#6 Nothing some water and baking soda won’t fix
The moment we reach Kian’s house at the end of the day, the tension between us returns. It’s like the moment his front door shuts behind us, we forget all about the fun we had at the birthday party. We’re back to angry and disappointed.
“So,” I start when Kian doesn’t. “Is this going to be a conversation best had with tea or booze?”
“Wine,” he replies right away, kicking off his shoes and hanging up his coat. “Definitely wine.”
I spend about half my nights here, I’ve cooked in his kitchen a million times, and I think I might have even bought half of the groceries currently in the fridge, so I know exactly where to find two glasses and his favorite bottle of red wine.
It’s not my favorite, though. I’d honestly rather drink beer. Up until now I’ve always joined him when he opens a bottle of wine, but this time I decide not to. Instead, I grab a beer from the fridge – one I bought, he’s never once bought beer for me – and open it before walking back into the living room with our drinks.
“Oh?” he says when I settle down on the couch next to him. “No wine for you?”
“I’m actually more of a beer guy.” I take a sip, wondering how the hell it’s possible that he doesn’t know that. Does Kian know me at all? I mean, yeah, he knows my body. Intimately. But does he know the things that matter? He didn’t even know I’m good with kids. Everyone knows that about me.
“How long have we been together now?” I ask him, shifting a bit so I’m facing him. I draw up my legs and settle against the armrest, a pillow propped up behind me.
“Officially?” Kian asks, a little surprised by my question. “I don’t know… We never really decided on a day, did we? I mean, we discussed wanting to be more than…”
“Fuckbuddies,” I finish for him. “Yeah, I know.” I don’t say anything more, waiting for him to go on.
He scratches the back of his neck. “We weren’t immediately in a relationship, I think. Took us a few weeks to get there, and then I heard you calling me your boyfriend over the phone one day, I think you were talking to Thomas, and I was like… Yeah, that’s what I am. That’s what I wanna be.”
Oh. I didn’t know that. I thought he was the first one to call me that. I remember hanging out with him, and his mother called and asked who he was spending so much time with these days, and he said all casually: “my boyfriend”. That meant something to me. That he was the one to put a label on things. Turns out I was the one who did that, and he just followed my lead. I don’t know what to do with that, so I don’t say anything. It’s not a big deal, after all. It’s the result that matters. We’re definitely in a relationship now.
“I think that was two months after we met,” Kian goes on. “So… I think we’ve been together for five months? Yeah, we met seven months ago, right?”
“Six months, two weeks, and three days ago,” I mutter without even having to think about it.
That makes Kian smile. “You’re so cute, knowing all those details.”
“I didn’t feel very cute today when you allowed your father to talk to me like I was nothing but dogshit he stepped in.” There. I said it. He made me feel like absolute shit, and I think I’m allowed to call him out for it. I don’t know why I’m so hesitant to tell Kian I’m not pleased with him. I think because I’ve never really done it before. I felt this way at the start too, when I knew I wanted more and he treated me like a booty call, even after we had the talk about taking things to the next level. I never said anything, too afraid of losing him. Loving someone is to fear them leaving you. The last thing I want is for Kian to walk out on me.
“I know,” he replies, looking utterly distraught. “That was wrong of me. You’re absolutely right. I should have stood up for you.”
Okay, I was not expecting that. He looks so sad that I can’t help but want to comfort him. I scoot over and put a hand over his, squeezing. “Is he always like that, your dad?”
Kian nods, looking away from me. He may be 39, but at this moment he looks more like a 9-year-old boy, wanting his father’s approval more than anything. “Always. Standing up to him… It’s futile. Last time I did was when I broke off my engagement.”
“Nine years ago.” I can’t believe it’s been that long. If my father treated me like that… No, I don’t think I’d let him. Then again, I don’t know. I can’t judge Kian. When you’re not in that position, you can’t possibly know what you would do. I remember being terrified of my father not loving me anymore when I came out to him. Imagine feeling like that even after coming out. No rainbow flags and weird yet sweet acts of support, but disapproval and grunts.
“Nine years,” Kian echoes, taking a sip of his wine. “What can I do? He’s never going to change, and he’s my dad. He tries, in his own way. I know it’s hard to see that, but when I just came out, he refused to meet the guy I was seeing at the time. Downright refused to even open the door for us when we showed up unannounced since he wasn’t answering my calls. The fact that he’s now willing to come out to meet the person I love… It’s a big thing, Dylan. I know it doesn’t seem that way to you. Your father was lovely when I met him, and all your friends are crazy accepting.”
“You don’t have people like that in your life,” I realize. I think I knew this all along, but I’ve never felt it quite as deeply as I do at this moment. Looking into his eyes, I see the pain. Old pain, that has probably been there all his life. He must have known his family wouldn’t accept him even when he was a kid, feeling different from others.
“I have you.” He looks at me with so much love it hurts. “You accept me the way I am.”
