She moved her gaze between me and the reports in her perfectly manicured hands. Her brown-black bob made things different from her long hair. My eyes were glued to her and shoulders squared ,as I waited for my fate.
"I see an improvement. Guess my scolding did some work." Clythia smiled at me but this wasn't the usual but empathetic. She was hiding something.
" Say it, doc."
" I think due to your family history in heart attacks , I'm fearing something dangerous in future." She lowered down her thick squared glasses to examine me.
I kept fidgeting with my fingers. She sighed.
" But I don't understand. I've been taking my meds regularly."
"Angina is usually due to a fatty substance called plaque which builds up in your arteries,blocking blood flow to the heart muscle. This forces your heart to work with less oxygen. If it's the minor stage then there is a chance that it can be cured and yours is but still there're many factors which can become a barrier to the cure. It may lead to heart attack."
I knew how dangerous this could be but heart att... I couldn't even think about it. Where did I go wrong. It was only a week's course that I quit and beside I was fresh once again. My hands began to shake. Clythia squeezed them. Looking into those green eyes, I got my answer. This was it. My eyes became blur with a collection of colours and Clythia was murmuring something like "Your family- heart...history-Sylvia are..." Her voice was like someone talking under water.
" I'm sorry to say that but it has turned into an unstable angina. It might consume you before you know it."
My mind went blank and suddenly Dexter's voice echoed in my mind : "Life is short, live it the way you want"
Everything seemed to fall in place like a puzzle getting its last piece. I offered her a smile. My mind began to work and moisture dried from my eyes. She gazed at me with a Are-You-Crazy look. At this moment I didn't care what mattered. I was going to get rid of this freaking angina or not ,wasn't what took control but my inner strength which told me I had to accomplish all important things before I-
If life decided to give me a reason to cry then damn let's give life a thousands reasons to smile. I stood up , head high;shoulders squared and turned away from my defeat,as if nothing ever happened.
" Do you want anymore information, sir?" The receptionist asked.
“ No, I think that’s all."
I heard a familiar voice and instead of exiting the hospital, I turned around.
" Dexter?" He turned around and didn't look surprised at all unlike me.
"Hey, what you doing here?" He looked taken aback as if something he didn’t expect suddenly happened.
“ Just visiting an old friend.”
I didn’t even realize at the moment that it was first time Dexter ever came to Canada.
“ What’re you doing here?” He studied me carefully as he waited for my reply.
I was tongue-tied. I felt like fainting. Please let the ground open and engulf me in.
" You okay?" asked.
" Yeah...I- uh came to visit a friend." I lied.
" To a cardiac hospital?" He looked confused.
" Yeah, she had an accident." I felt sweat sliding down.
" I'll see you, then." I began to walk out of the building when suddenly he called.
“ Yeah?” I turned around. He was standing only five feet away from me, with his hands thrusted inside his pockets. He had this expression on his face I’d never seen before. A mixture of sympathy and like understanding. We stared at one another as I waited for him to say something. He didn’t say anything.
It felt like he couldn’t make up the words in his mind. Finally he gave me a lopsided sad smile as he asked,
“ Is your friend okay?” A lot of effort was put into the these four words.
And I made even more effort to say the four letters,
I went to my room, took a hot shower and just as I was blow drying my hair Sebastien walked in,without even bothering to knock. At least 18 years made me used to it.
"Hey!" I greeted Sebastien.
" Today was your appointment,what did Clythia say?"
"More serious. Danger coming my way." Or death.
"Damn! I knew it. Did you tell anyone?" I could almost see his defeated expression . The expression which came out when I became disobedient.
" Nah." I was surprised. My voice came out more hoarse than I imagined.
“ I think it’s time to involve your parents.” He began to walk out.
“ Seb! Please let me handle this. I don’t know. I just need time.” I sighed.
"Sylvia, I wish someday you understand how I feel when you don't listen."His voice was soft and slow this time, like music fading away. I wanted to tell him that I don't even listen to myself when he interrupted:
" I don't wanna loose you."
My voice hitched in my throat. I couldn't speak. How down to earth was it. This was reality which I failed to grasp earlier. How one would feel if a loved one passes away. All his memories wash away with time like a sunsets and leaves behind no Tralee of light . Just darkness.The difference is: it comes back but the person doesn't. I wouldn't go,right? Not when I've so many people to love me . Dad used to read me a story in which only those who doesn't have anyone to love them goes back to God. Because He gives them the love which they fail to have in this world.
Sebastien was just as quiet as I was. He didn't say anything because he knew what I wanted and could talk to me without really speaking anything. I finally pulled away.
“ You okay?”
“ Yeah.” I nodded.
“ Would a bunch of cotton candies make you more than okay?” He raised his eyebrows.
“ Hmm, I think a box of dark chocolates will complete the deal.”