kills him.

It’s killing me.

It’s punishing me.

The distance.

He’s so close, yet so damn far and there’s nothing I can do, except hope...

Pray...

That he’ll wake me up from the nightmare I’m living and wrap his hands around my waist just so he can devour my lips into his.

“Baby?” I hear a small voice strain. My eyes shoot wide open near the window seal and I race to feel his warmth against my palm. “Zayn?” Silent tears brim over my lids as my chest swells at the sight of his brilliant blue eyes. “Baby w-why are you c-crying?” He croaks. “I-I-I thought I l-lost you.” My voice breaks as the tears stream down my swollen face and I place a desirable kiss to his lips.

One that makes my heart swoon in my chest and ignites the living fire in my veins.

He’s alive.

God brought him back to me.

“Zayn!” Spence hollers with relief. “You’re alive.” A little bit of drool trails down the corner of my mouth, but Zayn gently wipes it away with as much strength that he can muster. “Why wouldn’t I be?” He gives me a quiet laugh. “You had to come back. You had too. For me. For us.” I wrap my arms around his back to bring his body to mine. “Baby I’d never leave you. Never.” He clutches my back to ease the aching in my body that flushes the more he speaks.

“I love you.” I cup his face and kiss his lips so desirably it leaves me dizzy. “And I love you.” He swipes the hair from my face. “I’d never, ever leave you. Never...because you’re all I have. All I have to live for and if that’s my sin, to love you...then I’d rather commit a million sins to love you in a billion lifetimes.” He smiles valiantly.

My lower lip trembles at his words. “Don’t you get all decent on me now.” I chuckle with a bright, teary-eyed smile. “I like decent people.” He groans. “Ma’am take a step back please.” The nurse moves me out of the way to inspect Zayn and Spencer pulls me into him. “I told you he’d come back to you.” He gives me a warm smile. “He always will.” I declare.

Always...

Because who would I be without him?

“Everything looks good. You may be in a lot of pain, but you’ll survive Mr. Thorne.” The Doctor says. “He’ll be okay right?” I ask. My muscles are tense. “Definitely.” The Doctor smiles. I run back over to him and nuzzle my head into his neck. “Let’s give them some privacy.” Brit suggests. Soon the room is empty and I’m left in his presence.

“I always find my back to you. The one woman who owns my heart.” He gently caressed my cheek back and forth. I place my palm on his face. “I own you? You own me. All that I am belongs to you. Only you.”

“So this is us?” He smiles. I wipe my tear stained cheeks. “It’s only been us.” He motions for me to join him on the bed and I snuggle underneath the covers. “This bed isn’t gonna hold both of us.” I giggle lightly. “It’s just gonna have too because you’re not leaving my arms.” He matter-of-factly says.

You got that right...

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