Decree of Hope

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I threw the phone down. I was through with him. I’d probably never get over him, but I was done with him all the same. I didn’t need another guy that didn’t have time for me.

My heart was in shreds. I couldn’t breathe, and hot tears rolled down my cheeks. One good thing came out of the time we’d spent together. Abe tried so hard to convince me of how cool I was that I began to believe it. I would never be able to take control of a situation the way Farrah did, or tell someone to go to hell quite the way Mirriam could, or even just look cool doing what someone else told me to the way Lacey did, but I was still cool. I made ensembles people more than once tried to buy out of things other people threw away. I brought my chemistry grade up so fast. I was too cool for a guy that didn’t have time for me, whether I loved him or not.

Self-esteem. No one could ever take that away from me. Not even him, so I was done. He tried to call a couple more times, and not picking up was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, but I did it.

I spent the rest of the weekend crying in my bed, so when the cops didn’t call again, I was relieved. Maybe, they had finally realized I had no idea what they wanted, didn’t do anything wrong, and didn’t know anything about anything. Either way, I was glad I didn’t have to deal with them again.

Monday morning I got up and plastered make up over my face, trying to hide the redness and swelling. I could tell by the stares I got when I entered the school building it hadn’t worked. But it was okay. This was the last day. The last and then it was over. I did fill out the UNT application that Abe brought me. Maybe, if I avoided him for a few weeks he’d take the hint and apply somewhere more suitable for a pre-med genius. I didn’t know what I’d do if I had to see him at school.

The final for government was the group project. I had completed our project a week earlier, and we delivered it like it was a group project on Friday. Today most people planned to sleep through the final presentations. Caleb and Mirriam were up first. He was still limping from the car wreck, and she helped him to the podium. They held hands as they presented, and they were finishing each other’s sentences. It was disgustingly cute. Neither one of them looked concerned that she was about to marry someone else. Maybe, Abe couldn’t arrange it. When Caleb said he spent some time with an Iraqi girl and it changed his whole world, I burst into tears because that was exactly what had happened to me. Farrah and Lacey both turned to eye me. I knew they thought I was crying over Caleb, and as ironic as it was, that saved me from having to talk about the truth.

Mirriam and Caleb finished their presentation like they never noticed me, but they probably had. At one point, everyone turned to look at me. As they sat down and the next group stood, I slipped out of the room and ran to the bathroom.

I took out my phone. I was going to listen to his last voicemail one more time. Hearing his voice would be enough. It would get me through the day. I could pretend none of this had happened. Yeah, right. I only sobbed harder. But I had a new text. “Kailee, I promise once all of this is over, I’ll make things right with you.”

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