Pretty Fake Fantasies

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Back to square one

The next day, as promised, Carter came to pick me up on his death trap. I was running a little late today which gave my mum the opportunity to have a little "friendly" chat with Carter.

I hurriedly put my books in my bag, scared of the things my mum would say to Carter the longer I stayed inside. I practically jumped downstairs from the corridor and I was out the door and besides my mum and Carter in a second.

"You could make the flash blush" Carter said, amused at how fast I had gotten ready. I wanted to make a snarky comeback but I was too busy trying to get oxygen into my lungs.

"Oh goodness Ave, you could've taken your time" my mother said and starting running my back soothingly.

"So you could threaten to cut Carter's dong off in my absence?" I asked my mother, my eyes accusing her for putting me in this position.

"Oh my such a drama queen. I wish you good luck Carter and also feel a little bad for you." My mother said while shaking her head. Her words made my mouth gape.

"Oh mother!" I said dramatically and then we both laughed. I looked over at Carter who looked amused and kinda confused at the exchange between us Piers women.

"Now off you both go, I don't want you kids to be late for school. Oh and remember, no grandkids till atleast 25!" My mother said making me turn red.

"Ma!" I screamed at her retreating figure. Goodness that woman! I turned around to look at Carter who was just grinning at me as usual.

"What?" I asked as I got on his death trap.

"Nothing, your mum is very interesting, practically gave me a sex ed class on how to use condoms properly" he said. His words made me groan..gosh this woman!

"I'm sorry, I should've chained her to the sofa" I said while resting my forehead on his back, the embarassment getting to me.

In my defense, I never knew my mother was like this. She was always preoccupied with my father. A lot was different with him here...

Carter chuckled and turned his head around, making me lift my head up and look at him.

"Well atleast now I know I have her permission to do her daughter" he said cheekily.

"Oh gods, where did you learn to talk that way?" I asked him surprised at his sudden crude words. I know I should not like it but shit, the way he said it made

"You bring out my dark side Piers" he said while handing me a helmate name on it.

"How?" I asked while holding up the helmate and looking at him quizzically.

"I got it done for you" he said and then added "look it got skulls on it too, I thought you'd like it" he said while scratching the back of his head.

He had my name written on it for me? He customised a helmate just for me?

"Is this dude made of honey?" My subconscious sighed in aw.

"I know right" I replied to her.

"I love it, thanks" I said to Carter as I put it on.

"Well?" I asked him while patting the top of the helmate, asking him how it looks.

"Looks like it was made just for you" he said.

A smile spread on my face. I quickly wrapped my hands around Carter as he started his bike and off we went towards school.

We were soon parking in the school lot, it hardly took 10 minutes to reach school from my house. I hoped off the bike and and realised that everyone was once again staring at us.

"God, people need to start minding their own business" I mumbled out loud.

"They'll stop in a few days" Carter said as he took my hand in his. I looked up at him and sighed. I hated attention.

"It's okay Ava, people stare at things that are greater than them" he said as he smirked.

"You say the most ridiculous things sometimes" I shake my head at his comment but it did sure make me laugh and relax.

All throughout the school day, Carter stuck to me like glue. He dropped me off to classes, sat with me in classes we had together, sat with me at lunch and then waited for me after school ended like last time.

We walked to his bike and I put on my helmate after Carter handed it to me.

"I need you to drop me off at the town square" I told Carter.

"Why?" He asked me, his eyes scrunched in confusion.

"I need to get another job" I told him and then proceeded to smooth out the wrinkles on his forehead that had appeared there as a sign of further confusion.

"Didn't you mom get a permanent position at that company you were telling me about?" He asked me.

"Well, yea she did but I hve to get another job, I can't just let her take care of us all alone" I told him. I can't just sit around on my bum all day, doing nothing.

"She's your mother Ava, she's supposed take care of you. And you already have a job, how in the hell are you going to manage a second one?" Carter said to me, making me a little mad. He had no idea about our situation and thus get's no say in this.

"You don't have a single clue how this works, were not rich like you." I told him. I can manage shit on my own, I didn't need him to worry about me.

"Seriously? I'm just thinking about you. You have school too! How are you going to handle that as well? You get back home around 7 pm after your shift at library, how are you going to manage another job and then school work on top of that?" Carter said to me, he was desperately trying to make me see reason.

"Well, we all have to make sacrifices. The worst that could happen is I drop out" I told him. I did not care about school, all I cared about was the fact that my brother would be entering high school soon and I wanted him to go to a nice school and not a shoddy one just because I was to lazy to get another job.

