The woman that occupied most of my dreams in prison was standing in my room.
I could smell her, see her, feel her, and taste her if I could. But I highly doubted she would agree to it.
I concealed my pleasure.
Lillie was exactly how I pictured her. Sweet, beautiful, and innocent. Probably too innocent for me. Somehow, that made me want her even more. From her dark brown curly hair and hazel eyes to her slender inviting body. She wore a leggings and shirt, but I could see she had all the curves in the right places.
She stood, just standing there for some time not saying anything. Just looking at me. Poor girl, she looked petrified with her eyes wide, like a deer caught in headlights. I knew my appearance looked tough and mean, but fuck, I didn’t want to scare her off so soon.
“You look prettier in person,” I said smoothly.
I could see heat rise in her cheeks, making her blush, as she lowered her eyes. I walked to the bed not taking my eyes off Lillie. She looked up, her eyes followed me cautiously too, as if sizing me up.
“I-I’m s-sorry for walking into your place like this, but the door was open.” she said nervously, clutching her handbag tight. I couldn’t help but smile. “You must be Dimitri I take it?” she said trying to remain cool.
I chuckled softly. “That’s right.”
“And It’s okay, I didn’t expect our first meeting would be like this.” I said gesturing to my naked body only hidden by a flimsy towel. She looked at me, my chest and then lower, but looked away just as quickly again, as if embarrassed.
“like what you see?” I said smirking.
Her pretty eyes popped open. She seemed taken off guard by the comment.
“No, absolutely not.” she said almost too quickly. She looked away again.
I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable than she clearly was. I grabbed an old black vest and placed it over my head. I grabbed grey sweatpants from the drawer and slid it over my legs under the towel, careful not to reveal myself to Lillie, not that she was looking anyway. I glanced over my shoulder and she turned her back towards me. How modest the girl was, I might struggle with this one, but the chase excited me more.
“I’m decent now.” I said and turned around with her facing me.
She hesitated for a moment.
“Well, I’m here to let you know, face to face, that… well… that you stepped over the line and when you got released from prison, all communication was supposed to be over between us. But you… coming… to my home… well, it’s completely unacceptable.” She said flustered her arms kept on alternating between crossing it over her chest and placing it on her hips.
I tried not to smile, and just looked at her blushing face. She tried to be serious, but I could tell she was scared shitless.
She crossed her arms. “How did you even know where I lived?”
I smiled. “It wasn’t that difficult… let’s just say there’s not many Lillie Clarke’s living in Ashfield that’s a 4th grade teacher and a violinist... I have my ways.”
Lillie narrowed her eyes at me and cursed under her breath.
“There’s no need to be afraid of me Lillie.” I said as gently as I could. I carefully approached her, but when I moved too close, Lillie moved two steps back. I sighed inwardly, I needed her to understand, that she was the last person I would ever want to hurt. I needed her help right now, I needed her.
“I wanted to meet you, because I need your help.” I finally said.
“Help?.. My help?” she asked confused.
I sighed a deep breath and nodded. “Before prison I was a complete mess, I did bad things and went through life recklessly and didn’t care about the consequences. During prison was a struggle for me, I felt isolated and alone, a place I never want to return to. I’m desperate not to go back to that life Lillie. It was rough and filled with violence.” I said, rubbing a hand over my hair.
“But there’s nothing I can help you with? What do you want from me?” She asked curiously.
“You can help me in more ways than one Lillie. your letters are what pulled me through the last stage of prison, where I thought I was about to lose it completely.” I said gazing through the window. “After prison, I feel like a kid again, navigating through this world, I need a guiding hand to help me, a good influence in my life to integrate back into society.”
I looked at Lillie again. “You see Lillie, you already helping me.” I said approaching her again slowly.
She didn’t move this time, but stared at me, her eyes reflecting caution or sympathy, or a combination of both. I didn’t care, I just needed her right now.
She shook her head hard and walked towards the door.
She spun around.
“I don’t want to be responsible for you Dimitri.” she said simply.
“No, please don’t think that way Lillie. I’m still my own man that can look after himself. I just need your help to find my way again in a positive direction. Please Lillie, think about it. I have to leave this place in the next week. I’m looking for an apartment nearby I can stay. I have no one else in my life I can rely on.” I said.
“I don’t know.” she said softly.
I walked to the table, grabbed a pencil, and scavenged a piece of paper. All I could get my hands on was a newsletter, I tore half of it, and wrote down my number.
“Please call me if you decide anything. Here’s my number.” I passed the piece of paper to Lillie, brushing my fingers lightly against hers. She grabbed it quickly and nodded.
I watched her as she walked out the door.
I just hope she didn’t walk right out of my life.