I could hear the peaceful rhythm of my beating heart. After weeks of panic and fear, for this small moment I felt at peace. Calmness enveloped my entire body, it was still a bit sore and exhausted but it was better now. I looked at the water surrounding me, I've always loved being underwater. There was just a certain peace to it. There was no noise, no one else around just me. I adored it.
I continued effortlessly swimming under the water. Ever since I stubbled upon this in door pool I haven't been able to leave. I didn't have any bathing suit so I just grabbed a sport bra and decided it was good enough. I was only in a sport bra and a panty. One of the maids told me no one came here anyways so I figured why not. I think this was greatest part of this house.
I've been here for more than four weeks and I still didn't know the whole house. I didn't want to explore it alone in the fear of running into a cupboard full of heads or something. I know that doesn't make sense but somehow my mind insists on just being stuck on it. I don't know why but I just feel like it's something Sylas would have.
After my throat was a little bit better after about two weeks, he left for two weeks. Before he left he took care of me like he wasn't the one that hurt me in the first place, he was still a man who was very much in need of a mental Asylum.
The weeks before he left were kind of tough because I thought at any moment I would probably say something 'disrespectful' to him, I mean he does kill people so it's kind of hard to be around him because of my distaste in that. I thought being quiet was the right decision but he didn't seem to like that. I didn't know what to do and he found my fear amusing. I just decided not to think of him as a murderer when he was around and that honestly helped a lot.
I had no choice but to force myself to just imagine that the past weeks when I found out about his occupation didn't happen. It was hard. But everything was kind of better now. After he came back I wasn't holding my breath as much anymore. When he was away he still called atleast twice a day asking if I was okay or If I had eaten yet. He was a very confusing man. It was like nothing happened. I don't think he was acting like nothing happened I believe he sees no wrong in his actions.
I think of everything that has happened to me in the past two months what I was angry at more than anything was my body. This was the first time this has ever happened to me. I was new to all this. Everytime he touches my body I just melt. When Sylas came back he couldn't keep his hands to himself. It was like he was gone and hadn't seen me for decades or something. My body betrayed me in ways I've never even thought about.
Sylas came back three days ago any chance he got he would fuck me until I passed out from tiredness and pleasure, my eyes literally just shut from so much exhaustion. I can't even move, I just sleep. He seemed to love that and the power he had over my body. I slept through this morning and only woke up in the afternoon today. And upon stumbling over this pool after taking a long bath soaking my sore body, I've been here ever since. I thinks it's been hours.
I finally swimmed up needing to breathe. I wiped the water from my face and I greedily took in air. Before I dove in the pool I knew I would probably regret getting in the pool without a cap on but I just said screw it at the time the water really looked inviting and now I kinda wish I hadn't because my hair was now something else. My mother would kill me. My mother, I kind of miss our fights.
I almost died of a heart attack when I realized a figure standing not far from me by the pool with his hands in his pockets. I blinked all the water away while swimming back just in case.
"You almost gave me a heart attack." I said with my hand over my chest.
"How long have you been in here?" he questioned, I noticed his tie was off and the two top buttons of his shirt were undone. His shirt was rolled up his sleeves he looked calm. I figured he probably came back a while ago.
"I'm not really sure. " I said still floating around. For some reason my heart was pounding in my chest at the sight of him.
"Why are you standing there creepily." I asked.
"I really love the view." he said still looking at me. He didn't seem moved by my statement.
"Come on I made us dinner." he said walking closer to the edge where I was. I totally understand how traumatizing and scary everything is. But his cooking was like the little light in this dark place I really loved his food. And I hated cooking or anything to do with the kitchen so if he didn't fuck up everything by showing me his true colours we would have had a great thing going.
"I don't want to eat." I was really hungry. I've been in here for hours and I haven't eaten the whole day but I wasn't about to tell him that.
"Are you still mad?"
"You ripped my panties again so I can't eat and I'm not getting out of here."
"Mäuschen would you like me to get you out." he said more than ask, I don't think he was joking, I couldn't tell with him.
"You ripped my panties."he seriously had a problem. The person who packed a few of my clothes for me only packed six pairs of panties and Sylas has destroyed four in total. I didn't know what was wrong with him, neither did I want to know. He said he would have someone bring me new clothes and they did but not panties, a few bras but no panties and a lot of clothes.
"You don't need them."
"Come here." he said, everytime he says that my breathing picks up. I slowly made my way out off the pool I watched his eyes slowly trail over my body causing goosebumps to form all over my body. I made my way to him and he immediately wrapped his hand around me kissing the air out of my lungs.
"I'll buy you new dres- "
"No you won't- wait Sylas you are suppose to say panties firstly because this is about ripped panties and I only have two pairs left you didn't exactly let me get my clothes and secondly you keep on ripping them." a smile made its way onto his face when I mentioned having only two pairs left. I hated to admit it but his smile was annoyingly breathtaking. It just made me mad. I looked at his chest instead.
"That would be lying to you." he simply said. I looked up at him, not believing what he was saying.
"I-Were you going to say dresses? You really were going with dresses. Sylas. You are not helping in anyway." I said.
"Nothing or dresses."
"That's not fair."
"It doesn't change your options."
