Losing hope

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Chapter 29 - Don't You (Forget About Me)

(Him - Ryder) Now...

Roman told all the truth to Ethan, Ivy, Sin and Tessa 4 days ago. Stan was there too as he didn’t want to let his son face them alone. I let you imagine how they took it... Really bad. Actually Ivy kicked him out and he’s now staying with his father. After reading Hope’s diary, I’m not that angry with him anymore. I’m relieved my parents have stayed, their help is more than needed. Right now, they are speaking with Ivy, trying to convince to speak with Roman. Sin went to speak with him two times already and he already planned to go with my parents to meet my grandparents in 4 days.

I finished reading Hope’s diary in 2 days. I’ve never imagined her writing a diary but after finishing it I realized she had no-one. She was too scared to let anyone in and her relationship with her father was complex. He was the only one to know and he was always the bad cop, trying to protect her. She used to run outside our territory with Stan. Roman did have a lot of time because of his Beta’s duty.

The good thing is now that I know, everything changed with Dan as he doesn’t have anything to hide from me. He’s so open now. Each day we are getting closer and I love all the stories he’s telling about his mother even if I’m not sure everything is true. Some stories are too crazy.

At the same time, after reading her diary, I can tell you she was a troublemaker in High School. She didn’t like bullies at all and used to play pranks for them to be blamed for. She was supposed to be human and was really discrete, so nobody knew it was her. I also learned that some asshole used to bully Avery and Hope found a way to have him expelled for the rest of the year. Yeah she really had a great sense of justice but she also loved to execute justice herself.

I need to give her diary to Ethan and her family. They need to read it, it will explain so many things but I don’t know what to do about the... hot part. I don’t want them to read it, it’s too personal and she gave way too much details. My little pervert... She had me so hard. Stop thinking about that! At any moment, Dan will arrive so it’s not the right time to have a hard one when you don’t even have the time for a cold shower, an icy one!

If only I would have known when I was 18! The things we could have done... Maybe, If I had played on our physical attraction, things would have been different. Maybe she would have been more open up. At this time, I was trying to respect her and to give her the distance I thought she needed when actually she was only waiting for someone to break that distance even by force. I never imagined I could love her even more than I already love her but after each page I read or each story I learn, I can help to fall in Love even harder for her.

Dan is convinced that she’s still alive and to be honest I’m to0. In the end I don’t kn0w if she had accepted my rejection but I took back a few weeks after the attack. So even if she did, it would have been useless. So I would have felt it, her death, and I didn’t. But at the same time I don’t feel anything now and I’m trying... This is so frustrating! Is she still alive or is it just the fact I refuse to let her go?

Finally, Dan is here! I can smell him before he knocks at the door. I’m already behind the door but as I know he loves knocking, I wait. He’s with Enzo. Enzo, who is now part of the pack, we did his introduction ceremony yesterday. I can feel that some members are wary about him but with time it will be okay. I trust Hope and Sam’s judgment. Moreover my wolf trusts him even if he’s annoying sometimes. He looks at the diary.

“Are you going to give it to Hope’s family?” He asks.

“I have to but I don’t want them to read some pages…” I explain.

“Hmm, that much!” He smirks.

I blush and he teases: “Little Hope had a bigger imagination than I thought seeing your face!”

“Fuck off!” I mouth not wanted to say out loud in front of Dan. See, annoying.

“You can rip off those pages.” He proposes.

I scoff:”Hope would kill me.”

“You’re already dead from having read it!” He retorts.

Not wrong…” My wolf comments.

“By the way, I went to the shop to buy a toolbox - as Hope’s room still needs some fixing - and when I paid for it I touched the cashier’s hand and I saw Hope buying at least 20 hammers, why?” I ask him.

He smiles thinking about something: “Something about Avengers. I can just tell you your mate was crazy. Maybe I will show you one day…”

“And you should sleep in your room, in your pack territory. Hope will not be happy if she knew you were sleeping in her bed.”

I shrug: “I’m already dead for the diary so I have nothing else to lose.”

“He just missed mommy’s scent like me, be cool Unclezo!” Dan reprimands him, which is cute.

That’s my pup!” My wolf comments proudly.

Still your pack needs you and your best friend too. I know it’s a hard time for you but take some clothes from here and sleep in your pack house!” He mindlinks me.

I’m your Alpha so watch your tone with me!” I warn him.

And I’m your Gamma! It’s also my job to remind you what matters when your Beta can’t. Hope would’ve kicked both of your asses. You’re lucky it’s me! I’m new in this pack thing but I can feel how worried they are all. It’s overwhelming me.” He replies.


So annoying! I’m surprised by how easily he’s adapting to the pack, the mindlink and how sensitive he already is to the other pack members. But I will not tell him that, I don’t to see that fucking smirk on his face. The only he's struggling with is the authority... Why am I not surprised?

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