The Biker's Rules

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Waking up

***POV – Melaena

Like a black-and-white movie in color, I see Kiara smile at me, holding a picture in her hands. I don’t want to look at it, but I can’t seem to look away. Her mouth moves but no words come out. A blob on the grey picture starts beating in rhythm with the noise in my ears. A heartbeat. A baby. My baby. Damion’s baby.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

I open my eyes. A green light blinks … on; off; on; off. It’s bothersome. I shut my eyes. A turn signal. The car rolls, tumbles, crashes … The indicator light flashes alone in the darkness. The air is voided with sound. I scream for help but it’s only in my head, no sound escapes. Through the shattered window I see a man standing in the shadows, like a ghost, watching … his face locked in terror, his grey eyes filled with guilt. It’s dad.

Beep! Beep! Something drips on the bonnet of the car like single drops of rain. My father is standing next to the wreckage, his face full of pain, his lips saying ‘sorry’ over and over without actually making any sound. He is missing a finger, drops of blood falling in slow motion; beeping each time it hits the metal and then dissipates … beep, beep, beep

He lifts his hand, but the darkness overwhelms him. A small boy runs from the blackness; looking back as if something is chasing him. I follow him into a dim hallway, the metal doors dark and rusty. The boy stops and turns around. He’s hidden in the dark and I can’t see his face but he holds out his hands; palms up; fingers together. A thin rod sweeps through the air and bludgeons down onto the tips of his fingers without, each time creating a sinister high-pitched tone.

Beep! One. Beep! Two … twenty times.

I need to get out, but my body is frozen, stiff. Pain shoots into my head as my thoughts come together. Darren … Lucinda … Harry … run toward me from the other side of the passage, the hate in their eyes clearly visible. I bolt to where the boy is standing.

His cold blue eyes pierce through me. He looks angry. Jackson.

Beep! My body goes cold. Beep! I can’t move. Beep! Can’t breathe. Beep! Beep!

Disorganized memories evaporate through my aching head …

The threesome’s footsteps get louder. Beep-beep-beep-beep.

Payback. Beep! Revenge. Beep! Death. Beep!

Then Darren grabs my arm and my eyes fly open in shock … a green little light flashes in union with the beeps. My eyes are heavy and I lose the struggle, darkness floods over me again.

Beep! Beep!

I groan internally … my brain wants to explode and the noise drums it on and on and on and …

All I can see is Darren’s face. All I can feel is the ropes cutting into my arm, the cold barrel of his gun tracing paths all over my body. All I can hear is the sound of his laughter. It feels as if I’m suffocating, but I can’t move. Am I dead? He taps the point of the barrel onto my stomach.

Beep! You belong to me. Beep! You are mine. Then he pulls the trigger.

I gulp in some oxygen.

BANG!

Damion bursts through one of the iron doors, blood oozing from a gaping wound where his heart is supposed to be. The air gets stuck in my trachea and I’m gasping like a fish on land – mouth open, beep, close, beep, open, beep, close …

Darren laughs, his face painted like a sinister clown in search of death. His hand clutching the gun pointed straight at Damion; a twinkle of smoke escapes from the barrel.

I see the shock in my lover’s eyes, then he grabs the hole with his hands and looks down astounded, before looking back at me. He stretches out his arm, and holds out his hand, his beating heart displayed on his open palm.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

I sink into a bottomless pit and drown in the thick suffocating smothering darkness. It’s scary quiet except for that annoying beep. Is this part of Darren’s torture – beeping me insane? A reverberating pain in my head echoes the alarm vibrating in my ears

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

Confusion flickers through my mind, trying to make sense of my scattered thoughts, dragging them from the furthest points of my subconscious. I can’t die here. I need to fight for my baby. I need to find a way out.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

I open my eyes to find the source of that irritating noise that pulsates the pain, but all I can see is darkness, a single blob of light pulsing green – on, off, on, off, on, off …

Where am I? What happened? I blink and try to get my thoughts together, but they don’t make sense. Something is not right. Something is seriously wrong. The blinking light is even more annoying than the freaking beeping in my ears.

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!

