That night I sat talking with Rachael on the phone, talking about my new Manfriendship. I made her promise to never say those words in front of him. I tried to explain how I felt about Jonathan. I told her, “He is very different from anyone else I’ve ever dated, not that we are dating! I’m very comfortable around him. I have fun being with him. He is a very kind hearted man. I’m just myself with him. I don’t worry about how to act or what to say, it’s nice.”
She said, “It sounds like you’ve been dating for a while and he just doesn’t want to admit it. It’s an unusual situation Jenny.” Rachael suddenly changed the conversation and abruptly asked, “Are you going to end your relationship with Ben?”
“Yes, I’m trying to avoid him.”
“Just tell him directly Jenny!”
“I hate confrontations! I’m sure he will get the message. Jonathan said he thought he was possessive too. It needs to stop.”
“Besides, I like you and Jonathan together much better!”
I corrected her, “Rachael, we are just friends..good friends.” I sighed unsure if I believed it myself.
Shortly after speaking with Rachael, Ben texted me asking to come over. I said no, I was tired. He texted several more times and I didn’t answer him. Avoiding him might not be the best plan, after all he is my neighbor. Ugh! I dialed his number. “Hey Ben, listen we need to talk. This just isn’t working out, I’m sorry. I just want to be honest with you.”
“What! It’s because of that hick guy right? I knew it!”
“No! This has nothing to do with him! Except that you were very rude to him, he is my friend and you were rude to my sister too!”
“Your friend, I’ve always doubted that Jenny.”
“Please we don’t need to argue about it.”
“You’re right. We should talk it out, I will be over in a minute.”
He hung up the phone before I could say, No! Within minutes he was banging at the door. “Jenny, we need to talk!”
I opened the door and instantly noticed his cast was removed. He still used the crutches though. “Is your leg better already?”
“No, I just couldn’t stand that thing on me any longer, I cut it off.” He sat down on the couch, “Sit with me Jenny.”
I did as he asked. I listened when he said, “I’m sorry, I’ll even apologize to the guy and your sister.”
“You don’t need to do that, it’s not about them Ben. I just think it would be better if we didn’t…”
He grabbed the back of my head and tried to kiss me. “Don’t Ben!” I pulled away.
“I said I was sorry.”
“That doesn’t just make it better Ben!”
“I know what will make it better,” he said as he crouched on top of me pushing me flat onto the couch.
“Ben, don’t! It’s not going to work. I’m not going to change my mind.” I struggled to get up.
“Yes you will. Come on, spread your legs for me,” he said pulling my pants down.
“I said no!” I shouted and pulled them back up. “You need to leave Ben, I’m serious, get off of me!”
“Did you fuck him this morning?”
“What? No! Get off of me!” But he didn’t. He pushed down on my shoulders and I could see the anger in his eyes. “Get off Ben!” I squirmed and pushed his chest up, then he grabbed both of my hands hard and held them above my head.
“I know what you need,” he said and pulled my shirt up with his teeth as he held me down. I continued to yell at him. When I felt his teeth around my nipple hard.
“Ouch! You’re hurting me Ben!” I shouted.
“Hold still then!” he said and then bit harder.
“Ok! Ok! Stop!” I begged him. He did. I felt my heart racing with fear. I laid very still.
“Do I have your attention now?” he said in a raspy voice.
“Yes,” I said, trying to fight back my tears.
“Ok then,” he said calmly and began licking my nipples.
“Ben please stop. Please.”
But he wasn’t listening to me. He moved his hands off of mine to slide my pants down again. “Ben, I don’t want to,” I whined and punched at his chest.
“You want it rough, I can gladly do that Jenny,” he said as he forced his way into my mouth hard. It was not like any of the times before, he was pushing against my face so hard, I could hardly breathe. He put all of his weight on me as he maneuvered my pants off. My tears began to fall. I caught a glimpse of him looking at me, knowing now that I was crying, I hoped he’d come to his senses. “Please stop,” I said once more.
He placed his legs on top of mine as he kneeled up and lowered his pants. I knew he wasn’t going to stop. The tears continued to pour and I felt myself gasping for breaths.
