I suppose I should explain what happened after he refrained me from relinquishing myself to him. With all honesty nothing changed except for the fact that my respect for him grew cosmically and things didn’t become awkward for the two of us. In fact, after spending three days in the resort he invited me to stay in their house for three more days. It’s like my vacay extension
On my second morning waking up in his bed I didn’t find him by my side. I wandered through the hallway, opening every door that I’m passing by, in hope that I could find him in one of the rooms I set my foot in but I didn’t. So I decided to go down and make myself some breakfast but when I set my eyes on the kitchen I saw him there preparing something that seemed delicious by the smell of it. He hasn’t still realized that I’m already awake and standing right behind him so I decided to take him by surprise. I didn’t try to scare him by screaming out loud or some sort of thing. Instead, I walked to him slowly then I gave him the most gentle hug that I could ever give to someone. It’s not like when I kiss him but it’s more than enough to show how great my affection to him really is. He held my hand briefly as he whispered gently “Good morning Ty.”
I waited for a few seconds before I released him from my embrace and finally replied to what he said “Good morning Jack. Need any help?”
“No, I’m good. Just take a seat on that spot and I’ll be there in just a few minutes.”
I sat at the right side of the dining table and I noticed that there’s lots of food that is served right before me. When Jack finally arrived he sat right next to me and
I couldn’t desist from asking him “What’s all the food for? Are we celebrating something?”
“What?! You forgot?” he looked at me disappointedly but I really couldn’t think of anything that we’re going to celebrate this day.
“Forgot what?!” he looked me in the eye so seriously for seconds then his eyes burst to tears out of laughing.
“I’m just kidding. I’m sorry for starting your day in jest. I really didn’t plan this out. Believe me.”
“Yeah right... let’s just eat. I’m starving.”
While we’re eating, I keep on catching Jack’s glaring eyes gazing at me from time to time. It’s hard to eat in peace especially when someone is watching you like a creep.
“What is it? You look like you’re eating me instead of the food that’s on your plate.”
“Pardon my impertinent self but I just want to say you look alluring.” —he answered in a flirtatious way then his personality quickly shifted from being a romantic person to a hysterically funny kind. He treated me as if I’m his son who he’s about to feed here comes the choo-choo train! Open wide Ty! as he slipped a spoonful of hot soup to my mouth after he blew it. I love it when he acts foolish around me. And even though he’s that way sometimes, I’m still captivated by how he makes me feel; like in seventh heaven, always so buoyant and excited.
After eating, I wiped the table clean while he did the dishes then afterwards we headed to the living room to watch some movies. We spent hours of laying on their couch wrapped around with a blanket. By 4:37pm Cameron got back home and he approached us bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. When he finally reached us he shouted “Congrats Jack!”
“I passed?!” he asked like he’s wanting more assurance that what his dad said is really true.
“Doubtlessly, son. I was right, wasn’t I? Told you, you’ll pass it. I never doubted your knowledge, just a bit rusty but Tyler here,” he then pointed his finger right at me—“helped you a lot to make your brain work again.”
“I owe everything to you, Tyler. Thank you.”
I’m completely baffled for the reason that I haven’t got the slightest idea of what they’re talking about—“What are you talking about? You passed what?”
Jack seemed excited to enlighten me about something he really wanted to share with me but he waited until he made sure that he passed this something that he and his dad were talking about.
He faced towards me then he held my hands softly “Remember those days when you threw yourself out to your books to study for your biology class? The time when we didn’t see each other for weeks?”
“Yeah. I do remember those days. What about it?”
“I actually did the same thing. I worked hard then I gave it a shot. I mean...”
He’s too exuberant to continue his reasoning, hence Cameron answered for him “He took the entrance exam to Massachusetts Institute of Technology through online exams and when they asked for any contact details of Jack, he gave them my email instead because he’s too nervous to look at the results himself.”
I’m really happy for him but at the same time I felt my heart was torn in pieces because I couldn’t handle the fact that he’ll be gone for a long time and I won’t be able to see him. Just thinking about it makes my soul shed tears. For all we know, nothing is certain. Now he’s here and our love for each other isn’t guaranteed to last forever; what more if he takes off to some place far away from me.
“When are you leaving?” I asked him with a faint voice because I feel my body as it aches with repressed sadness.
He noticed how my mood changed and he knew exactly what I was feeling so he hid the excitement he has waited for a very long time to finally show, then he answered me in a very low-spirited way
“In two weeks, maybe. There’s a lot to take care of, a place where I should stay while I’m there for instance. I need be there and get settled up before classes start.”
“Right...”—there’s really nothing more to add because I don’t know how to take things suitably and I also don’t want to be the antagonist in this story. I know that if I stop him from going I’d be selfish and probably the most stupid person in the world. I mean, who does that? Stopping someone you love from grasping and laying hold of their dreams.
We sat there for minutes while the silence kills us until my mom called me. I stood by the doorway while speaking with her. She actually called just to ask how we were doing but when I returned to them I said that my mom asked me to come home because my aunt. Helen arrived yesterday and said that she wanted to see me. It was really dumb, I know. But I couldn’t think of anything else. All I know is that I need to be alone and that I need time to accept how things would unravel for the two of us. It’s painful to fathom that someone who feels like home will soon bow out of your life.
