Dreamy Dylan

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#43 I really thought I loved you

When I stop by the house in the morning to shower and put on a clean outfit, I find Thomas in the kitchen making a fancy breakfast that he’s putting on a tray. He’s in nothing but boxer shorts, all of his tats on display. I designed most of them, and I love how they look on him. The crown on his lower abdomen always makes me grin. The fucker crowned his dick. That shit never gets old.

“Breakfast in bed for Tracy?” I ask, sneaking a piece of bacon.

“For both of my ladies.” He’s smirking as he pours three mugs of coffee. “We really tired out Fleur.”

I can’t help but be intrigued. “Was she any good?”

“A gentleman never fucks and tells.” He winks at me. “Lucky for you, I’m no gentleman. Yeah, she was amazing. Last night was… God, I don’t even know how to describe it. We barely slept. If I didn’t have kids to pick up in two hours, I wouldn’t be up right now. I’d still be passed out, no doubt about it.” He sighs happily. “I’m a lucky bastard.”

He really is. His wife is pregnant, for crying out loud, and he looks all blissed out from having a threesome that lasted all damn night. And here I am, little old me, getting ready to see my ex after spending the night in my best friend’s bed, where nothing exciting happened at all. Unless you count Mila farting in her sleep, which I definitely do not.

“Thomas!” Tracy’s voice sounds from upstairs. “We’re hungry!”

“Impatient much?” he yells back, shaking his head. “You heard the lady, I need to get my tight ass back to the bedroom.” Before he does, he puts an arm around me and squeezes me tightly. “Good luck with Kian. Call me if you need anything. The offer to smack the shit out of him stands indefinitely.” He cracks his knuckles. “You say the word, and he’s toast.”

“You go bring your wife and Fleur some toast.” I smack his ass when he walks past. “Can Tracy even have coffee?”

“Decaf,” he replies before disappearing upstairs.

Time for me to get ready, I guess. I shower as quickly as humanly possible, and then dress flashy as fuck. Time to show Kian I am back to my normal self and I don’t give a shit about what he thinks. I love my rainbow blazer and my pink jeans, and if he ever truly loved me, he would too. Instead, I haven’t felt comfortable wearing these clothes in a year. How sad is that?

I grab the bag with his stuff and drive to the coffee shop, arriving a few minutes early. Of course, Kian is already there, prompt as ever. Here goes nothing…

“Hey,” Kian says, getting up when he sees me. “You came.”

“I said I would, so I did,” I bite out, already feeling pissed and sad at the same time. I almost add that I’m not a liar like him, but I hold back. No need to make this even more unpleasant than it already is.

“Do you want anything?” He motions to the counter where the barista is on her phone. This place is dead. At this time of day, Andre has no time to goof off. Cup of Joy is so much better than this shitty place. Which is why I picked it, of course. The last thing I want is to associate my happy place with Kian.

“Vanilla latte.” I sit down, waiting for Kian to return with my drink. I don’t offer to pay when he gets back. He cheated on me, after all. The least he can do is buy me a coffee.

“I’m glad you wanted to meet up.” Kian sounds so fucking calm it angers me. “It’s so weird not talking to you anymore.”

I fake a smile. “We have stuff to exchange.” I motion to the bag I brought, and the box next to his chair. “Plus, I figured we’ll run into each other eventually, living in the same town and all. Better to get this over with now.”

“Right.” He looks at me expectantly, but I don’t say anything. What is there to say, right? “Look, I’m really sorry,” he breathes, his hands wrapping around his mug. “This wasn’t how I wanted you to find out.”

“You’re sorry for how I found out?” I repeat. “Not about cheating on me for two months? For lying to me? For breaking my heart?”

He grimaces. “That too, of course. I never meant to hurt you. Things just got complicated real fast after I became friends with Silas.”

I’m not sure if I want to hear the story, but I still ask. “What happened after my birthday?”

