The German's Obsession

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Chapter 16

'The next time you hesitate I will put a bullet through you.' was the last thing I heard. The last thing that rang through my head as my world turned dark.

When I woke up again I was in bed naked, the blood cleaned free from my legs and bum. The pain was still as unbearable as before. Half of my body was on top of him, my head on his chest with his arm around me. Even though I woke up a while ago and darkness surrounded us it was at night, I knew Sylas was awake. I didn't need to feel or see him move to know that he was awake, I could feel it even with his leveled breathing.

I knew that he felt the hot tears flooding his chest from my sore eyes. I knew that he felt the tremble of my body and the shake of my chest. I silently cried. Not only from the unbearable pain from my bum but because I didn't understand what I did wrong. Was this my life now, just being oblivious to when he would strike again. I did everything his way, I didn't want to end up hurt.

I wouldn't lie and say I didn't think of walking out with his mother, one wouldn't believe how many times I have dreamed and wished for escape. I held my breath when I felt his hand slightly tighten around my waist, but not too tightly as to hurt me just tight enough as if he didn't want me to move. My heart started racing at his slight movement. I closed my eyes calming myself.

"I swear I wasn't going to leave with her, I didn't even know that she was coming." I whispered closing my eyes once again. They felt heavy. I feared that he wasn't done with me, I did pass out in the middle of his lashes. I feared he would continue where he left off. Living in fear was cruel, it was something I would never wish on anyone not even on my enemies.

I felt as if it was so important that Sylas knows that I had no part in this because I didn't know what he was thinking. I didn't want to go through what I went through again. I don't think I could handle it. I was so scared of what was going through his head.

"I know." he replied his voice deep and rough. There was no movement from his body.

"I wasn't going to go with her." I slowly said wanting him to know that, I needed to say it with Sylas everything could turn bloody in a matter of seconds. The last thing I needed or wanted was him thinking I wanted to go with her, even though that was the case. With everything in me but I knew I couldn't. He didn't need to know that. It would be better for me if he didn't know what I truly wanted to do at that moment.

"You would have never left the gates even if you did choose her." he stated. I have thought about what would have happened if I had picked a different path. Even with everything I couldn't help but think. Those thoughts and the regret of how I may have had a chance and how I was too much of coward to take it washed over me. It had been weighing heavily on my mind the moment she walked out the door. Hearing Sylas say that made me thankful I chose to stay with him.

What I didn't understand through all of this was why he hurt me. I did everything he asked. I chose him at the chance of my freedom. I didn't understand what I did to piss him off.

"Sylas I chose you, I don't understand why you hurt me when I chose you." the lump in my throat was getting bigger by the second. I wanted to move away from him but I was too scared too.

"You hesitated." he started now slowly tracing his fingers over my painful bum, it felt like it was on fire. I didn't understand the last thing he had said to me. I thought he couldn't possibly hurt me because I hesitated, it was human nature what did he think I would do. I didn't want to be here so any chance to be away from him would seem admirable to me. I was bound to hesitate. I was fighting two sides of myself. Two very convincing sides.

"Do you understand what will happen to you the next time I tell you to do something and you hesitate?" he asked his voice deep and low. I wish his mother and I could have somehow made it, at least now I knew she was speaking the truth before. I nodded my head, the lump in my throat too big to speak.

I whimpered bitting my bottom lip as tears rushed down my face when I felt a slap on my already painful butt, I felt like screaming. I knew my bottom lip would be bruised by morning, I felt as If if I let it go I would burst. The pain of his slap lingered as my body froze. He didn't need to speak. I knew why.

"Yes I understand." I whispered my body frozen in his arms.

"Good, now sleep." he said. It was easy for him to say. I was in so much of pain. I couldn't believe I had actually dated him, that I had actually felt things for him. He was so cruel. How did I not see, to be fair Sylas has never truly made me doubt him. Sure, he may have raised a few red flags during our first encounter but I was drunk and I thought he just had a tint of dark humor.

After the bar everything went smoothly. We never got into arguments because most of the time Sylas would say I'm right when I would start arguing over silly things. At first it worried me how amazing he was with me. I didn't blame myself for worrying there were a lot of men putting up facades out here but Sylas was different. I only got to see his angry 'my way or my way' side when it was arguments concerning me and us.

He just didn't seem to care about the silly little arguments. The only time our arguments ever got serious was when he would speak about me moving in and we only argued about it twice, I guess twice was more than enough for him. To be fair he did tell me he wouldn't ask three times and I thought he was joking. I think I was kind of terrible at reading people, actually at reading him.