"You can't do that!" I said trying to move away from his grip but he didn't budge. I simply just looked away from him, folding my arms. He was being unbelievable.
"Would you like some food? " he asked kissing my temple. I hated how this felt like before, before everything when our relationship was still amazing. Even though I was terrible at conflict and arguments I always got what I wanted when it came to him but I had a feeling he wasn't budging this time. I would just have to find another way then.
"No." I said. I was so hungry. I felt his stare on me. Making me sigh. My stomach wasn't the one making me mad.
"Yes please." I yelped trying to grab the towel as he picked me up into his arms bridal style. I managed to grab the towel and cover myself. I was mad at him but I wasn't going to complain about being carried. I should probably avoid walking at all costs.
"Just because it feels like you won this argument doesn't mean you did. This isn't over yet."
"Whatever you want Mäuschen." he said.
"You know I have to shower first right." I said as we entered the house.
"Yes that's where we are going."
"Sylas don't you get tired? "I genuinely asked. He should be tired by now we have been going at it for days straight.
"I will never get tired of you." he said leading me to his room that I was currently sharing with him not by choice. When I was kidnapped and brought here I did suggest getting another room but he quickly ended that discussion. I didn't really think it would work but it was worth a shot.
My hands played with the diamond necklace around my neck that Sylas gave me when he came back from his business trip. My sight moved to the flowers not far from us that he also gave me along with the necklace. I looked at the food on the plate I was almost done, I was really hungry but my mind seemed to stray away every now and then.
No matter how much I told my mind how crazy Sylas was, I couldn't help but think of the past. I wonder what happened to that. I thought there was actually something between us. I've never really been one to attract crazy guys all the guys I've dated before were good guys. That was was my type I've never thought a day in my life I would come to this.
I also angry at him for ruining what he had, I know it sounds pretty absurd knowing who he is but I felt robbed of my feelings.
"I can't help but think it could have been so different. Honestly, I saw a future with you. " we were currently eating dinner, the dinner was amazing as always. Sylas sat at the head of the table and I sat on his right hand side.
"Your future is still with me."
"You don't think any of that sounds wrong." I still didn't understand the depth of this man's delusion.
"What happened? "I asked, I was genuinely curious.
"My patience ran out. " At that alone I kept quiet. My mind was running wild with thoughts and memories. I was trying to piece everything together for myself but it wasn't working.
"My parents will be here in a few days." he said. In the past I was nervous of meeting his parents when they were mentioned but now I didn't know how to feel. Aside from feeling as if this was too much. We were moving too fast.
"I told my mother I was going to marry you when Kairo brought it up and she hasn't stopped calling eversince." he said making me Choke on my water.
"D-Don't you think we need to - I - . I know I was kidnapped and everything, so asking this may be a little bit too late but can we please just stop for a minute." I said not being able to fully process his words. The fact that he just said that so casually make my heart race. I didn't like how he sounded like his mind was already made up. I felt like I had no choice in this.
"What's wrong Mäuschen?"
"Sylas Marriage is something else. You can't do that to me." I said getting serious this wasn't funny anymore. Not that it was to begin with but along the way I had found amusement in how ridiculous my life had took a turn for.
"You don't want to marry me?"he questioned looking into my glossy brown eyes. There was that look in his eyes. I felt as if my breath was cold as I tried to remember how to breath again. I knew this wasn't a question and if it was, there was only one answer to it.
"Please can we not."
"Please can we not what?"he asked taking a sip of his scotch. At this moment I wanted more than anything to just run and never turn back.
"Can we please not speak about this." I said trying to keep my voice steady with the beat of my racing heart flooding my ears.
"Answer the question." he said.
"I mean I do - but can we just please take things slowly. There is no need to rush." I said placing my hand over his. I felt so overwhelmed.
"I have been taking things slow. I've wanted to ask you to marry me after the first month I met you. You were all I could think about and you are still all I think about." he said as he cut into his meat before popping it into his mouth. Things seemed to be escalating very quickly.
"I sometimes wonder what would have happened, I can't help but think maybe if I had refused to go with you that day and you didn't brutally murder that man in front of me I wouldn't be here. You would still be the charming man I knew and I wouldn't be kidnapped." I said needed to stop thinking about everything.
"Ignorance is bliss." he said chuckling.
"If it makes you feel any better Mäuschen you would still be here. I tried doing everything the normal way but you refused to move in with me so I was going to take you." he said.
"So why did you ask if you weren't going to listen to me anyways?"
"I didn't want you to think I didn't give you a choice at first."
"What happened to that?"
"That was bound to crash and burn. I had given you enough time. My patience ran out."
"Would you rather I lie to you?" he asked looking at me.
"No." I said avoiding his eyes as I looked at anything but him.
This was the side of him that I only had glimpses of but it didn't come off so strong at first. This is exactly what I meant. I didn't know how much of this I had to bear I was already internally freaking out at this marriage thing. Actually beyond freaking out.
I don't know why but I thought when he came back he would maybe come back to his senses. It was one of the things I now hated about myself. Always having hope, something my father taught me. There is light at the end of the tunnel he would always say but these day I was questioning whether if that was light or a train.
I seemed to be forgetting who he is even after the gun incident. That should have been enough but we also had history, history that I needed to get over. All I could think about now was screw that patience, I needed a new plan and I needed it now.