Kian looks down at the table instead of at me, and I can tell he’s nervous. He should be. Whatever the story is, I doubt it will be one that excuses his behavior. “Kyle, Cooper, Silas and I started hanging out, as you know. Cooper could never stay out too late, since he’s got kids and a demanding wife. Kyle has Chase, and he always wanted to get home before Chase fell asleep to kiss him goodnight. So most nights, me and Silas were the last one still at the bar, and one night, when we were both a little drunk, he kissed me.”

Okay, so far so good. That’s what I figured must have happened. The question is… “What did you do when he did that? It’s a long way from a drunken kiss to snuggling in bed together.”

Kian nods, still not meeting my gaze. “I kissed him back. I don’t fully understand what happened these past few months, Dylan. I swear to God I didn’t set out to hurt you. It just… Silas and I, we are so… We click. We fit in a way I didn’t think a couple could fit.”

Damn, that hurts. I sip my coffee, trying not to tear up. All that time, I was trying to make things work with him, feeling guilty about my connection with Andre, and Kian just gave in at the very first kiss. He never truly loved me, did he? How else could he move on so easily?

“We hadn’t been getting along for a while,” Kian says, sounding defensive now. “I thought what we had was good, I wanted to make it work, I really thought I loved you, but… when I met Silas… I didn’t know it could be like that.”

Oh my fucking God. Did he just say he thought he loved me? So I was right all along. He never loved me. I truly did love him, even though our relationship was never easy, not even at the start.

“Why didn’t you just break up with me?” I bite out. “I lost my apartment because of you. I was miserable trying to make things work, not able to figure out exactly what was wrong. You even accused me of cheating on you with my friends, for crying out loud. So, you fell in love with Silas. That… happens, I guess. You could have just confessed to me after that kiss and told me to take a hike.”

“Silas was straight,” Kian says like that explains everything. “Well, he thought he was. He’s obviously not, but he needed time to figure that out.”

“What the hell kind of an excuse is that?” I’m getting angrier by the second. “Even if he’d been straight, and he just wanted a drunken experiment with you, it was up to you not to cheat on me. It was up to you to tell me you were falling for someone else. Doesn’t matter if the guy is straight, bi or gay. You loved him instead of me, and you didn’t think I deserved to know?”

“I was scared.” Finally, Kian looks up, his eyes wet with unshed tears. “You’re the first person in my whole entire life who accepted me the way I was, faults and all. You knew who I was, every ugly bit of me, and you still wanted me. That’s hard to give up on, Dylan. I didn’t do this to hurt you. I fell in love with someone else, didn’t know what to fuck to do with that, especially since he wasn’t sure if he was even into men, and I was scared to lose you.”

I was his fucking safety net. He never loved me for me. He just loved how accepting I am. How supportive. How forgiving. “You’re an asshole,” I bite out. “He was in our home all week, wasn’t he? Every single day I was gone? And that road trip you took, was that even a real road trip?”

Kian shakes his head, guilt flashing in his eyes. “We booked a hotel room that day. It was… it was our first time.”

I feel sick now. “All that time, you were still having sex with me, Kian. Fucking hell, I probably need to get tested to make sure that fucker didn’t give me an STD. Why would you…? That night after the road trip, you came home and immediately texted me pics of sex toys. We had insane sex that night.” I shudder at the memory. “And now you’re telling me that was after… after you spent the whole day in a hotel room with him?”

Kian doesn’t look as contrite as I expected him to. “Don’t act all innocent. It’s not like you were being faithful to me back then.”

“What?” My voice is trembling with rage, and so is my body. I put down my mug and clutch the edge of the table. “You’re the cheater here, Kian. Not me.”

“I know all about you and Andre,” he hisses, leaning forward. “Here you are, acting all innocent and perfect, but I was right to doubt you all along, wasn’t I?”

“Me and Andre?” I groan when I realize where he got that idea. “Kyle told you. Of course he did. Yeah, we’re sort of dating, if you must know. But nothing ever happened before you and I broke up.”

