Always

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Chapter 6

I sat in silence while Kevin and Andrew chit chatted about random things. I zoned in and out of my day dreams thinking about different things. I caught random things that the boys were talking about. They mostly talked about sports but at one point I was hearing about Kevin’s grandma and her cats diet, I don’t know why that was a conversation topic at a party, but it was Kevin, so it kinda made since. My mind wondered in and out of different places but for some reason it always came back to one.
I think I was fourteen, the last time I truly remember my dad being stone cold sober. Most of my memories of my dad weren’t the best and so therefore they were very vague, but this one, I remember it like it was yesterday. I’ve always wanted a dad, and once for only a couple minutes, I got one. It was the first time I got my heart broken by a stupid boy. I came storming into our old apartment and fell on the couch not knowing anyone was home. I remember how my tears stained the white pillows my mom had just bought. I remember the feeling of my heart falling to pieces, it was otherworldly painful. I remember all I wanted was to be held but no one was there to hold me. As I sobbed on the sofa I felt a warm and gentle hand rest on my back. I sat up to find my dad staring back into my tear stained eyes. I thought he was going give me the lecture about how him and mom told me not to fall and I didn’t listen. I fell hard, so hard. This boy was my best friend, and even though I was only fourteen I loved him to death, or so I thought. Stupid boy, was the only thing my mind pondered on. The lump in my throat wouldn’t go away as I waited for my dad to say something. He took his hand and wiped away my tears and right then I knew I would never get to see my dad again, my real dad, the dad he was when he wasn’t wasted. He brought me into his arms and finally I let the lump in my throat go and cried in my dads arms. “It’s okay Hailee.” I remember him saying. “Daddy’s got you,” his voice faded and my ears rang to the loud music as I came back to reality
“Kevin!” I got up out of my chair. Alarmed, both of the boys stared up at me. “Kevin I…I need to get out of here.” I could barley speak.
“Oh okay, do you want me to give you a ride home?” Kevin asked and stood up as well. I felt overloaded with stress and anxiety, all I wanted to do was fall over and cry, I felt the whole world was against me. I was fighting the urge to breakdown then and there, I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t do this anymore, I had to go. Without answering Kevin I rushed around and stormed towards the door. I ran straight into someone and the impact took me by surprise. Nobody stopped dancing, no one stopped talking, clocks kept ticking, but when I met his blue eyes time stood still. I felt each and every heart beat trying to break out of my chest. He held my arms from when I ran into him and kept me steady. When he finally noticed to tears swelling in my eyes and the worried look on my face his entire expression changed.
“Hey,” Zeke said. “It’s okay Hailee,” but all I could hear was my dads words coming from someone else’s mouth. I bit my lip to hold in the tears and ran for the door. Fresh air felt good but it sure didn’t make everything better.
“Hey!” I heard Zeke yell from a ways behind me. God, why did he care!
“Leave me alone!” I yelled at him and kept walking.
“Hey you’re the one that ran into me! Twice!” He finally caught up to me and cut me off from walking any farther.
“What do you mean twice? I only…” I had to stop myself before I led Zeke on to believe I was a drama queen. And also I remembered. It was him that I ran into on my way out of the bathroom last Monday. “Oh,” was all I could manage. I carried on walking, I had to get home and if I stood around any longer I wouldn’t get there until morning.
“What are you doing?” Zeke asked.
“Going home.” I told him, not looking back.
“Your walking?” He asked.
“What does it look like?” I yelled. He stood still, hesitant on what to do next.
“Why are you so moody?” Was he seriously asking me that right now?
“I am not moody!” I told him.
“You’re an emotional wreck! Your not okay!” He said. He wasn’t far from the truth but who was he to decide if I were okay or not?
“I am fine!” I said.
“Bull!” He yelled even louder. I stopped dead in my tracks. “That’s bs Hailee! That’s bs and you know it! We all got skeletons in our closets! So shove your damn pride to the side and let me drive you home!” Zeke demanded. I slowly and and hesitantly walked back towards him with my head down in surrender.
“You must think I’m such a jerk, huh?” I asked him as we walked back to his car. The nights were surprisingly cool here, it felt so good with the moonlight washing over me and the stars were dancing in the sky.
“Just get in the damn car,” Zeke said with a smile. And I did so.

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