I wake up, wrapped in Tanner's arms and a smile spreads wide across my lips. The clock on his bedside table tells me that we already slept through his alarms and that our first class is already half over. I giggle to myself a little.
I never understood the phrase drunk on love until I met Tanner. I feel giddy; most importantly, I feel lucky.
I sigh contently as I stroke light patterns across his warm skin with my fingers and watch his chest rise and fall as he breathes.
I don't think I've ever been happier in my life. In fact, I know I haven't been. He and I have just met but this connection between us's indescribable.
Before I met him, life seemed like a chore; to get through each and every day unscathed. I had Lydia and Isaac and their family and although I love them with all my heart, I always wanted to belong somewhere; and right here, right now, in Tanner's arms- I finally feel like I belong.
I end up drifting back to sleep and wake up to him stirring under me.
"Good morning, beautiful." His voice is filled with sleep and it cracks on the word beautiful.
I mask my giggle with a groan as I stretch against him, throwing my arms around him before snuggling my face even further into the crook of his neck.
"Not yet," I mumble and gently place a kiss on his warm skin.
He breaths out the softest moan and it sends chills through my entire body. I can feel myself throbbing with need just by the mere sound and I have to shake the thought before I crawl on top of him.
"Let's skip classes today," I say softly; picking up his hand and playing with his fingers.
"I just... I want to stay in bed with you all day." I bite the corner of my bottom lip. When I finally look up at him, he's looking down at me with a mischievous grin on his lips.
He nods in response. "I'd love that." He tightens his arms around me and rests his chin on top of my head.
I'm suddenly filled with so many emotions; most of them good, -a little sadness intermixed. Sadness for his loss; sadness for myself and for what I've had to endure. But the happiness and love that I feel for this man outweighs all the sadness. The back of my throat starts to burn. Don't start crying now, Charlie.
"Thank you for sharing with me, what you did last night. It means a lot to me." I say softly and it takes a moment for me to risk looking up at him.
His face is blank for a moment, but he gently places a kiss on my forehead, acknowledging what I said.
"I want you to know that I'm here for you. I always will be." My mind swims with so many things that I want to say, but I don't know how to voice them- they just all jumble together into three words.
"I love you." It's out of my mouth before I can stop it. Fuck. I start to panic; my heart starts to race and I'm ready for him to push me away, but he rolls me on top of him, forcing me to look into his eyes. I can feel his heart beating wildly as my chest presses against his.
"Say it again." His face is unreadable but there's such an intensity to his words that takes me off guard. I try searching his face again as my heart plummets.
"Please." He begs.
I'm shaking, I can feel it- my entire body. "I..." I can't think straight. "I love you, Tanner." I let out a shaky breath and seriously feel like I'm about to pass out.
Before I can freak out, even more, he grabs my face and kisses me- hard.
His kiss steals my breath away, and when we pull apart both of us are breathing heavily, our eyes searching each other's faces for all the answers to the questions we both have for one another.
He doesn't say anything for a moment and I start to panic again.
"I love you too.-" He pauses for a moment, drawing in a deep breath.
"Fuck. I've been waiting to say that to you for so damn long and you beat me to it." He grins sheepishly and rakes his teeth across his bottom lip.
My nerves subside just slightly as I let out a soft giggle. "Really?"
He nods. "You have no idea. I just feel like... Like we're meant to be." I can see the color of his cheeks redden with his admission and I can't help the smile that spreads so wide across my face- my cheeks hurt.
"I'm sorry if it's too soon. I just... I feel the same way, and it just came out. I didn't even know what love was until I met you. It just felt right. You feel right." I ramble and instantly regret it but when I see his smile the regret instantly fades.
His hand finds my face and he strokes his thumb lightly across my cheek.
"God, you're amazing." He lets out almost breathlessly.
I know at this moment; this is where I belong, with him. I don't care how long we've known each other. I don't care about anything when I'm with him.
Before I can second guess my actions, I lean down and plant my lips against his. I trail my hands down his arms and when they slide into his own hands, I intertwine our fingers and bring his arms above his head- holding them there as I lean into him, tracing my tongue across his bottom lip. His mouth opens, granting me access as I brush my tongue against his.