I put down my beer so I can wrap my arms around him, pulling him in for a kiss. Of course I accept him for who he is. When he’s stripped down to his core like this, I see the man I fell for seven months ago. The absolutely amazing person who makes me feel calm and at peace when he holds me. My mind can be a very overwhelming place at times, and to have someone who calms me down is a huge thing for me. Only Thom and Mila have ever made me feel that way before. With Thomas, it’s strictly friendly. He’s like my brother. And Mila didn’t want me in a romantic way, so that evolved into a sibling kind of love as well. Kian and I… He’s the only person who can both fuck my brains out and make me feel like the world is no longer spinning so fast I’m getting nauseous.
“I love you,” Kian whispers, carefully putting away his wineglass before embracing me again. “I’m sorry about today.”
I kiss him over and over again, not knowing how to show him my love with mere words. I talk a lot, all damn day, but when push comes to shove, my love language is definitely touch. All the way. “I love you too,” I murmur against his skin, tugging at his shirt. “You know I do.”
He leans back so I can take his shirt off, his hands already working on the button on my jeans. Just like that, we go from zero to a hundred. I scratch my nails down his back while he shoves his hand into my pants, grabbing my cock through my boxer briefs. I’m already hard, and I attack his neck with my mouth, licking a path from his shoulder all the way up to his earlobe, nipping at it with a growl.
“Fuuuck,” he groans, moving over me so he’s on top of me on the couch. His weight on me feels amazing, and so does his throbbing cock against my thigh.
“Too many clothes,” I complain, squeezing his ass.
He pushes off me and stands beside the couch, stepping out of his jeans and boxers while I get naked as fast as possible as well, throwing my socks at his head. He catches one with a disgruntled expression.
“Ugh, why do you always do that?”
I laugh, motioning for him to join me again. “Because you look so cute with your nose scrunched up like that.”
“Oh yeah?” He’s back on top of me in a heartbeat, holding my wrists above my head with only one hand while the other wraps around my shaft. “Do I still look cute now?”
Words fail me. I can only pant, moan, and thrust up into his hand. He knows I love this. He knows I get horny as fuck when he takes charge, overpowering me. I’m pretty versatile in the bedroom – comes with the territory of sleeping with both men and women, I think – but when I’m with a man, I definitely like to be the bottom most of the time. Kian is very much a top, in every single way, and I’m definitely not complaining about that. At all.
“I want you on your stomach, right now,” he growls, rising up so I can roll over for him.
Two seconds later, his teeth sink into my ass, and I cry out in pain and pleasure alike. He soothes the stain with his tongue, and then his hands part my cheeks and he softly blows on my sensitive place. I shiver, and then the sensation turns to full-on trembling when he starts to rim me. Usually, I’ll clean up before we go at it, especially when he will use his mouth on me like this, but there is no way I’m stopping him now.
“Fuck yes,” I moan, needing so much more. “Fuck me, Kian.”
“You know I will, babe. You know I will.” His finger rubs against me now, and I feel him reach over to the coffee table to open the drawer where we keep a bottle of lube. He didn’t use to keep lube all over the house, but we got carried away in the kitchen a while ago. It ended with me hurting for three days because I was not properly lubricated, so I bought ten bottles and told him to keep them all over his place. Now we never have to take things into the bedroom if we’re too horny to stop.
Oh boy, do I love that idea now.
His finger slips in with ease. Then another one. When I start pushing back against him, he adds a third one. With how often we fuck, I feel like I’m always ready for him in a matter of seconds.
“I’m good,” I grunt. “Now, Kian, right fucking now.”
He doesn’t oblige. Instead, he takes a few more minutes, making sure I’m wide and open, lubed up all the way. I’m pretty much humping the goddamn couch in frustration when he finally moves over me, his lubed-up cock rubbing between my cheeks. The moment he slides home, I hiss at the sensation. It’s uncomfortable for a brief moment, but when I exhale and relax again, it turns to nothing but bliss.
“So tight.” Kian’s voice is deep and sexy, making me even harder. “Take me, babe. Take me all the way.”
“Yessss,” I breathe, shifting a little so he can drill me deeper and harder. “Like that.”
He pulls my ass up so he can wrap a hand around my shaft, jacking me off while he fucks me. It feels so good to connect like this, on way more than a physical level. He’s hitting all the right spots, all my nerve-endings feel like they’re on fire, and I’m moaning so loud that if I’d be home in my apartment, the neighbors would be able to know exactly how good he makes me feel. He keeps telling me how good I feel, how much he wants me, how he’s going to come all over me, how much he loves me…
Those last words undo me, and I feel my balls draw up right before I come all over the couch, grunting into the pillows. Holy. Fuck. I needed that.
He pulls out right before he comes, shooting his load all over my back and ass. He loves doing that, spreading his cum over my skin with his hand like he’s marking his territory. Not that he needs to. I’m his. All his.
“Fuck, we made a mess,” he groans, but I can hear the smile in his voice. “Like we always do.”
“Nothing some water and baking soda won’t fix.” I’m talking from experience. It’s hardly the first time I’ve stained his couch.
I stay on my stomach while he gets a wet towel, returning to clean my back off with such tenderness it makes me tear up a little. He cleans the couch, and I trace patterns on his back while he gets my cum out of the couch cushions.