“You want me to fuck you?” he yelled.
“No!” I cried.
“Say it!” he said as he grabbed my hair with his fist pulling me up to a sitting position. “Say it!” he commanded again.
He stood up in anger and for a minute I thought he was going to storm out. Without letting go of my hair he tried to force my body to twist around as he shouted, “Bend over!”
I fought against him and slapped him hard across the face. “Let go of me!” Then I truly felt his fury.
“You bitch!” he shouted. I will make your ass so sore you won’t be able to sit for a week!” He grabbed a hold of me so tight, he actually lifted me into the air and slammed me down on the couch face forward. I cried out but it didn’t matter. I felt him wrap his arm around my stomach as he lifted my behind up. He took his other hand and pulled my butt cheeks open so wide, I thought they would split open. He positioned his legs between mine as he yanked my hair with his fist, I felt him enter my rear end hard. I screamed and then felt a hard slap to my butt.
“Stop it!” he shouted. “Is this how you want it Jenny? Huh?” he said as he continued to slam into me.
“No!” I cried. “It hurts! Stop Ben!” He didn’t listen. He yanked on my hair so hard, I thought he’d pull it out of my head.
“Stop fighting me!” He shouted and swatted me again hard.
I continued to cry out with every move he made until I finally felt him pull out of me. Then I didn’t say a word, I just put my head down and cried. I hoped he’d leave.
“Turn around,” he commanded. “I said, turn around!” he shouted and forced me to face him. “Wipe your face,” he said and handed me my shirt. “I don’t like hurting you Jenny,” he said calmly.
I wanted to shout at him, you bastard! I wanted to slap him again! kick him! bite him even! ...but I was afraid to move. I just wanted him to leave.
He pushed my shoulders back, forcing me to lie down again. “Now spread your legs for me Jenny.”
I hesitated, glaring into his eyes when I suddenly felt the sting of his backhand on my face. I quickly did as he said to. I’d come to the realization that having him finish with as little pain to me, was going to be my best option.
“That’s my girl,” he said. “Spread your legs.”
I felt him inside of me again, I tried not to fight him. I tried not to shout out. I don’t know how much time had passed until I finally felt him release himself into me.
“Isn’t that better?” he said, still on top of me. “Tell me you’re sorry,” he whispered in my ear. “Tell me!” he said louder.
I shook my head in agreement.
“I think you need to stop seeing that hick and we will be just fine. Don’t you?”
I agreed again. I would have agreed to anything he wanted me to right now. It didn’t matter what he’d ask for, I’d agree, until he’d leave.
“Damn, I’m starving,” he said as he lifted himself off of me. “How about you make us some omelets huh? Doesn’t that sound good right now? “
I didn’t respond.
“Answer me!” he yelled.
“Yes,” I whispered under my breath, still crying, and then stood up quickly to put my clothes back on. He watched as I did, but didn’t stop me. “I have to go to the bathroom,” I said without looking at him.
He yawned, “You don’t need my permission to go.”
I shut the door behind me and washed my face with soap and water. My eyes were swollen and red from crying. My breasts and thighs were beginning to bruise and my rear end was definitely sore. I told myself to stay calm, it would be over soon. As soon as he leaves I will pick up the phone and call the police. I just had to wait for him to go. I heard him shout, “Jenny, I’m starving! What are you doing?”
I opened the door and walked into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and began cooking him an omelets.
He watched me, “Aren’t you going to eat too?”
“No,” I sniffled.
“Suit yourself. You are such a good cook Jenny.” He sat down at the kitchen table as though nothing had happened five minutes before.
I stood a good distance away from him and watched him eat, my mind raced.
“I thought I’d stay over here tonight,” he announced.
“No! You can’t...I ...I have to work in the morning. I need to sleep,” I could see he was getting angry with me. “I could meet you after work though.”
“Yeah, I could maybe try to get out early even,” I tried to act normal. I needed to convince him to go.
“Are you done being angry with me Jenny? Look at me!”
“Yes,” I lied and approached him to take his plate away.
He grabbed my wrist hard. “Are you sorry?” he questioned.