I focus on keeping my eyes open and slowly turn my head forward; a sudden white light hurts my pupils. No, I’m not walking into the light! I might be lethargic, but I’m not stupid. Everybody knows what it means if you walk to the light. Damion needs me. My baby needs me. Heaven can wait. I turn my eyes in circles, trying to look away from the condemned heavenly brightness. I groan; a sharp pain radiates through my whole body.

Beep! Beep!

I turn my head back to the side and struggle to keep my seemingly heavy eyelids open, just enough to peep at the blinking green freaking light again. What is that?

Then I see him, his black hair messy, his face a shadow in the darkness next to me, an angel with closed eyes. Is he dead? A ghost maybe? He’s propped on a chair, his body bent forward, his head next to my shoulder, one hand holding mine, the other protectively over my tummy.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

Staring at him the sound suddenly reverses into a soothing one, like a heartbeat of love. I feel a calmness covering me like a blanket; all the anxiety is gone; all the pain lulls me into a blob of serenity. With choking difficulty I manage to move my hand and wiggle one finger – minutely, barely. He slowly lifts his head and wipes his hand over his face.

I try to speak but am too exhausted by the effort of moving my limbs, and under the cover of tranquility, I just lay there staring at my man. He stares into my eyes and blinks a few times.

Beep! Breath in. Beep! Breath out. Beep!

“Mel?” His voice sounds hopeful, excited, confused … but it’s as if he’s stuck in a bubble …

“Damion!” It sounds like thunder that echoes in my mind, smashing around in my skull like a ping-pong ball, even though it was only a tiny whisper.

“Mel, you’re back.” His voice drifts to me, weighed down with emotion. “I never felt so fucking helpless.”

My heart jumps at the pleading sound in his voice, “I hope you can forgive me. I’m the one that must protect you and I failed.” I hear the anger hiding behind the appealing plea for forgiveness.

“Please don’t leave me,” I want to answer him, to comfort the feral desperation radiating from him, something I’ve never heard from him before. I feel his hand grabbing mine in utter despair. I try to squeeze it, wanting to ease his frustration, while at the same time indulging in the physical connection I so intensely need.

Suddenly I see his demons clearly, guilt … they prey on his guilt. The guilt he feels because his sister died and he survived, the guilt about the little boy he killed, the guilt because of the Honda rider, and now because he couldn’t save me … and who knows how much more guilt is hiding in his shadows. And right there I see all his monsters, and I know my demonic angel can be saved, he can be whole again.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

“I thought I lost you, I was so fucking scared. And then I found out about the baby. Now I’m fucking petrified. You are my light, the one that takes my darkness away.” His voice breaks and then I feel his soft lips pressing against my forehead.

“I love you Mel, more than you’ll ever know. I fucking love you so much.”

Beep! Beep!

“You know this baby fucking stunt you pulled on me almost cost me my life … firstly I almost had a heart attack, and then your family wanted to kill me – still does. Don’t you ever dare pull shit like that on me again,” I manage a smile, trying to imagine my raging murderous brothers’ faces when they found out about the little bean Damion planted in me. I winch in pain. My whole body seems to be bruised and battered. Every inch is sore and tender.

He softly wipes my hair from my face and puts a kiss on my cheek. He’s still reading my mind.

“The fucker beat you up badly. I’m so sorry, angel.” A tear runs down his face. “But I want you to know that you’re safe now, they will never bother you again, ever. It’s a long story, but they’re gone forever.” Hate quickly flashes over his green irises, and then it’s gone.

“How’s everyone?” I dread to ask.

“Alejandro was shot in the leg, but he’s already his usual annoying self.” A giggle hiccups from his throat, divulging that he’s much more stressed than he’s letting on. “Luke and Kiara are both going to be fine, because of you. And Jackson, well, let’s just say that he’s fine … just more into himself than usual.” I notice his arm is in a sling and there’s a bruised blue bump on his temple.

Beep! Beep!

He pulls in a deep breath as if he’s making up for a loss of previous air.

Beep! Beep! Beep!

I feel my heart contract. I’m just glad everybody is alright. Tears well in my eyes, but I’m not sure if it’s real.

“Mel, are you …” Damion doesn’t finish his sentence, but the soft touch of his fingers against my face jolts my skin as he wipes the tear from my cheek.

“I love you too.” He laughs, tears now filling his green eyes. Wow, I manage to say that out loud?

