Losing hope

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Chapter 18 - I Bet My Life

(Another Her - Sam) Now...

So this is where he lives, or where he used to live before to come in our pack. I have to say this place is beautiful. He’s checking with Ryder if everything is okay. He’s only wearing a short and gosh he’s well built. I can help but check him out. My mate, a Leopard. He’s highly skilled for fighting and seeing protected this land was... wow. He’s so damn sexy.

Mate...” My wolf sighs in my head. We’re in the same state: upset that he got married to another woman but languishing for him. Missing him when he’s not close.

I follow Enzo and Ryder inside the house. They are in Daniel’s room and he’s defending Hope again... When he comes out of Daniel’s room, he doesn’t look surprised to see me here.

“Where is your room?” I inquire.

He points to the door opposite to Daniel’s room. Without waiting for him, I go in and smell it. I can smell only his scent. I walk in the dressing room to only find his clothes. So they didn’t share the same room.

“What are you looking for, mate?” He asks me.

“You didn’t share the same room?” I demand.

“With who?”

“Hope!” I retort with venom.

“We never did. why would we?”

“Because she was your wife!” I shout.

“We didn’t get married because of love. We were never lovers! We did what we needed to do to protect what we built and what we have.” He retorts.

“And the only solution was to get married to someone else than your mate!” I scoff.

“So this is why you spent the last 2months ignoring me! Do you know how is it difficult for me to keep my mouth shut about us? Seeing all those pups lusting at you! Still I did it because I respect you and because I know you don’t like werecats when actually the only problem if my fake marriage!” He shouts back.

“How can you speak about respect when you didn’t even wait for me. Not only you got married but you’re also raising a kid with her. I don’t care what you are but that I can’t forget and forgive.”

He sighs, defeated: ” I spent the last 2 months afraid that if you speak to me it would be for rejecting me for what I’m. I’m sorry I hurt you Bella. That was not the objective but I did what I had to do.”

“You said that like there was no other solution but marrying her was your choice. Hiding my nephew was your choice!”

“You’re right, those were my choices and don’t regret it because I know why I did it, why we did it.”

“You’re unbelievable!”

“And you’re like your brother too stubborn to even try to listen and to understand. You’re judging me without knowing me! Do you think that make you a better person than me! You’re the one who doesn’t want to give us a chance!” He exclaims. He leaves shutting the door violently.

A week has passed since our visit to Imladris and Enzo is totally ignoring me. He spent all his time with Daniel which is annoying Ryder. Right now, he’s training alone. He’s always waiting for Daniel’s naps to go train. Well alone... There are a lot of she-wolves watching him, lusting at him. My wolf is so annoyed. They didn’t even hide their interest in him! I’ve the decency to look from far.

Mom comes to sit by my side: “He’s well built. Last time, I heard females fighting about who will have him first. Soon someone will try something with him.” She states.

I clench my jaws to hold a growl. ”Mine!" My wolf screams in my head, not helping at all.

“Why are you saying that to me?” I ask her, trying to hide my annoyance.

“Just to discuss... You know as the third in command and the female figure of the pack, you need to be aware of what is going on with your pack’s members.” She shrugs.

“Even gossip!?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Everything... I just want you to not be surprised if he decided to mate one of our females. They are all fond of the forbidden fruit, a hot werecat! And as he got rejected by his mate, he’s free to-”

“Is that what he says to everyone that he was rejected!” I cut her.

“No, he doesn’t say anything but the sadness in his eyes does for him.” She replies.

“You know.” I mumble.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She denies with a small smile.

“You want me to say it....” I mumble.

I groan: “Fine mama, he’s my mate.”

“See, that was not so difficult! You’re right I already knew. I don’t know why I haven’t claimed him yet. Why don’t you give him a chance, at least.”

“He got married and raised a kid with another woman. He hides your grandson, you should be upset too.” I hissed.

“Oh, I’m upset, believe me... But I also want you to be happy. This has nothing to do with you.” She replies calmly.

“It has everything to do with me!” I bark back.

“I was going to mate someone else when I met your father. I had an highschool lover that asked me to mate him and I was going to say yes. I was so young and stupid... Anyway your father was smart enough to forgive me and give me a chance. Every day, I’m thanking him because without him I would never have found my happiness. Just think about that.” She explains.

“Why did you never tell us that?” I ask.

“Because I was ashamed. Don’t make the mistake of missing it. Let the past in the past, like your father did for me.”

I nod: ” I will think about it. Thanks mama!”

“You really should state your claim on him before someone else does it.”

"Nobody will claim him then me!" My wolf growls.

After dinner, I decided to wait for Enzo in front of his room. He is followed by Wendy, one of our mateless members. And he looks annoyed.

“Thank you but I’m good.” He replies politely, trying to keep his distance.

“Are you sure? I can really make you feel better, to help you to-” She starts, touching him. I don't let her finish or I will lose it.

“He said no, leave now!” I boom. She trembles seeing me and runs away.

“What do you want Sam? Are you here to reject me?” He asks me. He looks stressed and tired. Why I didn’t see it before...

"Mate needs us." My wolf comments.

“No, I’m here to understand. I want you to explain to me why.” I state.

He sighs relieved:” Fine. But before we start to explain, we need to agree on how far you want to know. There are a lot of things you don’t know about what Hope really was and there are things you will not be able to share with anyone for now. Nobody.”

“I want to know everything.” I inquire.

He nods and opens his door. He lets me pass and close the door when we’re in. He sits on his bed and I come to sit on his right.

“Are you sure you will be able to keep it for yourself, Bella? By sharing everything with you, I give you my trust.” He asked me.

“I will keep it for myself and you can trust me, I’m your mate. I won’t betray you and I will only speak if the pack is in danger.”

“This is a thing, having Dan here could be dangerous if someone discovers he’s Hope’s real son. But you can’t share anything with anyone until your brother is ready to listen. The secrets I’m going to reveal are explosives for your pack.” He whispers.

“Okay...” I reply thinking.

“I really want to know everything but If it’s too much I will not keep it for myself. So to begin, tell me what you can tell me. I appreciate the fact you are ready to trust me but I'm not sure I'm ready.” I state after a few minutes.

“All right... Thank you for your honesty. Where do I start?” He mutters.

“Start from the beginning how you met her. But I don’t want you to explain it, I want you to show me.” I say, extending my hand.

“Alpha’s daughter.” I reply at his confused look.

“Not all the Alpha daughters inherit the Alpha gift to see other's souvenirs. That means you’re a strong one, Bella!” He beams, proud.

“Let’s do it!” He states, taking my hand.

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