Losing hope

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Chapter 3 - Letters from the Sky

(Him - Ryder) - Now...

“You did it even when I asked you not to!” Ethan asks me. I don’t know if he’s happy or upset with me. And I'm not sure he knows himself.

“Yep, I did. And Louis will be here in a few minutes to let me, us, know what he found. So you’re staying or leaving?” I reply.

He shakes his head: ” I don’t know if I should hug you or kick your ass!”

So he doesn’t know what he’s feeling either.

“So?” I ask impatiently.

“Do you really have to ask? Don’t you know me? Of course I’m staying!” He puffs.

“When will he be here?” He asks impatiently.

Before I’m going to reply, someone knocks at the door. Speaking of the devil...

“Come in!” I order Louis.

“Alpha Ryder, Beta Ethan, it’s nice to see you again.” Louis says, bowing his head.

Louis is a lone wolf. He doesn’t belong to a pack but he’s a well known tracker/private investigator in our world. He’s welcome in many packs including mine. This is why he’s not a simple rogue but a lone wolf. Which is rare. Hopefully Hope is also a lone wolf too somewhere.

"She has never shifted so hypothetically she can’t be a lone wolf, neither a rogue." My wolf comments.

“L0uis! It’s nice to see you, my friend!” I tell him.

“It’s nice to see you too!” He replies smiling.

“Stop with your small talk! Did you find her?” Ethan asks. He really needs to learn patience!

“Did I already fail once?” Louis asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course I found her! Hope Volchitsa, yes she took your grandmother’s family name. She lived in Slovenia with a small mixed community of shifters, rogues, witches and vampires. She got married 4 years ago and they adopted a boy.”

This is too much for me and my wolf. I can’t listen anymore so I’m living to go for a run. How could she move on? How could she forget me?! I’m so upset! Furious, even. How could she!

“Why are you speaking in the past?” I hear Ethan asked him.

Louis sighs: ” Because she died 2 months ago.”

Those last words, stop me and make me go back to my office.

“What?” Ethan says making the chair where he was sitting fall when he got up.

“How?” I ask.

“I’m not sure. It was disguised as a car accident but it’s obvious that it was not that simple.” Louis replies.

“That’s impossible! I would have felt it!” I mutter more for myself, still not believing him.

“You wouldn’t. You have rejected each other.” Louis says.

“He’s right. You didn’t feel when she mated with someone else. Come on bro, She’s married! was married...” Ethan adds.

“Actually, I’m not sure about it either...” Louis comments.

“What do you mean?” I ask, confused.

“I don’t think she got married for love but more for financial reasons.”

“Are you telling me that my baby sister is a gold digger?”

“No but she tried to secure everything. She acted like she knew she was in danger or she was going to die. Also about the adoption, everything is legal but still something is not right. I can feel it and my instincts never betrayed me. There is a smell of magic in there, I know it. And why do you use magic if everything is right and legal? I would like more time to look properly at all of this.” Louis says.

“I’m not sure if I’m ready to know more about her life.” I tell them honestly.

“I know but I would like to know how she died exactly.” Ethan comments.

He sighs: ” How am I going to tell my parents?”

“Where is she buried?” I ask.

“Somewhere in Slovenia. In the middle of nature. I will give you the exact location if you wish.” Louis replies.

“Tell me everything you found about her.” I add.

“Are you sure you can handle it?” Ethan asks me.

I nod: ” I will try at least. Moreover it can’t be worse than married and dead, can it?” I shrug.


Ethan’s parents took it really bad but whom parents would not. It’s never easy to receive this kind of news. I still can’t believe she died. In the end, we’ve decided for Louis to not keep digging. It’s funny because at the beginning we all wanted to know more but at the end it’s just too painful.

This is so unreal! And my wolf is out of hearing. Actually I have no idea where he’s, which is bad because I don’t want to face that alone.

I went for a run and I wasn’t even able to shift. Good thing I love to run in my human skin too. After running an hour and half, I found myself taking the path to our old three house. The one grandpa built for Sam, Avery and me when we were kids. I’m only half surprised to see Sam waiting for me with a towel.

“You sure took your time! But I knew you would come here.” She says.

She lends me the towel and adds: “Go clean yourself. I made a cake.”

“Chocolate and peanut butter?” I ask hopefully.

She nods: “ Of course it’s your favorite!”

After cleaning in the river, I joined her in the hut and changed my clothes. As it’s a place I love to go when I need to think, I always change here. When I’m ready I can see Sam has cut the cake and I have a plat with 4 slices waiting for me. Yummy!

“Thanks!” I tell her before starting to eat.

“How are you holding it?” She asks me, looking worried.

I shrug and keep eating and I can see her scroll at me.

I sigh: “This is impossible! I can’t believe it. I can’t accept it.”

“It’s normal, you need time. I know what she meant for you.”

“Still I felt nothing. Nothing like that at least. Something was not right but not like death.” I explain.

“Maybe it’s because you’ve rejected her that -”

I cut her annoyed: “Don’t give me the same bullshit like the others! She is the one for me! No one else!”

“Then why did you reject her?”

“After what she did! She didn’t let me choose!”

“Still if she was the one for you, you should have fought for her!”

“The pack would never have accepted her! And as the Alpha, the pack is coming first! I just did what was expected from me!” I brak.

“Oh really! Then why don’t you choose another mate as the pack is expecting from you if it’s really come first. You’re such a hypocrite!” Sam reply angrily.

“Go fuck yourself Sam. I don’t want a lesson from you. You’re mateless and don’t even care looking for your mate so mind your own business!”

“My mate is not a werewolf, this is why I’m not looking for him. When I went to Blood Moon University, one of the students, Willow, was a seer. I asked her when I will meet my mate and she told me that I was to get ready because I will not be pleased with him. I should’ve never asked. With my luck He’s a werecat for sure! I’m so scared of how I will react and even more about how mom and dad will react! I see how unhappy you’re and how you can’t forget Hope. I will not make the same mistake. But I don’t want to be banished and lose you! ” She says, her eyes full of tears. Wow I didn’t know. Does Avery know?

" First Mom and Dad just want you to be happy. They will respect your choice. Secondly I will never banish you.” I tell her, hugging her.

“What if he’s a Tiger?” She asks.

“Then I swear on my Blood that I will accept him with open arms and I will order everyone to accept him. Nobody should be apart from their mates.”

“Thanks! How do you do that? I came here to comfort you and at the end you’re the one consoling me. Sorry!”

“Don’t be! Thinking and helping others with their problems is the best way for me to avoid my own.” I reply honestly.

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