“You fucking better love me after all the shit you put me through.”

“Water,” I whimper, my throat dry like toilet paper. He grabs a bottle from the nightstand and opens it.

I try to get up but quickly realize that it probably wasn’t the most intelligent thing to do, cause it only shoots the excruciating pain in my head down to my stomach, tearing it apart. I feel warm liquid running between my legs, wetness coating the sheets.

Shit, did I just pee from pain? Damion drops the bottle; I hear his frantic shouts as the sandman pulls me back into my narcotic blackout state. My head is groggy, and the blinding white light slowly disperses, while my eyes shut all by themselves, leaving the pain to consume me.

“She’s fucking bleeding. What’s going on?”

Bleeding? Why would I be bleeding? Plus side – at least I didn’t wet the bed. Dignity restored.

“It’s the baby. I need you to step away.” The voices are in a bubble again, or maybe I’m just imagining it because of the lingering pain.

Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Beep-beep!

The sound is twice as fast, twice as irritating. I can feel something bad is happening, something really bad, and I try to line up my thoughts in a methodical order, so I can get to the logic behind everything. But nothing makes sense. I can’t think clearly. I try to shout at Damion.

I love you. But I know he can’t hear me, it’s just in my head.

“This will numb the pain while we figure out what’s wrong.” I’m not sure to whom the female voice belongs, but she must be a doctor I suppose. No offense, but there’s no numbing this pain … I definitely feel it, I’m being torn from the inside.

“What’s going on?” It sounds like Jackson, but I could be wrong.

“She has abdominal bleeding … could be a subchorionic hematoma.” The woman speaks quickly, not that I know what she’s saying.

“Is the baby going to be okay?” That voice is definitely Damion, that I’m sure of. Funny how I can distinguish him from all the rest.

“We’ll do our best to safe the little bean, but it might be a miscarriage.” The doctor answers and then she shouts orders around. “Give her some progesterone and get those blood bags going. I need an ultrasound. Come on people.”

“Doctor you need to fucking safe them!” Damion sounds like a lost boy.

A coldness hits my stomach skin, sending a shiver through my heated body.

Beep! Blob! Beep! Blob! Beep!

Another sound accompanies the irritating noise, mirroring it almost exactly, and it generates a calmness over me as I instinctively know it’s my baby’s heartbeat. But then the ‘blob’ disappears and only the ‘beep’ remains.

“I need you guys to go now.” The way she dismisses what must be my family, the doctor sounds frantic, almost panic-stricken.

No! Don’t leave me alone. I open my eyes, twitching them against that bright light again. This time I see the silhouette of a woman hovering over me.

“Mel! Can you hear me?” I blink a few times and the silhouette becomes clearer, turning into Dr. Burden. Her face is inches from mine, her eyes worried.

“Yes.” I try to move my arms, to fold them, to protect my baby, but one is heavy, burdened by a cast, the other layered with needles and tubes.

Beep! Beep! Beep-beep! Beep-beep!

I’m shaken, body and soul, physically and mentally – an overload of emotions and pain crashing my reserves. I can’t do this. I just can’t. I think I’ve reached my breaking point.

“You need to keep still,” the doctor commands, but like a floodgate that bursts, tears stream down my face and I sob uncontrollably. My body shakes like a 9,3 earthquake and I’m pretty sure the screams that fill the room are coming from my mouth.

“Get Damion in here, we need to calm her down!” The doctor yells and then he’s there … my demonic angel. An ugly ribbed sob snaps the tip of the iceberg and he rushes to my side, his face tired, engraved with pain, and eyes a battle of conflicting emotions. He holds onto me as if he needs it more than I do.

His fingers move in my hair and he mumbles, the words don’t penetrate my mind, but it soothes the pain, and replace the fear with hope. I can smell his skin and it calms me down.

“The bleeding stopped, but she lost a lot of blood. I need to check if the fetus is still there.” She puts the gel on my tummy, and her hand moves the inducer from side to side, slowly, stopping every now and then.

I just can’t look at the screen, so I look at dr. Burden instead. Then a single tear slowly makes its way down my doctor’s cheek while she bites her lower lip. I’m praying to hear just a single ‘blob’ somewhere but the sonar machine is eery silent and my heart rate increases, at double speed.

Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Beep-beep!

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