#27 Dshawn is a slut for it
When the last of the kids have left the house, and we cleaned up all the pizza boxes, we’re ready to party. Well, almost. The moms and dads left for a moment to drop their kids off with babysitters, brothers, sisters, parents, whoever will look after their rugrats while mommy and daddy dearest party their asses off.
Mila is on the couch, already three glasses of wine in, talking to Chase and Andre. Chase showed up in skin-tight silver pants, a black button-up shirt that he only closed half-way, showing off his smooth chest. He’s daintily sipping a pink cocktail he made himself. I’d love to join them, but Kian is nowhere to be seen, so I go into the kitchen, finding my boyfriend leaning against the wall around the corner, gulping down wine.
“Are you okay?” I take the glass out of his hands and press a kiss to his lips.
“Yeah…” he wraps his arms around me and rests his forehead against mine. “Three of my colleagues stayed, even after I told them you and your friends party like you’re still in your early twenties. In fact, I think that’s why they stayed.”
“That means they like to party,” I try to reassure him. “The ones who don’t want to get drunk probably already left, right?”
Kian sighs. “I guess. It’s just… I only just started working there, and they all still like me. It’s only a matter of time before they will see that I’m-”
I press a finger against his lips. “Amazing, you mean? That you’re smart, sweet, and sexy?”
He smiles and nips at my finger. “I know I’m being too intense about this. I’m just nervous.”
“Then drink some more wine, and maybe eat a pot brownie later. It’ll make you feel better, I promise.” I kiss him softly, happy that I finally get to share all of myself with the man I love. Since I moved in here, I’ve been one hundred percent me, instead of merely seventy or ninety percent. Kian was in for a surprise when he found me having my coffee and breakfast on the floor in front of the coffee table, watching Grease on his huge flatscreen TV. It was the first morning after I officially moved in, and he’s been learning about all my weird habits ever since.
I didn’t realize how much of myself I’d kept hidden this past year. It didn’t even happen on purpose, and it’s actually taken me a lot of conscious hard work to let my freak flag fly again. I can tell it’s sometimes a bit much for Kian, especially things like me getting the paper from the letterbox outside in nothing but my boxer briefs and then striking up a conversation with the neighbor. He actually came outside to hand me a robe. Oh well, he’ll get used to it. I’m a bit of an acquired taste, and now that we live together, he’s got all the time in the world to acquire a taste for more than just my cute butt.
“Are you ready to go in there?” I nod towards the living room. “I’d love to tell you that my friends won’t bite, but once Mila gets a hold of one of the brownies, I make no promises about her behavior.”
Kian follows me when I carry the plate of brownies – the only treats I made myself instead of ordering them from Liv. The amazing baker and her hot cop husband already left. This isn’t really their scene, and she’s seven months pregnant. They’ll have a much nicer night snuggled up in bed together, with James talking to her belly. They’re so cute together it would be sickening if I didn’t love them so much.
“Who wants to get high as a kite?” I ask, putting the plate of treats on the table.
About half the people here dig in. James’ friend Elijah is still here, drinking beer, but he’s not getting high apparently. Same for Kian, of course, and while Franny is already biting into the brownie, Joshua is not here yet, taking the kids home and instructing the babysitter. Annabel isn’t having anything either, whereas Aston is already buzzed from the beer and is now eyeing the brownies with a glint in his eyes.
Thom and Tracy come in through the backdoor, back from buckling their kids into Peter’s car. He’s the vet Tracy works for, and basically like a dad to her. He lives close, so the guy is the most convenient babysitter in the world. Usually, Thom’s dad stops by to help out, since the guys are pretty good friends. Thomas’ mother is a little more… challenging. She once called me an abomination, so I guess it’s a good thing she has no idea her own son likes dick. Oh well, she apologized and we’ve been getting along alright since Alex was born. She knows I’m like an uncle to her grandkids, and she accepts that, even seems to think I’m good to have around to help out. That’s all I can ask for when it comes to her.
I eat a few bites of a brownie and wash it down with some more beer. Soon enough, everyone is back from dropping off the kids, and we’re all lounging around.
“Caroline not coming?” I ask Shaughna, who is on Dshawn’s lap, playing with his curls while he drinks his beer and has one hand resting on her ass.
“She and Nate have a rare night without kids,” she says with a grin. “They dumped them on Abby and Chris, and now they’re at a hotel. So no, they’re definitely not coming. They’re probably working on baby number three. I spotted handcuffs in her suitcase, so I’d say they’re in for a very fun night.”
Kian almost chokes on his wine, but everyone else laughs. The three colleagues of his that are still here, seem to find the comment funny. One of them is in his early twenties, the others are Kian’s age. They all seem quite relaxed, and one of them is definitely gay. Not because he looks flamboyant, but because I caught him checking out Chase earlier. Not sure if he’s out or not, but he is definitely looking to get into those skin-tight silver pants.
“Okay, time for presents!” I clap my hands and point at Mila. “You’re the master of the mountain of gifts. Hand them to me!”
She rolls her eyes, but still does as she’s told, throwing me the first one from the table against the wall. I check the name-tag, seeing it’s from Amber and my dad. It’s a rainbow flag. Of course it is. I drape it around Tracy’s shoulder and then open the next one. All of their presents are gay themed, and before long we’re all wearing hats with puns like I’m so gay I can’t even drive straight. Aston put on the rainbow socks on his hands, using them to rub Annabel’s hair until it gets all static and stands up in all directions. He’s high, or drunk, or both. She’s not, but she still giggles.
