Losing hope

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Chapter 50 - A Promise

(Her - Hope) Now...

We finally did it again! It was even better than I’ve remembered! I missed it, I missed him like that. So demanding, so bossy! My Alpha, the one who made gentle the wild oceans of my soul. If I had known I wouldn’t have waited so long! I was scared of his reactions about my scars but he only growled and was able to keep in bay his anger. At the end we finished mated and marked!
Well, marked... Mine is fading away. We spoke with Vanessa who explained to us that Ryder’s wolf is not strong enough to leave a permanent mark on me. We will have to keep trying until it becomes permanent, that I don’t mind at all. On the contrary, I can wait to try and try again. The other good news is I marked him too and it’s permanent! He’s stuck with me eternally . I can feel his feelings and thoughts. My mark also strengthens him and his wolf will be back faster thanks to it!
“You seem appeased! It’s nice to have you back.” Al comments, coming to sit by my side.
“And you don’t seem appeased! Something is bothering you. Do you want to speak about it?” I ask.
“We’re getting married in less than 4 months and...” He sighs and doesn’t finish his sentence.
“So you know?” I ask.
“Know what?” He asks back, frowning.
So he doesn’t, well they don’t… I was thinking they were keeping it for themselves for now. At the same time, it’s quite recent, less than 2 weeks I would say. Should I tell them? Again? Nope! Melinda will kill me this time.
“Nothing.” I mutter.
He shakes his head but doesn’t tell me what is bothering him.
“If you tell me you’re doubting, I’m going to keep your ass so hard that you will not be able to sit for the next 2 weeks.” I tease him. I know his head over heels about Melinda. Still, I don’t understand why he didn’t continue his sentences. I can’t be that bad.
“Don’t be stupid!” He scoffs.
“I was trying to ease your stress!” I retort.
“Please, tell me! I might be able to help you.” I add.
He sighs again: ” When I see you with your family, patching up and building your story again with them... I want that too. I want Noah to grow knowing his grandparents, his uncle and his cousin. I want to share with them my happiness and I want them to be here for my big day. I would dress up with my father and my brother, my father helping with my tie. But I haven’t seen them for more than a year and they don’t know anything about Meli or Noah.”
“Then get there and tell them. Invite them.”
“You don’t know them. They will never accept a witch “taunting” their pure blood lines.” He scoffs.
“So what? What do you have to lose anyway? If they don’t know about your life, that means they are not close to you anymore. The worst case it will just become official.” I start but he cuts me off.
“That’s what I’m scared of. Also it would hurt Melinda to know they deny our mating.”
“So? Will it be better to stay with a what if? Look at me, where did it bring me? I cannot stop asking myself what if I had trusted Ryder with my secret? It’s so obvious now that it didn’t matter to him, that he loves me for who I’m. For all of me!” I explain.
“ Then we would’ve never met and you will be just a werecat. You wouldn’t have become the most powerful elemental. Things happen for a reason. Hope, I’m sure of that. You were meant to become an elemental.”
“Maybe… But in this case, you seeing me making peace with my past is your cue to do the same with your family.”
“I don’t know… They could try something crazy.” He mutters.
“And do you think Melinda will let that happen? Do you think Lilly will?”
“I don’t think she will ever go back there.” He comments.
“Even for you?”
When he doesn’t reply, I add: “Fine! Imagine Lilly is not coming, do you think I won’t?”
He chuckles this time: ” With your sense of being a Vigilant, they will be dead if they try something.”
I beam: “That’s not wrong. They would be full to try something. You’re mated with the most powerful witch, friends with a Lycan and a crazy bitch who believes she’s an avenger.”
He laughs this time: ” It’s really good to have you back!”
He stares at me and adds: “You’re so strong, Hope. No wonder why you became that powerful.”
“I still can’t control any elements.” I sigh, frustrated.
“You will soon!” He states without any doubt.
I wish I could be that confident... We hear Melinda calling for him.
“I better go. Thank you for helping me!My turn to give you an advise: believe in yourself and your resilience. Soon you will be able to control any element you want.” He says kissing me cheek.
I don’t understand why I’m so blocked like that. It doesn’t make any sense. I’m doing better and it’s been days since my last crisis. So why is it not working? Why can’t I? I wish I was as confident as Alistair. What if I lost my abilities? What if Anatoli killed the elemental in me...
“The only way to kill an elemental is by real death, Hope. We both know that!” Willow says on my back, making me jump. Oh I hate when she does that!
“You know I hate that!” I grumble.
“And like you, I like to tease please. I know how you like when you make people jumping.” She retorts.
“Fair enough. Why are you here Willow? You rarely pay me a visit if it’s not needed.” I question her.
“Stray to the point as always.” She comments.
“You know me. I’m not the most patient person.”
“I’m here because doubting as you do right now is not helping. Soon he will be here and you need to be ready. Your pack needs you, your mate and family too.”
“How can I help them when I can’t even use my gifts?!” I demand, annoyed.
“Believe in you! And think about what unlatched your abilities the first time.” She advises.
“Thank you. This is so helpful!” I comment, my voice full of sarcasm.
“Hold your horses!” She warns me.
“Sorry! I know you’re here to help. I should be grateful instead of taking my frustration on you.”
“I’m sorry, I was not able to find you. He got you way too long.” She replies with a sad smile.
“ But you helped! You paid Ryder a visit. Even if you lied to him about Anatoli breeding me.”
“He tried!” She defends herself.
“True but it couldn’t work.” I comment.
“Because you were dying. Telling that to Ryder would’ve drive him and his wolf crazy and you would’ve done something desperate and stupid. Telling him about the breeding awoke his possessiveness and the need to protect you. It was the best solution.”
“As always…” I mutter.
“Soon a lot of things will change but for that to happen you need to stay out of Alistair and Melinda’s problems. Someone else will be there for them.” She states.
“Okay…” I frown. Is it about Melinda’s situation? If she’s in danger in her state I don’t know if I could stay out of this.
“I’m speaking about Alistair’s pack. Soon everything will be at the right place, as it should have been from the beginning.”
“ I will stay out if there is no risk for Melinda in her situation”.
“They don’t know, do they?” I ask and she shakes her head.
“Keep an eye on Melinda and Noah until Alistair is back and everything should be fine. But don’t do more than that.” She orders.
“Roger!” I reply with a military salute.
“You’re a crazy bitch!” She comments.
“That makes the both of us!” I retort and she laughs.
“See you soon, Hope!”
“Maybe for once you could come say hello when you have nothing to announce. You drink coffee like normal friends.”
She smiles: “ I will think about it... I better go! Bye Hope!”
And she disappears before I can reply. At least she said goodbye this time.

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