Abandonment and Tears
I look at the clock kept on my night stand and-- IT'S 3 IN THE FREAKING MORNING!
WTF is he screaming about at this hour?!!
I hurriedly got out of my bed and rush downstairs to see....my sister? And my father standing there with her right in front of our main door. Lord that spot is cursed!
"WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN?! Whoring around with guys?!huh?!!" He screams at her. I see her roll her eyes and completely ignore my screaming father and make her way towards the kitchen.
Fuck...this is not gonna sit well with him.
"You bitch, can you not hear me?!? I asked you where the fuck have you been the past few weeks?!" He yells at her again, following her into the kitchen.
Uh oh...the kitchen has knives...fuckkkk!
I run to the living room and grab the metal baseball bat I've hidden there under the couch. I grab it and run to the kitchen as well...it isn't much against a knife but it can knock the beast out atleast.
"I moved out" my sister says in a calm voice. My grip on the bat loosened.
She moved out..but when? Her stuff was still here...
My brain stopped working..I slowly backed away and ran upstairs to my sister's room. I slammed open her bedroom door to...find it empty?
When did this happen? She didn't move out, she was just away like she always is, staying at a friend's house or something.
I hear more screaming from downstairs and come out of her room, ready to go downstairs and protect her from my dad's wrath.
But just as I stepped inside the kitchen, my dad sped past me and up his room.
My eyes follow his back till he disappears round the bend of the corridor and I hear the door of his room slammed shut.
"What are you doing with that bat?" My sister's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. I look towards her, still a bit shaken and feeling like I've been knocked off of my feet.
"I--- your room.. it's empty..I think someone broke in..your bed and everything is gon-" she interrupted my mindless and to be honest senseless rant cause why would anyone break in and only clear her room?
But all meaning had left my head at that moment... rendering me senseless and a blabbering fool.
"I moved out Ari.." she says in a very distant voice...I almost didn't recognise her. She looked different..heck she even stood there differently. This was not my sister.
"What are you talking about?! You didn't move out! You didn't move your stuff. How did we not know that you moved out?! I mean I think mum and I would've noticed something so hu-"
She stopped me again.
"I moved my stuff eventually, I didn't want you or mum or even Ray knowing. I found a cheap apartment and a stable job." She said.
"What?" I asked her, I don't understand. She couldn't move out, she wouldn't leave me and Ray here alone... she's my older sister..she won't just abandon us..she wouldn't...
"Ari, it's time I grew up. I'm tired of our family and embarassed to be honest. I'm through with all this bullshit. I want a happy life for myself, I don't want to live in this hell forever" she says with not a single hint of guilt.
"How could u say that! You're through with your family?! So you're through with me and mum and even Ray?!!?? You're just gonna leave us alone Maddie?! Huh! You'll just gonna leave me here?!" I scream at her, my cheeks stained with my tears.
"I came here to tell dad not to contact me anymore" she says with finalisation in her tone as if to say 'im not discussing this any further'. It leaves me speechless. Maddie chooses that moment to leave me standing there and go out of the kitchen, towards the main door.
I run after her
"You can't! Maddie you can't leave us, you can't leave mum, this will break her Maddie!" I beg her with my eyes. Holding on to her hand desperately. It will kill mum if she knew this happened, I can't let Maddie do this to her.
"Listen Ava, I am not going to take this emotional torture anymore. You shouldn't too. Mum is immune to all of this, think about yourself and leave. You'll die here" she says, yanking her hand from my grip and turning around and leaving.
All I could do was stand there. Why would she do this? Why would she do it like this?! She wanted to leave? Fine! But why must she make a mess like this?????!!!
I turn around, tears in my eyes and my chest heavy, how am I going to tell mum?
I look up and see my mum standing there on top of the staircase. She must've come out to check the damage...
"Mum" Maddie saw her..that bitch saw her standing there and still had the gall to spit that nonsense!!
"Maddie is right Ava, you can't stay here forever" my mother says smiling at me. She turned around and went back to her room.
Why would she do this to her??!!
I go back upstairs and check up on Ray. He was still sleeping soundly....I gave him my old room since it was sound proof and I didn't want him waking up scared from my dad's screaming everyday. I go back to my room and try to get some more sleep. I didn't want to think about what just happened. It hurts too much...but sleep was reluctant to come to me. So I just ended up lying in my bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to forget everything.
