Kate rushed off saying she really needed a shower. The truth was she realized the situation and became embarrassed I am sure. I didn't mind I managed to ease away some of her sadness from last night. I suppose I should also get ready for today I believe I am scheduled for tonight's performance. Ever since I met Kate I feel a strange conflict inside of me. I know I feel attraction but what exactly does that mean for me.
Love comes with attachments and obligations. Love is best viewed by me as a cage for two people, could I commit to a loss of freedom. I really don't fully understand this and I don't know why. However I can put this off for another day it has little importance at this time. Ah I forgot I still owe Danny an icecream well it's time to begin another adventure outside, maybe fresh air will clear my head.
For some reason I watched many couples and people as I traveled through the city. The thoughts regarding love kept plaguing me, for once I truly wanted to understand something. Normally I would be fine with indecisive actions and I always hated the thought of freedom being stripped away. Kate made me lost in my thoughts more then the usual but somehow I ended up back at the cafe. Luckily my auto pilot managed to get the icecream so that's a start.
Danny was early like normal getting ready to open the cafe. He didn't think I would seriously give him an icecream sandwich as an apology. We ended up laughing over it which soon drifted into chatter. He told me tomorrow me and Kate would have to watch the shop, surprisingly enough he had date plans. He offered a smile while confusion sprouted inside of me. At first Kate had someone she liked and now Danny had someone he was dating. Was I blurring lines out of my own desire, was it really just me who saw attraction.
Danny raised his voice a little snapping me back to reality. And that's when Kate came in looking as amazing as usual. Apparently she heard a local wandering vendor was coming through an she wanted me to go with her. I agreed without hesitation but on the way to where Kate said he was setting up she told me what she wanted. A teddy bear that they stopped selling when she was a kid, she told me in detail what it looked like. I memorized every detail but i couldn't help but smile at her affection for something so simple, Kate was really adorable in this exact way. With her rushing it did not take long to arrive at the statue of Aphrodite near the largest library in the city. She was like a bunny I couldnt contain myself as she hopped around looking through crowds of people, she said he should have been here by now.
So we waited but not for long when the sky opened up and poured down rain. Everyone was scrambling for shelter but Kate was just laughing as she got drenched in the rain. It was an amazing sight surely once in a life time the way Kate looked at me as we stood in the rain. She was angry but smiling to swearing she would get that Bear she wanted most and before I realized it she pulled me into a dance. I wasn't in control at all and with her eyes locked on mine I could feel a melody but this wasnt something I could sing. For some reason this song had no melody I knew and I was scared for a brief second when I finally understood why. My heart was beating and it was creating a melody that only the heart knows how to sing. That is why I was attracted to Kate, She's like the wind sweeping me up in her rythm. I couldn't tell if my heart was alone in its melody or if her heart felt it to.
As we danced the background faded out and all I could see was her. Time seemed to slow as an impulse took over and I kissed her, she had kissed me back but soon broke the kiss. This is why I like my freedom from emotions they are so confusing I just can not understand them. When it comes to singing a melody I can read everyones emotions but not when it comes to me. I couldn't say anything as Kate ran off I didn't see her face clearly either as the rain just hid away whatever she must have felt. Kate was a beautiful piece of Music that only my heart knew the melody to. The rain slowly began to let up before it completely stopped I was soaked and unable to move.
I never expected anything from people I mostly wanted to give and be free. When I found my voice I knew I wanted to give more of myself if it truly made them happy. I just never understood what made me happy outside of other people becoming happy from my melodies. Before I could dwell further I was brought out of my thoughts by a older man with a cart full of various items. My eyes made contact with the teddy bear she wanted I felt like I was being pitied by the world. The man asked if I was a customer and apologized he had troubles pushing his cart. From a single look it's no wonder why, The cart has seen better days for sure so I offered the man a smile and asked him for the teddy bear. I paid him with every bit of money I had on me which was nearly two hundred cash. Before he could protest I offered him one more smile before rushing off to the cafe, I could hear the sky rumbling above surely signaling more rain.
And just as I entered the cafe trickling of rain started to fall rather slowly this time. Kate was standing at the center of the closed cafe apparently Danny closed earlier then normal. I placed the bear on the table next to her and whispered a soft apology. I decided to give her space since i had to get ready for tonight's performance and I am sure she needed the space from me. Before I could walk off fully she asked me why but I wasn't sure what I should say. She asked me again and I felt her straining her self to ask me she was on the verge of breaking it felt. So I told her as much as I knew about why but finding the words started out difficult. So I started with what I did know and I explained to her the melody inside of me that I didn't know but my heart did.
And how the moment I felt her lips touch mine the melody inside filled me entirely. She didn't respond so I continued to explain what I could then I got to the part I was confused on. I told her I had first assumed she was attracted to me but soon realized I was attracted to her. I told her I never experienced this before and was confused on the whole subject. I ended up apologizing again for my fumblings and she finally laughed softly. She thanked me for finding her teddy bear and asked for more time. So I said okay and went to get ready for the nights performance ahead of me.