" Wha-? ”
The moment I realized I’d misinterpreted her actions, her words, her expressions, that moment my words stopped. But I couldn’t will my lips to move. As if stuck underwater, everything was slow and warbled. But my mind was blank and my eyes wide as I stared at the door.
I awoke to soft sheets, and the morning light trickled in through the blinds. Shedding myself of the remaining glimpses of a dream, my eyes were still shut as I soaked in the warmth of my covers before letting my dark brown eyes see the sun’s rays. My feet are ready for the ground, for whatever comes my way. Rubbing my tired eyes with the insides of my palms, my eyes were dry. I turned my head to watch the girl. She repetitively tapped her fingers on her face, trying all she could to keep her eyes open, she yawned as her eyes became heavier and heavier until they shut.
" She fell asleep??.... Probably! ”
I sneaked a cinnamon bun from the freezer, forty-five seconds in the microwave and it’s as good as when it came out of the oven yesterday. Eggs and piles of fried potatoes. A tureen of fruit sits in ice to keep it chilled. I kept the basket of rolls and an elegant glass of orange juice on the table as I watched Tia waking up from her sleep.
" You’re cute when you yawn ” I whispered to myself giggling.
" Huh? ”
" I said, Mornin’ sweet-heart! Had a great night’s sleep?? ”
I noticed her reaction and smirked.
" Where am I? ”
" Where else? In my room! ”
" Why am I here? ”
I ignored her question completely and served some omelets on the table.
" Breakfast’s ready. I’ve made you some omelets, and fried potatoes with a glass of orange juice. There’s also the basket of rolls next to the plate with warm cinnamon buns. Let’s have that first and I’ll get the fruits later? ”
I locked my eyes towards her while having breakfast. I certainly didn’t expect that our eyes would meet. I turned away, I could feel every single beat of the heart pounding in my chest,
" Are you feeling any better? ”
" You never answered my question!! Why am I in your room?? ”
" Looks like you don’t remember anything, eh? ”
She yelled at me, but I found that cute. I don’t know for what reason I have to be placing these words here but I explained everything that happened since last night. I wasn’t sure about how I felt towards her. Was it love or just infatuation?
" I would still be your friend if you would extend your hand, but I know that you won’t. ” I spoke without realizing that I was thinking.
" I’m sorry about last night! ”
" Neh, it’s alright! ”
I got up from my table and started cleaning the dishes. Tia bit her lip, eyes focused on me. Then she moves closer with those eyes that look so deeply into my own,
" Hey, it’s me. ”
Her breathing becomes softer, the pensive look melting into a smile as soft as the morning light. Her body squirms just a little as her muscles relax.
" Are you alright? ”
" Yes, I’m fine! ”
Her lips provoked me. I wanted to feel her lips against mine, though they are rough and thin - perhaps she wouldn’t like them. I put my hand on her arm and nudged her to face me. I reached up to touch her face and accidentally jabbed her in the eye with my finger,
" Ow,” she said, flinching. I held her steady with my hand on her arm again. Reached up more carefully this time and took her hand and pushed her against the wall, My feelings were out of bounds not realizing what I was up to,
" What are you doing ” she whispered. I looked up at her. Really looked up at her as if just noticing her for the first time. Her eyes twinkled in amazement as if she knew something I didn’t. They glazed like honey and turned into million shades of gold as sunlight from the open windows reflected off them. Her eyes were warm and so addictive. I pulled her close to me. Slowly, one by one, I tucked the wisps of hair up underneath her hat. I clasped her face in my hands and gently touched her lips.
“I…” all of a sudden, I took her hand and led her right to the front door.
" See you whenever. Bye! ”
I slammed the door.
I couldn’t complete my sentence after that. I started in an attempt at relief, from the beating, some trickle of words to relieve the flood. I can feel it still, beating, pulsing, thumping. It didn’t work, why won’t it stop. My heartbeat can sound like an echo, My heartbeat does the tango when you are near,
" It’s hard to say though easy to show, from the moment I laid eyes on you… everything, every instance has been about you—you don’t just matter, you are… everything. ”
I was a fool to think that confusion was some marker of stupidity, it is not. All dysfunctions evolved for function. If the brain believes one has time to think in safety, it will begin to think, to focus. I need to focus on my feelings!!
You’re probably feeling like you know me by now, getting a feeling for who I am, what my background might be. But you don’t know, not really. I’ll tell you things about me later on, things no-one else knows just to show you that I’ve made mistakes too. I grabbed my jacket and left my room, walking down the stairs thinking about the things that happened lately. I was on the streets taking some fresh air and began to jog. I started running, that was my way to feel the power in a life where I had none. It was the feeling of power to leave anytime I needed to, to escape the confinement of walls and feel the open road.