It wasn't like Maddie was around much anyway. All mum needs is me and Ray. We'll take care of her, just a few more years and I'll get her out of here. I'll do Maddie's job, I'll help mum divorce dad like Maddie was supposed to, I'll support mum after that like Maddie was supposed to, I'll take care of Ray....just like Maddie promised to...
My alarm clock snapped me out from my spiralling thoughts. It was time for school. I felt like death right now and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I even looked like it.
I reluctantly got ready and went straight to school after making my dad's tea. I didn't feel like eating anyway.
I walk through the school doors, with my head down, my earphones in and my hoodie covering my face.
I make my way towards my locker without paying any attention to anyone or anything.
I felt so empty today.... God, my life had turned into a sappy novel with a bitter ending.
I reached my locker and see the one and only Carter grey standing there, looking fresh out of the shower with his damp hair, grinning as if he had found a unicorn who shit diamonds.
"What" I say to him annoyed at his presence alone. He is ruining everything in my life, he disrupted everything.
"Whoa, why are u so snappy today?" He say smiling at his own idiotic joke.
"I'm not in the mood Carter" I say to him. I just want everything to be silent.
"Well we made a deal Ava, I'm keeping up the end of my bargain" he say lifting his hands up in mock surrender. Dickwad, gosh he makes so mad.
"Stay away from me Carter, I really don't like your existence and I never agreed to you deal anyway " I snap at him.
"You hurt me Ava" he mocks.
I slam my locker shut and start making my way towards English. I can feel myself loosing braincells as I stand with this idiot.
I can feel him following me, his gaze fixed on my back. He is so frustrating.
I got a sense of de ja vu when once again I was pulled inside an empty classroom with none other than...drumroll please..... Carter Grey!
"What!" I scream at him. Why can't he just let me be.
"What's wrong" he asked me with a hint of ' do not lie to me' in his voice.
"My dog died, he was hit by a car. The tire went over him and squished him into strawberry jam" I said to him with a serious face.
"You don't have a dog Ava" he rolls his eyes. "What's up?"
"How do you know that? Stalker much?" I say to him, trying my best to divert his attention. I can't do this right now. I'm not ready to confront this myself, what am I supposed to tell him?
"Ava" he says in a warning tone.
"I don't know how to tell you. Give me some time, let me sort my thoughts, I'll tell you then." I say to him, knowing he won't let this go until I tell him and I really did not want a repeat of yesterday.
He doesn't say anything but just stares at me. I can practically see the wheels turning in his head, calculating and contemplating.
He steps aside and motions for me to get out, which I do without any hesitation. Thank god that worked!
I heave out a sigh and make my way, once again, towards my english class with Carter tailing right behind me.
Was he in my english class as well?
My question was answered when I found myself siting right beside Carter in English. 15 min in, he still doesn't leave, no 'who are you' directed towards him from Mr. Joy confirms this.
I feel highly uncomfortable right now. Not from the fact that The Carter Grey was sitting beside me but from the fact that everyone in the classroom was looking at us. Curse this popular boy and his righteousness!
I hated the attention and the whispers, I wanted to shrink to the size of an ant or combust into flames and just disappear right now.
Carter suddenly moved closer to me
"You tell me everything during lunch" he whispered in my ears. He stayed there, with his mouth near my ear for a second and then suddenly jerked back.
A shiver went down my spine, I was not ready to tell him anything. Why must he do this to me?! I look at him from the corner of my eyes and found him looking at me, with his eyebrows srunched and his lips forming a pout.
Looking deep in thought. I look away, afraid of getting caught while staring at him. He looked cute. I won't deny that he's hot but I have way too many problems to think about right now, so thinking about how hot he is, is not really on my list.
Soon, I was sitting in my fourth period, with my hands in my hair, thinking about what would happen during lunch today. Thankfully Carter doesn't share this class with me or else I would've been driven mad till now but he did walk me to this class which earned us a lot more looks from the other students.
I kept pulling my hair like a psycho woman! I just couldn't stop thinking about this! I don't know how I am going to tell him what happened this morning.
Why is god doing this to me?!!!!!