Losing hope

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Chapter 19 - Black Sun

(Him - Ryder) A month later...

I was thinking Sam was on my side... But she announced Enzo as her mate almost a month ago and less then a week after they were marked and mated. Now every time we’re speaking about Hope she pushes me to understand... She also passed on the other side, as Daniel is getting close to her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them but at the same time I’m feeling so jealous. She, too, told me that to get closer to him, I need to show respect to Hope in front of him at least.

“So you’re on her side now!” I thunder.

“No, I’m not. I’m just trying to help you with your son. He’s so amazing! I just want you to build a relationship with him. He arrived 3 months ago and still nothing has changed. You clearly need to change your strategy.” She defends herself.

“Out! I don’t want your advice now!” I yell at her in my Alpha’s voice.

“Okay, Alpha. As you wish!” She booms before living.

I punch my desk. As if I need that now!

"Let’s go for a run, please!" My wolf begs and I agree right away I need to relieve the stress. It has been almost 2 hours that I’ve been running and I’m moving toward the training ground. I can feel something is going on there. When I arrive I can see a crowd around one of the fight rings. Enzo is here teaching my warriors.

"Who the hell he thinks he is!" My wolf growls while I’m losing it.

“What do you think you are doing!” I snap. My voice is deeper as my wolf is very present.

“I’m just helping with the training. There is nothing bad.” He exclaims.

“Nothing bad! You’re not part of my pack. What tells me you’re not doing that to spy on my pack!” I hiss.

“He’s my mate Ryder. Don’t you trust me? Do you think I will put our pack in danger.” Sam says trying to calm me but it’s not working.

“Since you mated him, I don’t know if I can still trust you.” I snap.

Enzo roars: ” Don’t you dare use that tone on her!”

“Everyone out! And the last one closes the door.” Ethan orders, in a few seconds everyone is out. Only him, Sam and Enzo stay.

I look at Ethan and Sam, disappointed: ” How could you let him do that!”

“He was just helping.” Ethan explains.

“He’s not part of the pack. He cannot know anything about our tactics. We don’t know what his intentions really are.” I fume. How can they be so naive!

“What if I want to be part of your pack? Will you have me?” Enzo requests.

“Over my dead body!” I bark.

Sam gasps: ” What about me? He’s my mate, I can’t live without him!”

“He’s the enemy. The one who plots against me with that bitch of Hope.” I rant.

“I hate you!” A small voice says and I feel small punches on my leg. I growl and push Daniel on the floor. He runs away crying. Ethan goes after him.

While roaring, Enzo grabs my throat and throws me away. His eyes are changing, his Leopard ready to come out.

“Don’t you dare hurt him ever again! Or I will kill you. I swore to his mother that I will keep him safe. So I will not hesitate if you make him cry again.” He barks.

“His mother was a bitch! Sooner or later he will realize and I will be glad to see you outside of his life.” I boom.

“Look man, I know right now you feel betray and angry but next time you disrespect Hope in front of me, I will kick you fucking Alpha’s ass. Being upset doesn’t give you a reason to treat your son like that. If you don’t change, we will be leaving.” He states calmly.

“How can you still defend her when she broke my heart!?” I hiss.

“You are joking right? You’re such a hypocrite! You broke her heart first you asshole!”

“Bullshit!” I deny.

“Oh but you did! The first time was when, after taking her virginity, she woke up alone in a hotel room with no words, no goodbyes, no explanations from you. The second time was when we came to inform you about the pregnancy and we had to listen to you explaining to some slut what a shitty mate you had! About how bad she was in bed and unable to satisfy you! How her death will be a relief the day it will come. The last straw was hearing you using the same sweet name that you called Hope while you fucked her. The pain and the shame on her face that day is something I will never forget. And then there was....Ahem… You broke her! Still she always spoke highly of you. She did what she did only because there were no other choice. I know she hid your son but getting stuck on that fact is doing nothing good. So get the fuck over it if not for you, for your son’s sake!” He rants.

He looks at Sam and sighs defeated: “I’m sorry Bella. I’m going for a run, I need it. Do you want to come?”

She shake her head.When I look at her she’s crying and now that I think more clearly I feel stupid and I know I went too far. I just took out my anger and frustration on him.

“Sam...” I stammer.

“Is that true?” She sobs.

“Let me explain.” I beg her.

“So it’s true. I can’t believe you!” She rants crying harder. I can feel how angry she is.

“For your information, if - when they leave I will follow them. You already condemned me to become a rogue anyway as you will not accept him into your pack.” She adds coldly.

“That’s not what I meant!” I protest.

“Save it for someone who wants to listen to you.” She retorts before leaving.

“Fuck!” I scream, passing my hands in my hair.

“You own a lot of apologies, son.” Dad says. He’s at the entry.

“I know! I went too far. I’m just angry and frustrated. I don’t know how to manage it...” I explain.

He nods, so I ask him: ” How much did you hear?”

“Almost everything, I was coming here when I saw all the warriors running away. You’re like your mother for that. When you’re angry you’re speaking before thinking and you end up alone with your regrets.”

“Can I ask you what happens when you conceived Dan?” He requests when I don’t reply.

“It was perfect, just pure bliss... Until she chose a fucking ring over our love. Over me! I just needed her to prove me I was important for her, that I mattered. I was ready to fight for her to become my Luna, to put her in first but she didn’t.”

“Ouch! Now I understand why you were so upset about losing that ring, I didn’t make any sense that you were so furious.” He comments.

“I was so blind by my love for her that I’ve never seen that she didn’t care about me! She wouldn’t have done any of this if she had ever loved me.”

Dad sighs: “Hope was, is still, a mystery. I don’t know why she did all what she did. She didn’t make any sense and she’s not here anymore to defend herself. But I saw how she was looking at you. She admired you and I’ve not doubts that she had feelings for you, strong ones.” He consoles me.

“That’s not helping.” I complain.

“I know but denying the facts we know are true is not helping either.” He retorts.

We stay without speaking for a few minutes.

I groan: ” I fucked up!”

“You did.” He agrees.

“Let them calm down and after that you will apologize.” He advises me.

“Do you think Sam was serious about leaving the pack?” I ask him.

“Yes she will. He makes her happy and is her world. So you better accept him because I don’t want to lose my daughter.” He replies.

“I know. I can’t lose her either.” I agree.

“Do you think it’s my fault that she didn’t tell me about Daniel?” I ask him.

“Did you really use the same nickname you used for her with a random woman?” He asks back instead of replying.

“I don’t remember but I was really angry with her s0 it’s more than possible.”

He nods and adds: “Maybe, I don’t know... For sure it didn’t help but my instincts are telling me there is more.”

I nod in agreement, there has to be more.

“Mom is going to kill me, isn’t she?” I mumble.

“Only if she learns what happened. So if I were you, I would apologize before Sam goes to see her.” He smirks.



I hope you’re all doing well! Starting now, I will update every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

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