A whole new side of me breaks free as I press my lips harder against his. I need him on a whole new level. I never knew you could lust for someone so much- need to feel their hands and mouth on every single inch of your body.
A soft moan escapes my lips as his hands travel up my thighs, gripping my ass.
He lets out a grunt and it's almost animalistic as he flips us over faster than I can register.
A squeal of a giggle escapes my lips, muffled by his kiss. I take the opportunity of the vulnerable position I'm in to show him just how bad I want him; I raise my hips just slightly, meeting his as I move my hips against him. My hands trail up his back, finding a chunk of hair at the nape of his neck and grabbing it, pulling him as close as physically possible.
He growls against my lips and I silently plead with whatever god is listening, to keep the bad memories away.
My breathing is ragged as I bite down on his bottom lip, pulling it towards me. I open my eyes for just a moment, and I'm met with his gaze. There's so much in his eyes that fills me with an even deeper need. I can see love, lust, and god he looks like he wants to devour me whole- and I'm a willing fucking participant.
His hands are all over me; they start off on my neck and he drags them down- so painfully slow.
Goosebumps overtake my body as his fingers play with the hem of the t-shirt he lent me last night. Oh god yes.
His fingers inch their way up, drawing patterns across my skin before he finally reaches the swell of my breasts. He trails his fingers innocently across each of them before tracing the circle of each of my areolas; his finger just barely brushing across my hard nipples each single fucking, painstaking time.
I'm milliseconds from begging when he pulls back just slightly and pulls the shirt from torso, revealing my body to him- completely, for the first time.
For a moment I'm self-conscious and shy but the look on his face says it all, and just in case I didn't read him right, he vocalizes it.
"God, you're so fucking beautiful." He grunts, his eyes taking in every single inch of my exposed skin. He sucks his bottom lip between his teeth as the corners tilt up into a wicked grin.
"Fuck." He mumbles before he leans back down and I can feel just how hard he is; resting right against my thigh. I want him, now!
His lips find my neck; licking, sucking biting all the way down to my collar bone, down further until my right nipple is between his teeth.
My back arches and I let out a strangled moan. My body has never reacted this way for anyone, not even myself. Oh my god, he's literally going to kill me.
He growls in response and I can feel the vibration of the sound against my nipple, causing me to gasp. He gently pinches my other bud between his fingers, not leaving it without attention before he trades his fingers for his mouth.
I'm almost seeing stars with the way he's making me feel, but he doesn't stop there. Before long his soft kisses are trailing down my body; taking his sweet time.
I look down at him and his eyes flicker up to mine. I can feel my panties flooding with desire.
He grins as he trails his tongue even lower, his gaze never leaving mine. He bites down gently, just above my hip before sucking my skin into his mouth and when he pulls away there's a slight red mark.
His mouth is moving again- he's trailing the lightest little fairy kisses right above my panty line and every single touch is sending shocks of electricity through my body.
Before I know what's happening; he resurfaces and leans in against my ear.
"Watching your body respond to me...Fuck." He mumbles before pulling away to look at me.
"But are you sure you want this? I don't want to do anything you don't want to." He sounds almost nervous, but I just nod my head ferociously.
I can feel frustration bubbling up inside my gut. I want him. I'm not some broken china doll but when his lips crash onto mine again, the frustration is sucked right out of me.
Our hips rock together in a rhythm that has me close to going into cardiac-fucking-arrest. He reaches down between us and slides his hand slowly into my panties. His eyes widen as he feels how wet I am for him, and the animalistic look is back in his eyes as his fingers barely flick across my swollen clit. Fuck.
My body shudders from his slight touch and it's over so quick. He slides his hand from my panties, and I'm almost ready to push him off of the bed but he brings his fingers to his lips and slides them into his mouth. He's tasting me and oh my fucking god, it's so sexy.
Before he can even dare tease me anymore, I flip us over and climb back on top of him.
I grin down at him as I grind my hips against his. I can feel his length rubbing against me and a gasp escapes my lips as my legs start to tremble.