“Yes,” I lied. I had no idea what I was supposed to be sorry for!
“Look at me!” he commanded.
I did and felt the tears coming again, I couldn’t stop.
“Why are you crying?” He was agitated.
I needed to play along with his game. “I’m sorry,” I said and sat on his lap. “I’m sorry for making you so angry Ben.” I put my head on his shoulder. “I promise to try and make it up to you.” I wiped my face. My cheek stung from where he had slapped me.
“Yes. I don’t know what I was thinking. You’re right, I need to stop being friends with Jonathan, everything was fine before that right?” I felt my heart pounding out of my chest. I had to convince him.
“Right,” he said.
I got myself together and continued to play mind games with him. I felt I was close to gaining his trust again.
“I will tell him tomorrow. I promise.” I stood up.
He grabbed my elbow and said, “No, now. Call him now and tell him.”
“Ok,” I grabbed my phone.
“Put it on speaker phone, I want to hear him.”
“Ok.” I saw Ben smile, he pulled me back onto his lap and kissed my cheek.
“Hello!” Jonathan said.
“Jonathan, it’s Jenny. I just wanted to let you know that I’m here now with Ben at my place and I’ve decided to choose him Jonathan. I have to choose him over you, you understand?”
“What are you talking about…”
“No, Jonathan! Don’t try to stop me! I’ve made up my mind.” I tried to choose my words carefully, Ben was enjoying every minute of his glory. “Jonathan you were right, I belong to Ben. Tell him Ben.” I had to be convincing, I could explain to Jonathan later.
Ben said, “Yeah, man, I won! She is all mine now. Go back to fixing up your little store. She won’t be coming in there any more, right Jenny?”
“Right.” My voice cracked slightly. I hung up the phone. I was about to lose it.
Ben laughed out loud, “Awe that felt good!”
“I really need to get some sleep Ben,” I stood up cautiously.
“Not so fast, kiss me,” he said.
I told myself to keep it together, just a little longer. I leaned over and kissed him like nothing had just happened between us.
“I’m sorry I had to hurt you Jenny,” he whispered.
“It’s my fault,” I said. “I won’t make you angry again, I promise.”
“My sweet Jenny,” he smiled.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, probably like around 2. Maybe we could take that ride up to the mountains.” I tried to smile.
“That’s a great idea!” He said happy and stood up.
“Is your leg ok?”
“It’s fine, just a little sore.”
I handed him his crutches and urged him to the doorway. “Goodnight,” I said fighting back the tears as he walked out the door. I shut it and locked it. I ran to the bathroom. I vomited, I cried hysterically, I felt like I was having convulsions. I laid my head on the toilet seat and tried to catch my breath. After a bit I heard a knock at the door. I froze, afraid it was Ben coming back but then heard, “Jenny, it’s me. I just want to talk a minute.” It was Jonathan! I ran to the door and opened it. “Jonathan!” I was so relieved.
“What the hell happened to you?” he said worried.
“Get in, hurry!” I slammed and locked the door behind him. Then I fell to the floor and sobbed again uncontrollably.
“Jenny, my God, what happened? Where’s Ben? Did he do this to you?” he shouted.
I couldn’t speak. I sat on the floor hysterical again.
Softly, he said, “It’s ok, I’m here, you’re alright Jenny.” I heard him saying it over and over as he cradled me on the floor.
“It’s ok, I’m here, you’re alright Jenny.”
After a long while, I heard Jonathan, “Come on Jenny.” I felt him pull me to my feet and then picked me up in his arms. He carried me into the bedroom and gently lay me on the bed. He pulled the blankets up around me as he sat beside me. “Jenny, I’m going to call your sister and tell her to come over.”
I heard him saying, “Rachael you need to come over to your sisters, right now. She’s ok, I’m with her now but I think she needs you, something’s happened.”
I closed my eyes tight wanting to pretend it was all just a nightmare. I heard three short beeping sounds and then Jonathan whispered to me, “It’s the alarm, get under the bed, quick!”
I sat up right away but before I could comprehend what was happening... I saw Ben’s face in the bedroom doorway.