It may sound strange, but I love these little post-sex rituals. I know what’s coming next, and I love that part even more.
“Shower?” Kian asks the moment he gets up, still naked.
“Bath,” I reply like I always do.
The man has the most luxurious bathtub in the whole damn world. I make good money too, but I don’t live the way he does. I just don’t care enough to move out of the apartment I started renting when Thom and I weren’t doing quite so well yet. I love my building, the people in it, and my life there. But damn, I love Kian’s big-ass house too, especially the bathtub.
Ten minutes later, I’m settled between his legs, my back against his chest. He massages my scalp with expert fingers while the air fills with the scent of sandalwood.
“Hmm,” I murmur. “So good. Could stay here forever.”
“With you, I could too.” He wraps his arms around me, sighing deeply. “Dylan, I’m so sorry about today. I swear I’ll do better. Maybe…”
“Maybe?” I repeat, curious what he’ll say next.
“Are you going to see your little brother this weekend?” he asks tentatively.
“Every Saturday morning.” He knows that. I take Blaze on a little adventure once a week so we can bond. I love that little dude, but when you don’t grow up together, it’s easy to drift apart. I don’t want to feel like his uncle. I’m his big brother, no matter how much older I am than him, thanks to my dad remarrying someone half his age and starting a new family. I used to feel a bit resentful of that, but Blaze is just too good a kid not to love him. It’s not his fault our dad left me and Mom when I was 5.
“Can I come?”
I freeze. I used to ask him to tag along all the time, but he always said he was too busy, so I stopped asking. He’s only met Blaze twice, even though I see the kid at least weekly. For him to ask to come along now means the world to me. He’s definitely not all talk – he’s taking action already. Maybe he won’t stand up to his dad for me, but he does listen to me. He knows I want him to know my friends and family. My little brother is a great start.
“We’re going to the zoo,” I say, my heart hammering in my chest. “I’d love it if you’d come. Blaze really likes the giraffes.”
“Who doesn’t love giraffes?” Kian starts massaging my scalp again, making me melt into a little puddle. The man has magic hands, a magic dick, just magic everything really.
“So you want to come?”
He grunts, his dick jumping back to life against my lower back. “Sorry, I know you didn’t mean the question like that,” he says with a laugh. “Totally inappropriate. Yes, I’d love to go to the zoo with you and Blaze.”
Of course, I’m already back in the mood, reaching behind me to jerk him off. Everything is warm, wet, and soapy, making this feel like a dirty dream smelling like sandalwood. I love getting frisky in the bathtub. Especially since I can do this…
I turn around and order him to sit on the edge. He does as he’s told, his legs spread wide. I remain in the hot water, cupping his balls with my hand, tugging at them softly. He groans in appreciation. I press a kiss to the tip of his cock, my free hand moving underwater so I can jerk off while I blow him. His eyes are on me, lust clear to read in them.
“Love it when you touch yourself.”
“Love the way you taste,” I reply right before I dive in, taking him all the way inside of me. He’s a lot bigger than I am, but not much bigger than average. I think he’s perfect. Just absolutely perfect.
I lick my way up and down his shaft while I suck him, playing with his balls the way he likes. He grabs my head, urging me to go faster. I’m always happy to take direction, my hand around my own dick picking up the pace as well.
“Coming,” he warns me after a few minutes. “Ah fuck, Dylan, coming so hard.”
I suck him deeper, giving him that last push. When his cum fills my mouth, I come as well.
“You’re so sexy,” Kian murmurs when I get out of the tub and start toweling off. He’s still sitting on the edge of the tub, trying to pull himself back together.
“Let’s go to bed, baby.” I wrap the towel around my waist and start to dry him off as well. I love taking care of him in small ways like these, and he loves to let me. When he’s dry too, we both brush our teeth and blow-dry our hair. We share the pet peeve of going to bed with wet hair. It should be illegal, really.
He keeps touching and kissing me during our bedtime routine, and I feel so loved tonight that I can finally truly let go of the last bit of resentment from what happened earlier today. He’s trying. I can’t expect him to transform into a completely different person in one measly day, and he doesn’t have to. I think he’s amazing already. I just need a little more… commitment, I guess. More involvement in my life. I saw him trying to do just that at the party today, and going with me to hang out with Blaze is another step in that direction.
We’re so good together when it’s just us. If we can be that way in the outside world as well, there truly will be nothing left to wish for.
We cuddle in bed, talking about meaningless stuff for over an hour. Movies we want to see, actors we think are sexy, our favorite animals, weird pet peeves he has like me throwing my socks at him, and mine like him leaving his nails clippings in the bathroom sink. We’ve been like this from the start. Even at the start, when we were just hooking up, we’d stay up for hours to talk about… well, life, I guess. We shared our views on everything from politics to the exact shade of blue jeans should be to make your ass look great.
“Love you,” Kian murmurs when he starts to fall asleep.
“Love you more,” I whisper back, kissing his nose.
“Impossible,” he replies just like he always does.
Wrapped around each other like that, we both drift off to sleep.