Pretty Fake Fantasies

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The world I forgot about

The rest of the school day was a blur. Turns out I missed a whopping 3 periods while I was stuck with Carter.
I don't know why the universe hates me so much, I did not need this right now.

You might think I'm being stupid. That Carter is nice enough to care for me but I'm pushing him away and then complaining that I'm sad. But that's the thing, I don't want to die because I'm lonely or because my dad is literally the devil. He doesn't mean shit to me, his actions and words don't affect me anymore and I have mum and Ray and I could easily make friends if I wanted to but I don't cause I like being alone.

The reason I want to not live is because of me. I hate myself. I hate looking in the mirror and finding this weak, hurt, broken little girl staring back at me. I hate the fact that I can't protect my mother and my brother, I hate waking up with a hollow feeling in my chest everyday, I hate having to actually feel my beating heart to know that I'm alive.

I hate feeling so dead...

But let's not get into that. I don't want the tears today, I already have my plate full.

I don't have any idea what I am going to do about Carter. I can't say no to him, something in me tells me that he was not joking when he said he'd tell an adult. I definitely cannot risk anyone else knowing about this.

So, as I make my way towards my house, I make up my mind. I'll do what Carter says, it's not like talking with him will change my decision anyway.

*She reaches home*

I open my front door and something hits me right in the face!

"Ahhhhhh" a painful scream leaves my mouth. I look up and see my father, furious.

"I am fed up of you little vermins. I work like a dog day and night to send you bitches to school and then I get a message saying that you missed three periods?!??" He screams and picks up the camel figuring from the shelf right over the staircase and throws it at me.

I dodge. I feel like this spot is just bad omen.

"I don't know what I did to deserve such a harsh punishment like you, I ought to beat you with a fucking bat to set you motherfuckers straight. Listen to me you bitch, if I ever find out again that you are out there wasting my money, I will throw you out of this house with not a single clothing on your back." He spits out. He walks towards me and pushes me into the wall and then leaves the house.

I forgot about the attendance. I sigh and start picking up the pieces of the broken photo frame and the camel figurine I made in 8th standard.

After cleaning I run upstairs to my room to fix my face. I could feel that the photo frame had cut skin and I did not want mum or Ray seeing this.

I looked at my face in the mirror and of course, a huge ass cut right above my left eyebrow. He doesn't hit us with his own hands but the fucker found a loophole, didn't he.

I quickly got to cleaning the wound.
I can hear the front door opening downstairs.

"Ava, are you home yet? James, is Ava home?" I hear my mother scream.

I apply the bandages and throw the first aid box under my bed. I go downstairs to greet my mother.

"I'm home mum, father just left" I say as I enter the living room where my mum was setting down the groceries. So that's why she wasn't there to protect me.

"Oh lord Ava what happened to your face!!" My mother says as she rushes towards me. Her hands all over my face, trying to figure out why I had a huge ass bandage on my forehead.

"It's fine mom, I got hurt during gym today" I say dismissively. Telling her will only make her feel bad that she wasn't here to do something...she can't always be here.

"Oh darling, you have to be careful. You can't go around hurting yourself Ava. How bad is it?" She asks. You know when you're really hurt but you try not to cry but then someone asks you 'are you okay' and then that makes you cry, yea well this was one of those moments.

I felt the tears fall on my cheeks like waterworks.

"Oh baby, does it hurt a lot? Do you need me to bandage it again? You need some painkillers?" She asks as she rushes to hug me.

"It hurts so much mum, it hurts so much" I try to stop my tears, I could see how flustered and worried I made her but I couldn't bring myself to stop, today has been too much.

So I stood there in my mum's arms, looking for the comfort I needed.
I could feel my heart lighten as she soothingly patted my head and my back

"Mommy!!" We both turned our head when we heard Ray's voice and the sound of the door unlocking.
Within 0.002 secs, Ray was clinging to my leg, as I clung to our mother's neck.

"How was school, Ray?" My Mum asked him, and he looked up and made a frowning face.

"We did math today, momma I don't like math, math is bleh" he said with his eyes doing a weird thing and his mouth making the bleh sound with his tongue out, this made me and mum laugh.

Yup, whatever happens, I'll always have this. I just have to pull through a few more years. Now, I feel somewhat grateful that Carter caught me that day.

Soon we fall into line and start doing our chores. I make my mother and brother some lemonade and clean the house myself. I need the release today.


I KNOW IT'S SHORT! But atleast we went ahead a bit. I will try to upload early but I have sooo many projects to complete, that I can hardly find any time.

Remember guys I want reviews but It would be nice if you're not cursing at me in em.. remember this is my first book.

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