“You whore! I knew you were lying to me! You couldn’t wait to have him come over, could you!” he shouted. “Did she fuck you too man?” he looked to Jonathan. “Did she tell you she likes it rough?”
Jonathan said calmly, “I’m going tell you one time asshole, get the fuck out of here, now.”
Ben laughed, “Or what? You want to fight for her? Come on, let’s make this quick.” He literally dove at Jonathan to tackle him to the ground.
I shouted, “Ben don’t!” I jumped up and when I faced Jonathan I saw him standing there with a gun pointed at Ben’s head. Ben froze in his tracks but nearly stumbled to the ground.
“Give me a reason, asshole,” Jonathan said standing in a full firing stance ready to pull the trigger. “Looking at the shape Jenny’s in, I think I have reason enough already.” He cocked his gun back.
I froze too. I didn’t say a word. I couldn’t move.
Ben said, “Calm down buddy. You win. I’m done with her anyway. That’s what you really want isn’t it?”
Jonathan said, “You triggered the alarm, your friends from the police station should be here anytime now.”
Ben grumbled to himself, raised his hands in the air, and then took a step back, away from Jonathan.
We all heard the banging on the front door, “It’s the police, open up!”
Ben shouted, “In here! He’s got a gun!” Suddenly, he lunged at Jonathan, knocking both of them to the ground. I heard the gun go off several times. The sound was almost deafening, my ears were ringing. I ran towards the other side of the bed. I could see blood on the floor. I screamed, Jonathan!”
I heard a loud voice yell, “Freeze! Put your hands in the air!” Two policemen raced through the bedroom door with their guns drawn. “Nobody move! Let me see your hands!”
I did what they said. I could barely see through my swollen teared up eyes, “Jonathan?” I shouted. “He was trying to protect me!” I shouted to the police.
“Ma’am I want you to move back into the corner there and keep your hands up high.”
I did as he said to. I heard the other officer shout, “All the way up over your head! Both of you!”
“I think he’s dead!” Jonathan yelled.
I could see him lying on the floor with his arms above him, he was covered in blood. One of the officers approached them with his gun inches from Ben’s bloody head, he reached to feel his neck for a pulse. “Don’t you move, man!” He said to Jonathan.
Jonathan quickly said, “I’m not going to officer.”
“There’s no pulse,” he announced. “I’m going to lift him slightly off of you, I want you to keep your hands up at all times, you understand?”
“When I tell you to, I want you to roll over, very slowly onto your stomach, understand?” He now had his gun pointed at Jonathan’s face.
He pulled Ben up by the back of his shirt slightly. “I see the gun!” he announced. “Ok, very slowly roll onto your stomach ...that’s it. Now put your right hand behind your back. I’m going to handcuff you.”
“Ok,” Jonathan obeyed.
The officer cuffed him and then asked, “Are you hurt sir?”
“I don’t think so,” Jonathan said.
“Shit! This is Ben Carson! He’s one of us!” the officer shouted.
“Ma’am, I want you to turn around and face the wall.”
I didn’t understand, but I did as he said to. My heart pounded with fear.
“I’m gonna come over there and handcuff you too, till we can figure out what’s happened here, understand?”
“Yes,” I sobbed. I felt the cuffs tighten around my wrists. Then I heard Rachaels voice coming from the living room, Jenny!”
“Ma’am you can’t come in here,” the other officer shouted.
“Please, is my sister ok? Jenny!” she screamed out in fear. “Jenny!”
“I’m ok Rachael!” I shouted and sobbed. I heard the officer talking on his radio, “Requesting back up, the scenes controlled, we have an officer that’s been killed.”
“Please!” Rachael pleaded. “What’s happening?”
“You’ll have to wait outside ma’am,” I heard him say firmly.
I feel lightheaded, I might even throw up again. I’m trying not to look at Ben, it’s awful. It’s hard to even make out his face. I can feel my heart pounding out of my chest. I can’t stop crying. I feel my body collapse to the floor. I can see the officer above me but I don’t hear what he’s saying to me? He’s becoming blurry, I feel numb, I can see my own eyelids closing.