Either way, that Sylas was an amazing boyfriend well with kinks here and there, for starters he was madly possessive but I kinda liked that side of him, it turned me on... before. I was also possessive but I think Sylas changed the meaning of the word. Clearly he now took that to another level. I don't know what changed, I think he was just always like this but Sylas wasn't one to pretend ever. So I don't understand what happened to the other part of him.

I had strongly went over the idea of him pretending to be that man but it didn't seem right I didn't know what to think anymore. I should have left him when he bought that restaurant for me just because I said I like the golden theme and designs they had, it was a fancy restaurant and we had only been there once. I knew he was intense but I didn't expect that. He was just full of surprises.

At times even when he would look at me I would find myself breathless. In his eyes I felt like I was everything to him, he made me feel that way. That's what he had told me once, I remember not knowing what to say but not freaked out because I had come to learn how blunt and intense he was. There was always a way that he would look at me at times that had butterflies shooting through my stomach and a smile on my face that I couldn't help.

Now, now I doubted it would do the same.

...


There was so much I wanted to say. My chest felt tight, I wanted to scream, cry and hurt him. I quietly watched his muscled back as he headed into the walk in closet with only a towel around his waist. I was pretending to be asleep I didn't want to talk or acknowledge him. It's been three days since the incident and Sylas has been Sylas.

I still didn't understand how he could be like this. It is very hard for me to abandon my teachings and beliefs that there is some good in everyone but Sylas was making me question that everyday. I didn't understand nor believe how a person could be so evil. It didn't make sense to me.

Above every other emotion I felt hurt. Very hurt. My mind felt heavy so did my body. I felt like giving up on everything. Sylas can be so confusing it made my heart hurt. When he looks at me at times, he looks at me like I'm the centre of his world but then when he decides he wants to hurt me his eyes are something else.

"I know you are awake." he said putting on his shirt his muscles flexing on accord. I froze slowly properly opening my eyes as I sat up looking at him no longer peaking at him.

"Why are you so cruel so me?" I started, staring at my hands. I couldn't look at him. Not right now.

"I remember a time when you would do anything for me." I dryly chuckled tears rolling down my cheeks. I remember a time when I would get him to do almost anything for me. Currently that was all I could think about.

The tears came stronger at the memory of our relationship. I remember asking him to try street food, a brutwurst. Of course I had figured the way Sylas carries himself he had never had a taste of street food, at a point I didn't even think that he took walks on the street before me. I liked taking walks and he didn't want me walking around alone without him. I also really enjoyed taking walks with him, at first he was so rigid and stoic but as time went on he became normal - ish. Well as normal Sylas can get.

I could tell most of the time when he did something for the first time with me. I found it cute and intriguing. Some things just looked weird being done by him. His cars, house, suits and just him screamed elegance. It was funny watching his face change when he had the first bite. I couldn't even be that mad at him when he threw it away and mine in the process. It was quite funny as he spoke about my health and continued lecturing me on taking care of myself. He did make it up to me.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the memory. I could never truly stay mad at him for long. Ironically I kind of missed those days.

"I remember a time when my smile meant something to you. When my happiness meant something to you. I don't think you have ever lied to me but I'm starting to question that." his stare didn't stagger as he put on his suit jacket before sliding his hands into his pockets. I looked at him, really looked at him. I felt so vulnerable but I didn't care I had a feeling we had a life time together and I had no say in that.

"You haven't smiled or laughed in five days. I notice and see everything about you. When you are obsessed with something it tends to over power ever other thought in your mind." he said tying his tie, his focus on me. He caught me off guard.

"I don't like seeing you cry or sad but if you keep on playing with your life, I might just end up taking it." he said not moving an inch, his eyes darker.

"I've never lied to you, remember when I told you that your smile is breathtaking?"

"Yes." I didn't recognize my own voice at this moment.

"I wasn't lying. Everything about you to me is perfect. The first time you smiled at me at that restaurant while drinking irresponsibly alone with all kinds of people around you. Your smile is the reason I didn't drag you out of there screaming and kicking. I wanted to try and be normal for you. Your innocent was baffling and angering at the same time."

"Why did you want to drag me out?" I asked needing him to elaborate. That seemed to be one of the things he said I was stuck on.

"You were heavily drinking alone putting your life in danger. You don't know the kind of crazy people surrounding you yet you had the audacity to let your guard down putting yourself in danger." he said. I looked at him for a second before I started chuckling with tears trailing down my eyes.

"B-but you were the monster."

"I know. Exactly my point." he said coming closer. I couldn't help but chuckle in disbelief even though he looked serious.

"Sylas." I started. He didn't answer, he just raised a brow looking at me as if telling me to go on.

"I don't mean to offend you in anyway b-but do you maybe sometimes hear voices in your head-?"

"-It's nothing to be ashamed of, all of us are speacial in different ways."