I stayed at home for days without going out of my room. My mom just brings some food to me but I barely touch it. Day by day I keep on hearing someone ringing our doorbell then my mom comes knocking at my door but I never answered. I know it’s Jack. But I don’t know how to face him, I have no clue of what I should tell him why I took off, that’s why I never came down to talk to him.
On Saturday evening I decided to go downstairs because I know that my parents have gone out to pick up some supplies from Fortinos. But when I came down, I found them sitting in the living room conferring with Jack. I tried to conceal myself and hearken to what they’re talking about but Jack caught sight of me so I immediately headed to my room. Few minutes had gone by and I was relieved because he didn’t follow me and forced me into a conversation I’m probably not yet ready to have. As soon as Jack left the house my mom headed towards my room to speak with me. I can see in her eyes how sorry she feels but I don’t know if it was for me or for Jack; probably for the both of us.
“He knows that you’re not yet ready to face him.” She sat beside me on my bed then she laid her hand on my lap—“He just wanted me to relay his message to you.”
"Please let him know that I still love him. No matter what happens, no matter where I go, I'll always think about him. Even if I go somewhere, some place he's unreachable, I'll never forget his touch and the way he loved me. Nothing will ever matter to me more than him. He's the only thing that keeps me on going. Even after years I know that my love for him will stay and that I'll always live for him."
I sat there crying and there’s nothing I can do to stop my tears from falling. I wish I was the one who heard those words firsthand instead of hearing it from my mom.
“Look at me Tyler.” Even though I resist to look at her eyes, she forced me to—“You're lucky to have someone that makes saying goodbye so hard and that kind of person only comes so often in your life. Be sure to make the right decision whether you let go of him or keep him. I know it’s hard for you but you have to think about the world he also has other than the world that the two of you created for each other. He has a life aside from the one the two of you shares. Right now I need you to make a decision. What’s it gonna be Tyler?”
Suddenly I have the impulse to come running at him. Everything’s blurry and all I know is that I want to be with him. I grabbed the bike from our garage, the one I never ridden on since I started high school. Even though it was rusty I didn’t care. I know that if that’s what I used and if Jack is still somewhere along the pavements, I could get to him faster. But I couldn’t find him so I decided to head to his house. It wasn’t easy to go to him since rain started pouring down from the sky, it’s like the heaven is crying together with me. The pedals started to act up but I didn’t stop paddling because my will to find him is so strong that I didn’t notice how tired I am. When I arrived by their doorway I noticed that their car was gone so I assumed that Mr. Hunter wasn't at home. I knocked then Jack opened the door. He looked surprised because he never expected me to show up, especially because he still thinks that I’m in no shape to finally speak with him.
“Hey. Come in...”
When I came in, he demanded me to take a seat at the living room as he grabbed some water for me to drink and a towel that I can use to dry myself up. He waited for me to calm myself down before he asked “What are you doing here?”
“To tell you that you should go. I’m here to support you. If that’s really your dream then who am I to stop you from achieving it? I was scared and I was selfish to think of ways to convince you to stay. I’m sorry. I was worried because it could only take a single day for your love to change.”
“Remember what I told you before? Let's be the kind of people who're fearful of a lot of things. We can do that now. I’m also scared that I’m leaving for college. But I’m not scared that your love for me will vanish because I’m not by your side but I’m scared because I feel like you don’t trust me enough and that chasing after my dreams could be the reason for our rupture. And Tyler, I don’t want to go anywhere else if I have no one to come back to." he then faced towards me as he held my hand—"By chance, do you want to come with me? You know you can always do that, right?”
“As much as I want to but I also have responsibilities here that I can’t just leave anytime that I want. Besides, my dreams can’t be found in some place that you are going to, Jack. It’s always been here.”
He stood up and walked towards his room right after he looked me in the eyes. I could tell that he’s inviting me there. I sat next to him and murmured “I’ll miss you”
“I’ll never stop loving you, Tyler.”—tears started to roll down from his eyes then he held my face, locked his gaze to my lips as he kissed it gently. I feel safe and vulnerable whenever he's touching me. He slowly took my shirt off and I could feel our chest as it press together, we have never been this close to the point I can feel his sweat as our figure collided and out of thin air I uttered words that are tempting and lustful at the same time before he do me—my body is all yours, do anything as you please with it. He pinned me against his bed as his lips travelled to my neck then he sucked it hard leaving a red mark. Subsequently he licked it and I felt a tingling sensation as his tongue continued to make its way down to my stomach and simultaneously unzipping my pants. I wanted to tell him how long I’ve been waiting for this to happen but my mind went blind the moment I felt something that I own is in his mouth and I could feel his tongue as it swirls around it. It didn't take long before I got coated with his glistering warm saliva. I groaned in pleasure as he continued to press his tongue flat along the shaft together with his lips wrapping around it. Everything became blurry and I couldn’t think straight. All I can do and think at that moment is to just moan and feel every inch of my body craving for his touch.
What happened that night was truly remarkable and I know that it will always be embedded in my heart and deep within my soul because at that very night I chose to let him go because I knew that he wouldn’t be able to run away and chase after his dreams if I didn't do so. It wasn’t easy because I spent the best part of my life with him but I still managed to do the right thing, to do what’s best for him.