“That one’s mine,” Andre says when I take the next one from Mila.
I sit up straight, excited now. This won’t be a rainbow flag. When I open it, I gasp. “Oh my God, are these…”
“The potholders Luke wanted to buy for Rachel in season 1 of Gilmore Girls,” he confirms.
They’re shaped like cats, and when I squeeze them, they meow. I squeal and jump up, throwing myself at him for a hug. “I love that show!”
“You may have mentioned it once or twice.” He pats me on the back and ruffles my hair. “Glad you like them. I also got you something else.”
Mila finds the presents in question, and I open it carefully, like the tag tells me to do. It’s five teacup cactuses, just like the one I bought for him. “Now Henry has company!” I jump up to put them on the windowsill with the houseplant that is miraculously still alive.
“Henry?” Kian asks.
“The houseplant,” Thomas, Tracy, Mila, Aston, and Andre say in unison.
“He should know that. Henry lives with him, after all,” Mila mutters low enough so Kian won’t hear, but I do. I choose not to respond. So he doesn’t know the name of my plant. Big fucking deal.
I open more gifts, and since there are lots of sex toys it’s a good thing I didn’t open anything in front of the kids. Kian gets more and more red in the face, especially when one of his colleagues holds up the blue fluorescent anal beads.
“You use this?” he asks, laughing. “What do these even do?”
“What’s your name again?” I ask the guy.
“Well, Silas, are you gay, straight, or somewhere in between?”
He doesn’t look scandalized, he merely humors me. “Straight.”
“Most men, whether straight or gay, like a finger up their ass,” Mila cuts in, knowing exactly where I’m going with this. “Do you, Silas?”
He doesn’t reply, sipping his beer instead, trying to buy time.
“I do, sometimes,” Aston says, not embarrassed in the least.
“Dshawn is a slut for it,” Shaughna says, kissing her boyfriend’s neck. “Aren’t you, baby?”
He grunts something into her ear that makes her moan, and they start to make out. I think that answered that question.
“Show of hands,” I order. “Who here likes a finger up their ass every now and then?”
Mila and I raise our hands first, followed by Dshawn, Aston, Kian’s gay colleague Kyle, Chase, Thomas, Tracy, Franny, Joshua, Elijah, and… Andre. Well, well, well. Interesting. The only ones not raising their hands are Annabel, the young lawyer Ralf, Malik, Silas, and Kian.
“Not my favorite,” Annabel says with a shrug.
“Same.” Malik raises his beer in her direction.
“Never erm… tried it,” young Ralf mutters. Poor guy is blushing.
We’re all looking at Kian now. He looks to me for help, but he’s on his own this time. I’m wondering which way he’ll go. Slowly, very slowly, he raises his hand. Then he lowers it quickly and downs all of his wine, grabbing the bottle for a refill.
Aston, Shaughna and Mila holler, giving him a round of applause. I decide not to make things even worse, turning to Silas again.
“So, you don’t like a finger up your ass?”
He shrugs. “Maybe.”
“I bet he loves it.” Mila wiggles her eyebrows. “I bet he begs his wife to peg him when he’s had enough of those beers.”
“Not married,” Silas mutters.
“That’s what you get for being an ass and passing up on this gorgeous woman.” Aston tugs Annabel closer. “Fucking idiot.”
“You used to date him?” I can’t believe it. This guy is so… well, the opposite of Aston, really. He’s normal, in a very dull way.
“Yeah, it wasn’t exactly a success.” Annabel snuggles up to Aston with a happy sigh.
“Remember when he tried to get you back when it turned out his wife was cheating on him with your sister’s husband?” Aston is enjoying this way too much.
As funny as this is, Silas is getting very uncomfortable, and I can tell Kian doesn’t like it. He’s told me about his colleagues, and Silas is the one who’s made him feel most welcome. He’s in mergers and acquisitions, not doing divorce law like him, but they get along. Since Silas isn’t much older than Kian, and most of the other lawyers are younger, I guess they bonded. He moved into town only six months ago when Annabel and Chloe offered him a job, so I think he might be looking for friends too, just like Kian.
“Okay, back to the finger up the ass. I think we can all tell you’ve tried it.” I wink at Silas. “And you liked it. Now imagine it not just being a finger up there, but instead your fuckbuddy or girlfriend or whatever you’ve got…”
“No one at the moment,” Silas replies. “But I get your point. I’m imagining it. So this is something you put up your ass?” He holds up the beads, and they light up, flashing brightly. Yeah, Thom really got me a good gift this year. “Oh wow, they’re very… festive.”
“Even Abby likes them,” Aston tells Silas. “You remember Abby, right? Christopher’s wife? She’s a huge fan of anal. You wouldn’t know that by looking at her, all innocent and cute, but she’s a freak like the rest of us.”
Kian and Ralf look like they want to puke, but no one else is even remotely upset about this conversation. I feel bad for Kian, but at the same time I think he should get used to this. This is what my friends and I do. We talk about sex and buy toys for each other.
“Interesting.” Silas puts down the beads and takes a piece of brownie. “And this is drugs?”
Thomas laughs. “It’s Liv’s double chocolate brownie recipe with cannabis added to the mix. It’ll get you nice and high.”
Very carefully, he takes a bite. “Hmm,” he mutters, swallowing. “Not sure about the high, but they definitely taste great.”
“Give it some time.” Tracy looks like she already has a wonderful buzz going. “They make everything feel all fuzzy.”
“Talking about fuzzy…” Kian clears his throat. “Maybe I should give Dylan my gift now.”