Losing hope

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Chapter 42 - Day One

(Him - Ryder) Now...

“Ryder! You’re back! How are you feeling?” Sam exclaims, relieved.

In my office, I can see Sam, Enzo and Vanessa, one of our pack doctors.

“Where are Alistair et Melinda?” I ask them.

Enzo and Sam exchange a look, they are hiding something but before I can order them to tell me what, Vanessa says: “ Let me check on you first.”

Pack doctor holds a kind of power that can overthrow the Alpha power when life is in real danger. Even if most of the pack doctors never use it, they are too scared of the consequences. I nod and let her do her job. After the usual check up, She asked me questions about my wolf. My connection with him is really weak but he’s still here, thank goddess!

“Try to order something?” Vanessa requests.

I look at Sam and command:”Tell me what you’re hiding!”

Sam shakes her head:”I don’t feel the Alpha’s command at all.”

“That’s what I thought. You need to rest Alpha and you will not be able to shift for a few weeks. At least 6 or 7, I would say. Key word here is at least, it could be even longer.” Vanessa explains.

Fuck! That’s not good! I can’t lose 6 - 7 weeks for finding Hope. Now that Anatoli knows about us, he will be even tougher with her and I can’t let that happen. I will not have it.

“I’m serious Alpha! Don’t test me.” Vanessa warns me when she sees my look.

“Thank you Vanessa, you may go.” I dismiss her. She bows in respect and leaves.

Once she closes the door, I focus on Sam and Enzo: “ One of you can tell me what’s going on?”

Before they can reply, Alistair enters my office without knocking.

“So?” Enzo request.

Alistair nods and asks:” Did you tell him?”

“No, we didn’t. Just in case it didn’t work.” Sam replies.

“Someone tell me what the fuck is going on or I going to lose it!” I demand.

“Do you know where is she? We need to act fast. That’s an asshole now about my connection with her and he’s going to sever it as soon as possible and move to another place for sure at the same time.” I explain calmly.

The three of them are grinning when I finish.

“Not only do we know where she is but we also have her. Melinda and I went on a rescue mission!” Alistair states.

“Where is she?” I exclaim. Getting up but losing my balance right away. I see black dots.

“Easy Ryder!” Sam tells me while Enzo catches me.

“I need to see her! Where is she?” I beg.

“In Imladris. Melinda is with her, the time for me to get you.” Alistair explains.

“Let’s go then!” I order.

I want to see her! I need to see her with my own eyes! I need to see by myself that she is fine. I will not believe it until I see her.

On our way, they explain to me how Ethan, Louis and Ezequiel went on a mission to destroy a few warehouses of Anatoli to keep him busy for some time. Good I’ve a few days to recover!

We also speak about Dan and if we let him know Hope is back and if he can see her. Enzo and I agree to evaluate the situation before deciding. We need to be sure Hope is stable enough before letting him know. As soon as he will know, he will want - no require to see her.

When we enter Hope’s house, Masha is in the kitchen. She’s making a sandwich.

“Did you see her?” Enzo asks her.

Masha nods:” I’m making that sandwich for her.”

“How is she?” He asks her.

She shakes her head:”Really trouble. It’s better only a person at the time, to not overwhelm her.”

It’s only now that I realize her eyes are red. She cried. Now that I'm really look at her, I can see how shaken she is.

“You go first.” Enzo and I say at the same time.

“She’s your mate, man. She needs you more than me.” He adds.

“But I didn’t see her for 6 years! You were there. It’s better if she sees a friendly face first.” I retort.

“She will heal faster with you. Your love is the key to bring old Hope back.” He says.

“Go Ryder! You need to see her!” Sam adds.

“Okay…” I say, leaving the kitchen with the sandwich and walking toward Hope’s room.

With my wolf unreachable, I only smell faintly and I can’t even smell her before entering her room. I block in front of her door. What do you say to your mate that you didn’t see for so long. Moreover, when was the last time you saw, you were a total ass! I take a deep breath and go in. She is sitting on the bed with Melinda’s brushing her hair.

When Melinda sees me, she gets up and says:”I’m leaving you together.”

I stop her when she is about to go out: “Thank you so much! I’m indebted to you. If you need anything, ask me anytime.” She nods and leaves.

She looks so pale and tired. She looks at me and her eyes are so lifeless.

“Hey Baby girl…” I mutter a lump in my throat.

“Hey Ryder” She replies, absent.

Seeing her like that, my feisty mate, so broken… It’s so hard. Too hard! That makes me cry. I run towards the bed and drop the plate on the bed. I kneel in front of her and put my head on her lap.

“I’m so sorry!” I snob.

She passes her hand on my hair.

“I’m so sorry to not be the mate you deserve. I’m sorry I was not there to protect you. I should’ve been by your side, having lost so many years because of my stupidity and my pride. I should’ve showered you with what you meant to me.” I bawl.

“Stop! I should’ve trusted you, to believe our love was stronger than anything. It always has been you, Ryder! There is nobody else for me, only you. I couldn’t have asked for a better mate. You were made for me and you saved me… That’s what matters.”She says.

I take a deep breath of her scent.

“I missed you so much, Hope! Mine! Now that I got you back I will let you go. Never!” I swear.

“Yours only, always!” She confirms.

Suddenly her stomach gurgles.

“Eat baby girl. I’m not going anywhere and you need force. We have all the time to speak and catch up once you’re fed.” I tell her.

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