"Yes." he said. When I asked the question I didn't know what to expect but his answer had my skin crawling.

"Y-yes. Oh - okay that's - that's Uhm. Okay - what do they say, the voices. What do the voices say?" my palms were sweaty as I continuously rubbed them on my thighs.

"Alot, sometimes we disagree with each other but most of the time we agree."

"D-disagree like w-what?"

"The first night I met you. I wanted to do more than just cut-"

"Sylas."

"Yes Mäuschen."

"You are scaring me." I whispered.

"You asked." he said a confusion taking over his features.

"I - I know but I -"

"Are you disturbed by what I am telling you Mäuschen?" he lightly asked as if a chuckle would follow but it never did.

"I-No-"

"Do you want to know what they are telling me now?" he asked taking a step closer his hands still in his pockets, instinctively I moved back a bit. I couldn't help it.

"No - what?"

"Come here and I will show you." he said.

"I-i didn't-" I couldn't help the fear drenching over me.

"Should I come get you?" he asked raising a brow. I wiped away my tears with my trembling hands looking at him.

"I'm sorry." I whispered I didn't know what for but I just prayed he would forgive me.

"I just wanted to kiss you. Why are you crying?"

"I - I'm scared."

"I just wanted to kiss my naive woman, why are you scared? " he asked chuckling. I paused looking at him before taking a pillow next to me without thinking and throwing it at him.

"That's not funny!" I exclaimed tears halfway down my face. His deep laughter was soothing in a way it shouldn't have been, it's been a while since I've heard it. This man was sick. He easily ducked the pillow before raising a brow at me his laughter dying down.

"Sorry." I whispered. Going back to my nervous state.

"Mäuschen why would think I hear voices in my head."

"Because - you are - you just concern me a lot at times." I was so happy I managed to clean up that sentence.

"Is this because I kill people?" he asked as if it was the most normal thing ever. I sniffed pausing for a second. How did he expect me to answer this.

"Wwhhha- N- yes, maybe. Just maybe a little. - yes." I said shrinking away at his eyes.

"Come here. And stop crying. " he commanded walking closer to the bed, I didn't hesitate. I didn't want to go through what I went through before. I held my breath when his hand came in contact with my cheek before kissing me. He then moved back looking at me, a look I couldn't decipher glowing in his eyes. Even though I didn't know what it was, it sent a chill down my spine. I didn't miss how he dropped our previous conversation.

"All mine." he whispered in his native tongue. I almost didn't catch it.

"Mäuschen I have no voices in my head telling me what to do, I take my own decisions no one is forcing me to do anything." he said. I weirdly wished he had voices because then maybe I could have convinced myself that it's not him it's the voices but now I know it's all him. I felt more troubled than I did when I thought he heard voices in his head.

"Sylas that wasn't funny. You have a terrible sense of humor." I said looking at him. He had a playful glint in his eyes which looked so foreign in his eyes.

"That's what you wanted to hear. Your innocence strongly amuses me." he said genuinely smiling. As much as he was the devil he was still the most beautiful monster creature I have ever seen. I paused for a second before recollecting my thoughts.

"What do you expect, the last time when you said you killed people for fun I thought you joking but look where we are."

"I wasn't joking about that. I was being honest. I would never lie to you." he said coming closer and before I knew it I was swooped up in his arms, my legs around him as he carried me in his arms as if I weighed nothing. I couldn't look away from hypnotizing eyes.

"I believe you still need maybe a little help." I softly said placing my hands around his neck, making him chuckle.

"You are all I need." he said his voice deep and husky. I closed my eyes taking in his scent that made me unable to breathe a few days ago.

Before I knew it his lips were against mine yet again and the kiss was getting heated as he tighten his hands around me. I couldn't take all of him right now my bum still hurt and I don't think I would be able to survive even a round with him.

"Where would you like to go today?"he said pulling back. I panted looking at him calming nerves.

"Don't you have work?"

"Work can wait, where will it be?" I looked at him skeptically. I haven't seen this side of him in a while and I didn't want it to fool me in anyway.

"Maybe we could do some skating." I whispered looking away from him, for some reason I felt he would say no and I dindnt want to look at him when his eyes were like this.

"Let's go." he said making me look up at him with my brows furrowed. I didn't understand, neither did I like him acting like this. I low-key wanted him to continue being a jerk because if he went back to his old self I felt it would be too hard for me. I hated being reminded our old memories I just wanted myself to accept that that was all dead.

If Sylas wanted to be charming he could be very charming and if he wanted to be the devil, he could very much be the devil. What ever he puts his mind to, he out did himself in every way. I by all means wanted to take a break from this house but I didn't necessarily want to go with. I had a bad feeling about this in my gut.

...

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