Damon walks into Chris’s office and after shutting the door, he places himself in the big leather chair. He takes one of his little cigars and lits it, to inhale deeply with his eyes closed. After his confrontation with Fredric two days ago, he shut down. He just couldn’t talk about it , he wanted to, but no word was coming out of his mouth.
He knows Fredric is slowly losing his patience with him. He knows he needs to talk about this, but he doesn’t know how. He feels like he has failed. Failed as an Alpha, failed as a son, failed as a mate and failed as wolf.
Someone knocks on the door. “Damon, I just saw you enter, can I talk to you for a second?” It’s Fredric’s voice
Fredric appears in the doorway and the look on his face is concerned. “How are you doing today?”
Damon sighs and avoids Fredrics interrogating gaze. “I’ve felt better.” He’s not going to lie. He is going to try to talk. He has to.
“Tell me.” Fredric takes a cigar from the box that Damon is holding out for him.
“I-” Damon sighs and desperately ties to keep his voice under control.
“Take it easy, son. I have time.”
“Just before I moved here I found out that I’m infertile. And when I was on my rounds, that day I let that rogue slip between my fingers, I met my mate. I mated her and then left her. I shouldn’t have mated her.” Damon shakes his head, a tear runs over his cheek. “I should have gone the minute I noticed her. Now she’s stuck with a mate that can’t give her the thing she wants most; pups.”
Damon looks away. Avoiding Fredrics gaze that is still on him. “Damon.” His heavy demanding voice almost forces him to look up. “Have you talked to her about it?”
Damon shakes his head.
“Hasn’t it occurred to you that maybe she wants you more than she wants pups? That being with you, loving you, is her ultimate happiness and not the pups she may or may not have with you?”
Damon looks at Fredric with a lot of surprise in his eyes, tears keep falling from his cheeks. He shakes his head and then looks down.
“All you have to do is go to her and explain yourself. Tell her. She needs to know, she deserves to know.”
“I’ll disappoint her.”
“You already have by running away. Now you need to fix it. Crawl for her on your bare knees.”
Damon nods and they’re quiet for a while.
“Visit her when you’re on your rounds. Talk to her. Explain how you feel. She will understand.” Fredric’s eyes are full of compassion.
Fredric looks up and arches his eyebrow. “For what?”
“For having patience with me. For listening to me. For being there for me, even though you have a lot to worry about already.”
“Let me tell you something, Damon. Let me tell you a secret.” Damon looks at him curiously. “I know who your father is. I’ve known him pretty well when we were both young and just became Alphas. I know he has a serious temper and I know he expects quite a lot from you. He already did when you were just born. There’s a lot of pressure lying on your shoulder, to follow in his footsteps and do it just as good as he did.” Damon nods. “So I know it must not be easy to deal with him. I understand that your vision of being Alpha is slightly different from Christopher’s or mine. I’d like to show you another way to be Alpha, another way of being yourself while being Alpha.” Fredric inhales on his cigar deeply before talking further.
“Are you interested to see how we do it here?”
Damon nods. “I’d love to. My father is quite distant. I don’t really have a connection with him. I can see here that you and Chris are much closer to your people. You have a bond with them, that I have never seen before.”
“That’s right, we’re very close to our pack members. ” Fredric nods. “We see them as our family. Being Alpha is not just taking care of the financial side and the protecting side. It’s also taking care of the emotional wellbeing of your people. Being an Alpha is like being a father. You take care of your family, protect them, make sure there’s food on the table, but you also make sure they’re happy, that they feel good about themselves. Being an Alpha is the same. I know I felt like a father to my pack and I know Christopher looks at it almost the same way. You’d go through hell and back for your family, and that’s what we do for our pack too.”
Fredric smiles. “I’m thinking about some major changes for the Pack, so you’ll hear from me later, I'll have to think a bit about what we're going to do with you, is that okay?”
“That’s fine.” Damon smiles.
Fredric gets up from his chair and presses the last bit of his cigar in the ashtray. “You know it, Damon, you’re here in this Pack, so you’re family. If there’s something bothering you, talk about it. Don’t wait until you’re hanging out of the window.” He gives Damon a piercing look.
“I will. Thanks again Fredric.”
Sasha gets out of bed late that morning. She slept in. She notices that Roy is gone, but he left his clothes on the floor. Roy has been here for a few days. He didn’t claim her, as he told her he would do, but they have spent some hot nights together.
Sasha smiles, Roy is everything her mate is not. Roy keeps her safe, shows her love and he is actually there for her. Even though she has noticed that there’s a true dark side of Roy, the savage, rogue side of Roy is still there.
When she picks the clothes from the floor, she feels a wave of nausea stopping her. She really hopes she doesn’t have a stomach bug or something.
Another wave of nausea hits her and she runs into her bathroom. Just in time she hovers over the toilet to hurl up everything that was in her stomach.
She starts to sweat and when she has nothing left in her stomach, she lets herself drop backwards.
The door of the bathroom opens and Roy walks in, still wearing his leather jacket with raindrops on it. “Hey, I heard you, are you alright?”
Sasha nods. “I am now.” He reaches out his hands and pulls her up. “Thanks.” She smiles weakly. Still feeling a bit shaky. He takes a washcloth and makes it wet. Then he wipes her face and her neck with it to freshen her up a bit.
“Get back into bed. I’ll bring you something light to eat.”
“Where did you go?” Sasha asks while she crawls back underneath her comforter.
“I was meeting with my father. Trying to convince him to let his men go. To stop what he’s doing. And to warn him to leave you alone. He’ll face the consequences if he doesn’t.”
“You still don’t want me to talk to you-know-who?”
Roy shakes his head fervently. “No. I don’t want you to do something you’re not comfortable with. And I sense that you’re not even comfortable thinking about talking to the guy. So no, don’t. You first get better.”
He gives her a kiss on her forehead and walks to the door, but freezes midstep.
“What’s wrong?” Roy sniffles and stalks back to Sasha.
He sniffles again and frowns. She sees him focus on something, before he speaks again. “We used protection when we mated, right?”
Now Sasha frowns too. “Yes, why?” Then she looks at him and when she sees his face, she’s astounded. “No way, you think?”