It has been an hour since they took Sylvia into the operation theatre for a bypass. We're sitting in the waiting room with a pin drop silence as each one of us is still in the shock for what happened. As soon as they took Sylvia in, I ran out of the hospital in the fresh air as I felt suffocated. Perhaps also because I didn't want to answer any of the questions raised by her parents.
I wanted to scream on top of my lungs but I didn't, instead I just put my head against the back of the bench and looked up at the sky as the tears silently poured down. But I didn't do any of this, instead I walked back inside, to calm her parents down.
She can't go like this, right? I mean there is so much more we need to do together. She has to do her university, get married, have kids and she still needs to see the rest of the world. She has to open up a cotton candy shop too. I silently chuckled to myself as the memories of the time we rode the scooter came before my eyes and how she crashed it because she wanted the cotton candy so bad.
" Did...did you know?" Suddenly Mrs Jacob broke the silence.
No one replied so I assumed she was asking me. I looked at her from across the room and nodded. But quickly looked down again.
" Why didn't you tell any of us?" She was staring at me with a look which said something wrong is going to happen.
" I...I assumed..."
" Evelyn, stop. He's going through the same pain as we are. Don't make things complicated." Mr Jacob said in a low voice as it broke in the end.
" I...wish I hadn't been hard on her. Maybe it's all my fault. Only if I were close to her." She broke down and choked in her husband's chest.
I stood up and walked towards her. Sitting down on one knee ,I grabbed her hand.
" Believe me, it's not your fault. Whenever we talked of you, she talked highly of you. She loves you very much."
" I wish I could understand her." She looked at our hands.
" I wish we all can. She's a mystery. A beautiful mystery." I whispered.
" Was she taking her medicines there?" She asked with a concerned expression.
" She was. Even though she wanted to live like a normal teenager without the constant thought of the illness but she did. And now you make sure she takes them in future too." I smiled at her.
" I will. I promise I will." She sniffed.
" And now listen to me," I squeezed her hand and she looked at me, " she's not going anywhere. She'll be fine. You're going to see."
" Do you promise?" Her eyes held a longing. A mother longing for her child, that's what I saw in them. Her eyes were begging for me to say yes.
" I promise." I said while putting my head in her lap. She kissed the top of my head and stayed there for a while.
Her mom and dad left a few minutes ago. They wanted to stay but I insisted because eye bags had appeared under her father's eyes and her mother was still in the dress she wore on the wedding. Besides, the doctors said the surgery would go for another two hours.
" Call me if you need anything. Hopefully, we'll come back before the surgery." Her father said before going.
" Don't worry. I'm here."
He walked forward but then suddenly turned around and hugged me.
" Thank you, Dexter. Thank you so much."
"You don't have to thank me. She's my responsibility now." I smiled at him. He nodded and left.
I was now alone in this white washed building where the girl I love is battling between life and death. Her parents had asked me to come with them but I refused. I have to be here. Need to be here. As close to Sy as possible.
I shake my leg nervously as I glance outside the window of the waiting room. It was raining outside. I put my head against the wall as I closed my eyes. The memories of the first time when I cried in front of Sy came before my eyes. It was raining that day too when I told her how my parents died.
Suddenly something triggered inside me and I ran out of the waiting room.
To say I was nervous would be beyond your imagination. But I had to do this. Not for me but for her. I can't leave her alone.
Wearing the same green scrubs, face mask and surgical cap that doctors wore, I entered the operation theatre. No one noticed me as I just look like any other doctor. There was no doubt in where she was as only one girl was in here.
She was lying down on the operating table and wearing a white gown. No one was in sight. Has her operation been completed? Her eyes were closed and her head was tilted towards my side. I sucked in a breath. Grabbing a stool from the side I sat down.
She was pale but she looked beautiful.
Suddenly, she stirred as if knowing I was here.
" What're...you...doing here?" She slurred as she was still anesthetic.
" You caught me." I sadly smiled.
" can't...stay away...from me, can you?" She smirked.
" I can't help it."
She lightly chuckled.
" Can you open your eyes?" I asked.
" No. I'm...scared." She said as a tear ran down from the corner of her eye.
I rubbed the tear away and grabbed her hand and put it under my chin while putting my hand over hers.
" It's okay to be scared."
" Dexter I..." She was about to say something but changed her mind at the last moment.
We became silent. The raindrops mercilessly hit the window outside.
" Is it raining?" She said.
" Remember you ruined your dress in the rain?" I asked. She smiled lopsided as if all the memories of that day were coming before her eyes.
" I wrote a song a for you. Do you want to hear it?" I asked.
Her face tightened for a second but quickly relaxed into a smile
" Never...fails to amaze me, Mr hottie."
I cleared my throat and in a low voice I begin,
" I met you in the dark
You lit me up
You made me feel as if I was enough,
I knew I loved you then,
But you'd never know
Cause I played it cool,
I wanna stay with you,
Until we're grey and old,
Just say you won't let go
Just say you won't let go.
And you look as beautiful as ever,
And I swear you'll get better everyday,
" I'm gonna love till my lungs give out,
So I wrote this song for you
Just say you won't let go."
The monitor, monitoring her heart beeped, indicating her heart beat getting faster.
"When...did you become James...Arthur?" She said.
We both became silent.
" Sy, you're gonna be fine." I said in a deep voice.
Her eyes flutter open. I nod and smile at her and put my head on her shoulder as my nose was in the nape of her neck.
" My only regret is that I wasn't able to show you the whole world."
She shakes her head.
" You're...my world, Dexter." She manages.
My heart tightens in my chest. And I smile despite knowing she can't see me. She puts her hand over my hand.
“ Doctors might come soon.” I said.
“ a few more seconds, please. It feels good here.” She says as she tilts her head so that her forehead is against mine now.
Suddenly I feel her chest rapidly rise up and down. I raise my head to look at her.
" Remember...once...I told you to learn to let go? It's time...you let go...of me." She stated as tears ran down her eyes.
I looked at her in confusion.
" I love..you very much. Even if..I die...it...wo..n't change a thing." . I stood up.
" Sy...are you okay? Tell me. Tell me what's happening?!" I asked while panicking.
She grabbed my hand and told me to calm down.
" I'm fine. There's something...for you in...my room. Read it." Tears rolled down my eyes.
" I'm calling the...doctors!" I turned around but she again got hold of my hand and held tightly onto it.
" I'm just playing...around with you. I'm..fine."she smiled as her cheeks became wet with tears.
" You should...go now. I want to rest." She stated as her eyes became even more blurred with tears.
"But I want to stay." I whispered.
" You...know I can't sleep while you're staring at me like this." She lightly chuckled.
" Fine. I'll see you then?" I asked.
" Hmm." She mumbled.
Now both of us were waiting for me to step back and turn around but I couldn't. I just wanted our hands to be entangled forever. I love her this much.
" I'm closing my eyes. Once I open them, you should be gone." She looked at me for a few seconds as if memorizing my face and then closed her eyes.
I put her hand down and one last time memorizing her face too, I turned around.
" Dexter?" She called.
" Yeah?" I asked without turning around and I knew her eyes were closed too.
" Tell Seb, Samantha and Celeste I love them. Especially mom and dad."
" You can tell them once you get out of here."
" I will."
My hand grabbed the door handle. But before opening the door she called again.
" I'll love you forever."
" I'll love you too, Sy." I choked.