“Bullshit.” He doesn’t believe me for even a second. “Of all people you could sleep with, you chose him to cheat on me?”

I get up so fast it makes me a little dizzy, slamming my fist on the table. “You’re an ever bigger asshole than I already thought. I did not cheat on you! Sure, there was a vibe, but unlike you and Silas, Andre and I never acted on it. I came home early that night to talk to you about how confused I was, because yeah, I did have feelings for Andre those last couple of months. But I did the only right thing to do. I didn’t kiss him, most certainly didn’t book a hotel room, and came home to talk to my boyfriend about it instead, to figure out what to do.” I’m fuming, and my hands are itching to hit him. “Don’t try to excuse your bad behavior by pretending I am just as bad. I’m not. And Andre most certainly isn’t anything like Silas.”

“Don’t you talk shit about Silas,” Kian replies icily calm, getting up as well.

“Like you’re one to talk. You care more about looks and weight than about being a decent person. Guess what? I think Andre is sexy as fuck, he’s a way better kisser than you, and a million times the man you are.” I bend down to grab the box of my stuff. “I hope he cheats on you and gives you a taste of your own medicine. Karma is a bitch, Kian. You’ll see.”

It’s a completely empty threat, but what else can I say? This man… I can’t believe I was with him for that long. Loved him, moved in with him, imagined a future with him.

“Like you’re so much better!” he shouts after me when I turn to walk away from him. “You told Aston to make my life a living hell, didn’t you?”

I look at him over my shoulder. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Now excuse me, I need to go somewhere where you aren’t, because being around you makes me feel sick to my stomach.”

With that, I walk out and rush to my car, dumping all my stuff on the backseat. That was so much worse than even my craziest nightmare. In an effort to keep myself from crying, I call Aston on speaker phone before I pull out of the parking lot.

“The hottest man on earth is speaking,” he says as he picks up. “How may I help you?”

I laugh at that. “Hey you weirdo. Kian just accused me of telling you to make his life hell. Care to tell me what that is about?”

“Oh, sure.” Aston grunts. “I know you don’t want Anna to fire him, and she won’t do it anyway, but she did give me the key to his office. So I’ve been peeing all over the damn place every single day after he leaves the building. Plants, pen holders, old mugs… You name it, I’ve peed in it.”

“Oh my God, you’re insane.” I can’t stop laughing, feeling so much lighter than I did a few seconds ago.

“I did that to Silas’ office the night I met Anna,” he says proudly. “I think it’s one of the many things that made her fall in love with me, in fact. Also, I may have painted the word cheater on his door, and every time he takes it off I just put it right back up. I have balloons with the word bastard on it delivered to his house every single day, making the delivery guy tie them to his porch. Oh, and those flowers he’s allergic to, what are they called again…?”

“Chrysanthemums.”

“Yeah, those. I’ve been making sure every single room in the whole entire office building is filled with them.” He laughs without humor. “I’d much rather fuck him up so bad he needs to pay a visit to the ER, but Anna won’t let me. She threatened to not have sex with me for a full month if I do something that might get me arrested, so… yeah. Sorry, man, but I have kids. And I love having sex with my wife.”

This man. I fucking love him.

“You keep it up with the pee and the flowers,” I tell him, feeling grateful to have friends like him. “And… thank you.”

“Anything for you, man. I hate cheaters.” He sounds genuinely upset. “I know I was a massive slut before I met Anna, but I never cheated on anyone. I also never willingly helped anyone cheat. I had a code, man. I was a single guy who liked to sleep around, but I wasn’t a complete dick or anything. Whenever I’d find out a girl had a boyfriend, I’d stop whatever I had going on with her and I’d tell the guy his girl was fucking me. People deserve to know what their partner is up to.”

“Hear hear.” Truer words were never spoken.

“I need to go, my next client is walking into the gym. You good?”

“Way better now that I know about you peeing in his office.”

“Want me to do it to Silas too?”

“Yes please.”

“Consider it done.”

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