We finally returned home after a long deception filled night mixed with uneasiness from Nadia’s jeopardized presence and I kick my shoes off at the front door. Even though Zayn and I have things to discuss I’m beyond tired. “Bed?” He asks. I nod my head in agreement and shut my eyes closed. Zayn kicks me up bridal style and begins to carry me up the stairs as I nuzzle my head into him and let sleep overtake my eyelids. “Good night beautiful.” I feel a kiss to my forehead and blankets covering my body. Soon enough sleep envelopes me like a blanket and coddles me into unconsciousness.
My fingers tremble below the rock hard concrete in the darkest place of the chambers that make your body cower in fear of the oncoming punishments. I travel my hands down the side of the cracked brick wall and gaze out the bared window keeping me back from the freedom I lost. My tears quietly shed down my puffy, sullen face of doom which consumes the demented figures of the ropes and chains concealing my heart.
I clinch my stomach into knots from the cold in the chilly basement in which sleep is the only thing saving me from having to face the reality of what the men behind the door bring. My knees coddle into my chest hugging me tightly against myself while the small rain droplets make goosebumps rise on my skin.
The winter air soothing my plagues memories of the deep Red Sea full of whips, chains, cuffs and extension cords that force me into the submission of one man’s sexual desired state. The cords that bound me to this cursed life forever until the courage to fight back is nothing, but a demented thought created to give you hope in the most darkest of places.
“Oh my little bamboo.” My father travels his hand over my wet face that stares straight into his hollow eyes. “Make sure she she submits fully or daddy will just have to punish her.” My fathers voice is cold and coarse as the man behind him and picks me up and throws me onto the bed. He takes the cuffs and chains my hands above my head while my legs tremble below in fear and my arms strain against the bounding chains.
“Your mine.” The man’s breath reeks of alcohol that makes bile rise in my throat with a mixture of pure hatred of the hellish ways my father tortures my body.
It’s my body!
I have a voice!
I want to scream.
Anything to stop the torture his erection brings to my throbbing walls inside of me, but that is a contradicted term by the amount of lust growing in the man’s eyes from my exposed breasts. His mouth attacks my hardened nipple and traces fingers over my pelvis until his tongue is done devouring what isn’t his.
What doesn’t belong to him.
“I’m gonna make you scream my name so loud your father will be jealous.” The man’s breath fans over my face with acid spilling onto my skin. He rips my underwear from my sore libido and he starts to pump himself slowly until he plunges inside my womanhood and I holler out a scream so loud the walls rattle.
“Get off! Get off! STOP! STOP!” I kick the covers to fight off the pained memoranda. “No! I don’t want this! I’m not yours!” I throw a pillow in my rash state until Zayn’s hand shake my eyes open. “Baby it’s a dream!” His eyes fill with worry of what I’ve witnessed again.
“Such a good girl.” His voice makes my skin crawl and the hairs stand on end near my neck. “Moan for me Anastasia.” He thrusts in wildly making my legs go numb and my arms fall weak under the cuffs.
He release a low grunt from his throat the faster he pumps inside my throbbing walls and I turn my head to the side where I can look out the window and dream of a place where happiness can be found. How the birds will sing you a morning song to start the day off with a steaming cup of coffee or a long silhouette gown to make you feel like a princess on prom night. Instead empty tears stray down the corner of my eyes and put my mind in a state of blank mindfulness.
“Scream Anastasia! Scream my name!” I block out anything that can take me away from my dreamful state, but his hand rains down hard on my cheek, making the skin burn from contact.
“No! No! No!”
I scramble away from Zayn from fear of torture.
“Baby it’s me. Anastasia it’s me.” Tears fall over the edge of my eyes and pour over the dam that once protected my orbs. “Baby look at me.” His hands cup my cheek and I shake below him.
“Look at my eyes. Look at me.” I dart my orbs to his with fading hesitation. “It’s me. It just me.” My eyes fill into reality and diminish from their phantasmagoria state. “Zayn?” I place my palm on his face to remember every shape and fragment in my empty mind. “Your okay. He’s not here. I’m here. Your okay.” He pulls me into his chest while the dreams dissipate into nothingness.
“I love you it’s okay. Your okay. He can’t hurt you.” I wrap myself into Zayn’s body and cover my shivering body with the warm duvet. “Your gonna be okay.” I let the tears fall over my face and into his hands, but he pulls even tighter the harder I sob. “NO!” I scream. I can still see the monster right in front of me.
The monster that destroyed my dignity and stomped all over my childhood like it was nothing, but a game to him. “Anastasia.” Zayn squeezes his arms around me as I thrash in the bed to fight against the currents. “Baby he isn’t here. I am. Your okay, I promise.” I come to stop as Zayn’s voice calms down my racing heart pounding in my chest.
“I love you.” His tone soothes me back into a corner of relief from the horror of past years. “It was a dream?” I ask. He nods his head at me. “Nothing, but a dream.” I cling my arms his neck and pull his lips down on mine. It’s the only way to make the pain go away.
“I love you.” His hands arch my back into his torso while he kisses me deeply. “I love you more. So much more.” His lips break from mine to release his shirt over his head and connect back with my mouth before I know it. I lock my arms around his neck to keep him in place while his tongue dances with mine in paradise.
“He’ll never touch you ever again as long as I’m here.” His eyes bore into mine with such love of another being. “You promise?” I trail my finger over his bottom lip. “I promise.” He leans his forehead against mine and before I know it sleep befriends me once more in his arms.