"What about college?" He asked me. "How are you going to get into a college without graduating high school?" He asked me.

"Carter, I don't need to go to college. What I need to do is get my brother into a good high school, get my mum to live comfortably and make our lives as easier as possible" I told him. I was angry now, how can he not under that I had to do this. This wasn't a choice! It's my duty!

I angerily took my helmate off and threw it in his lap.

"Go home. I don't wanna talk to you right now" I told him and started walking away. He shouldn't speak in matters he had nothing to do with.

I was suddenly yanked back into a chest and when I tried to pull away, Carter just got impatient and pulled me back towards his bike. He forced me to get on and we drove in the direction of Clara house park.

We were soon seated at a bench in the park and none of us wanted to be the first to talk. My legs were currently trapped between Carter's thighs in order to prevent me from running.

"Can you let me go? I don't want to talk to you" I finally broke. I did not have the patience for this. Luckily my mother was staying home today, so I didn't need to be with Ray.

"I have to go back to Ray, Carter" I told him knowing it will work. He wouldn't keep me here knowing Ray would be alone in my house.

"I know your mother is staying home tonight, she told me this morning" he said as a matter of fact. Fucking mum and her oversharing.

"What do you want then?" I asked him annoyed at how he always tries to get his way just because he's physically stronger than me.

"I want to know why you're fucking yourself up for no reason" he asked me. His arms folded making his muscles bulge, making him look intimidating.

"We need the money Carter" I told him, my hand going up in the air dramatically.

"Have you asked your mother if you need the money?" He asked with his eyebrows raised.

I sighed "no I haven't but we must need it for something! My father is gone, which means all the financial responsibility falls on me and my mother" I said, exasperated at the fact that Carter couldn't understand something this simple.

"Did you mother ask you for the help?" He continued with his ridiculous interrogation.

"No Carter! My mother hasn't asked me and why would she? She's probably scared about worrying me and that's why keeping all this away from me!" I told him.

"Then ask her, talk to her first before you go around destroying your future" he told me and released me legs with that.

"Come on I'll drop you home so you can change and them take you to the library for work" he said and started walking away towards his bike.

I heaved out a sigh and followed him.

"You don't need to take me to the library, I have the day off" I told him. I took a day off to spend time with my mum...she was hardly there anymore and I missed her.

Carter just nodded his head and we took off towards my home. We didn't exchange any words and I just quietly went inside my house once Carter dropped me off.

"He sweetie, how was school?" My mum said as she saw me enter the living room.

"It was okay" I told her while putting my bag down besides the couch and sitting next her.

"Ma, I wanted to ask you something" I told my mother. I might be stubborn and hard headed but I knew whatever Carter said made sense.

"Yea, go ahead" my mum said while pausing the TV and turning towards me.

"How much do you earn right now?" I asked her. My mother gave me quizzical look.

" Almost as much as your dad, where is this coming from Ave?" My mother asked.

"I just wamted to know if you want me to help you with the money. I want to get another job to help you and I want you to honestly tell me if you need the help, please ma" I told her.

"Honestly baby, my salary is reletively lower than your father but I have lesser mouths to feed and you bring around 500 bucks every month from you part time so you hardly ask me for any money, so honestly I don't need any help but if I do I will tell you, okay?" She explained while softly caressing my head. I nodded and chose to believe her.

Carter was right, getting another job will hinder my studies and now that I think about it, I don't think being a highschool drop out is a smart move.

It was different when mum didn't have a job. All it mattered then was getting Ray's tuition but now things are different.

I just feel useless for not being able to help much. After our mini confrontation, I excused myself to my room.

I was not feeling well. My head kept spinning and I couldn't breadth properly.

I sat down on my bed trying to calm myself down. I don't know why this was happening..I was alright a couple of days ago.

But there was this voice inside my head which kept on telling me how incompetent and useless I was. That I was neglecting my family and I couldn't get it to stop.

Maybe I deserved to have a father like that, I was a shit sister and a useless daughter. It was my punishment for being garbage.

I couldn't Do a single thing right! I fucked up my grades, I couldn't help mum and now I'm being selfish and risking Ray's future.

I heard the voice tell me that I was the reason my sister left. She was tired of my whinning, she was tired of having a useless sister and so she left. Carter would leave too once he realises how strange and worthless I am.

I don't know how it happened, one minute I was sitting on my bed, clutching my head trying desperately to shut out all the voices in my head and the next, I was lying on the bathroom floor, with a bloodied paper cutter in my hand.

"You deserve the pain" I whispered and then everything went black.

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