His hands fly to my hips as I rock against him, meeting my rhythm with his hips. His fingers are digging into my skin and I can feel my clit throbbing for him- but there's something I want to do first.
It's something I've never done before, refused to do- but for some reason, the thought of doing it to Tanner has me ready to cum in my panties.
I bite my bottom lip nervously before slowly climbing down his body. I slide my hand inside his boxers, feeling the silky skin of his cock as my fingers wrap around it.
His eyes flutter closed as his head falls back against the pillow; letting out a low groan.
My fingers work his length at a slow but steady pace and I can feel the throbbing between my legs intensify.
I tug at his boxers and he lifts his hips just slightly so I can pull them off. Once they're off, I fling them to the side and marvel at the sight of him.
My inner animal comes flying out as I spring into action, wrapping my mouth around the tip of his cock, swirling my tongue halfway down his length.
He lets out a throaty groan that only feeds my inner beast. I take more of him into my mouth, continuing the action with my tongue until I can feel him hitting the back of my throat.
His hands tangle in my hair, pulling gently as I suck my way back up, gazing up at him. He's in pure bliss, and god what it's doing to me.
"Fuck." He mumbles softly as I work my way back down. I force my mouth down even further, taking his entire length into my mouth and I nearly gag, but I take him like a fucking champ.
He lets out a groan and I can't take anymore. I crawl back on top of him and position myself over him. I take his cock in my hand and slide it across my wet entrance, before letting the head of his cock settle inside.
He stops me; and I can tell it takes everything in him to do so, "What about a condom?" He asks, his voice tight- he's trying his hardest not to thrust into me and just watching him struggle makes me want to slam my hips down on him even more.
"I've been on the shot for years... If it makes you feel more comfortable, we can." It feels weird saying it out loud; Gavin never wore a condom, it's just what i'm used to.
I start to feel self conscious and I curse at myself silently for even thinking about that scumbag at a time like this. Ugh.
His eyes widen and oh my gosh if I could describe the way he looks right now... I guess it's safe for me to assume that this is a first for him.
He grabs my hips, his knuckles turning white and the pain his fingertips cause is the best kind of pain. He pushes his hips up to meet mine and I hold my breath as I adjust to his size, letting out a soft moan as he settles inside of me.
His intense glare is trained on me as he takes in a shallow breath. "Fuck, you... You feel so good." His voice is so strained and raspy that it only drives me further over the edge.
I lean down and kiss him gently. "Fuck me," I whisper softly against his lips and it's like a flip switches in him because his grip on my hips tightens and he arches his hips up to meet mine; thrusting into me with a pace that causes me to scream out his name in utter bliss.
Before I know it, he has me on my back; my legs wrapped tightly around his hips as he settles back inside me.
"Yes." I moan out, my head falling back. I'm pretty sure my eyes roll back into my head but when he pulls almost completely out, I almost protest but he thrusts back into me so hard that it causes me to shift up on the bed.
I moan out for him and find that patch of hair at the nape of his neck which I've deemed my favorite and I tug it so hard that I'm afraid I may have hurt him, but it only seems to fuel him more.
He trusts his hips against mine, rocking them at the same time in a circular motion hitting every single sweet spot I have. He reaches between us, circling my clit with his finger, which only floods me with the biggest euphoria high I've ever had.
"I'm gonna-" I moan out, but he doesn't let me finish my sentence.
"Not yet." He grunts out.
"Cum with me. I'm so close baby." His words turn me inside out. I hold out as long as I can and when I feel him throb inside of me, a long groan escaping his lips- I finally let go; my body shaking. A loud moan trails out of my lips as firework-Esque flashes shoot through my entire body.
We're both sweating, our breathing ragged and emotion floods me so fast; I don't even know where it comes from. Before I know it, tears are streaming down my face and I'm giggling- like a fucking maniac.
"Oh my god. I'm losing it." I cover my face with my hands and heave a sigh.
"That was...There are no words."
Tanner pulls my hands from my face and the smile that graces his beautiful lips, makes my heart melt.
"I love you." Is all he says and kisses my lips so tenderly that it makes fresh tears slide down my cheeks.