My heart was thudding so loudly in my chest, I was almost scared Brandon might hear it and wake from his peaceful sleep in the back of the car. I had just pulled up in front of my parent's house. We finally made it, at now two in the morning. I didn’t want to stop for yet another night at a motel, so I just kept driving.
I knew nobody would be awake to help me with Brandon or our bags, so I opted to just unbuckle him and lock our things in my vehicle. It always felt so amazing every time I pick him up and he curls his little fingers into the ends of my hair and holds on tight. It was almost a comfort mechanism since he was a baby. I quietly dug around for my old key and let us in. At four almost five, Brandon was becoming a bit tall and heavy for me to lug around, but I can’t lie, I love it. I quietly tip-toed up to my old room and without turning on the light, laid Brandon down and then cuddled behind him, and fell asleep myself.
I dreamt of Bently that night. Again. It seemed that the closer to Allie’s and Josh’s wedding it got the more often he invaded her thoughts and dreams. Dreams of their life, if she had included Bently. Perfect moments she filed away and tried not to rethink.
When she woke the next day, their bags were in my old room and Brandon was nowhere in sight. I had a panic moment but quickly got over it as soon as Brandon’s giggles floated up the stairs and into my ears. I smiled and stretched and then made my way down to join in the fun.
“Good morning sweetheart. Did you sleep well?” Her father asked never once looking up from the nonsense go fish game he was playing with Brandon at the moment.
“Yeah, I did. You didn’t have to bring in our bags, I was going to get them. Where’s mom?” I asked him as he said an ‘aw man’ again and Brandon’s giggles filled the kitchen.
“She is napping. Come on bud, let’s go to the park. Tell mommy you love her, but grandpop is stealing you away for the day.” My dad laughed and Brandon quickly did as he was told and hugged her tightly then took off to grab his sneakers from her old room.
“Napping? What in the world? What time is it?” I asked as I glanced around for a clock. They had changed things since I left.
“It is currently one thirty in the afternoon my darling. We will be back. Enjoy your rest and downtime.” My dad happily said as he bent over to help Brandon with his shoes. With it being summer I knew he didn’t need a jacket and such, I was glad to be awarded a little time off. I love Brandon and being his mom, but being a single mom was about the hardest thing I could ever imagine. I hated leaving him in daycare any longer than necessary. I would be more than happy in the fall once he started kindergarten. For now, it was work and being a mom and all over again the next day. We did fun things every now and again, but mostly it was just work and mommy time.
“Thanks, Dad, I love you, you guys have fun and Brandon?” I waited for his gorgeous green eyes to land on mine before I continued. “Listen to your grandpop OK?” He nodded eagerly up at me.
“Yes momma, I promise,” Brandon said to me so cutely it should be illegal.
With one last kiss, I sent them on their way and returned to my old room once more.
I smiled as I scanned the various pictures across my room. My old walls were filled with so many good memories. It brought sudden tears to my eyes when I spotted a picture from high school graduation.
I was smiling along with Allie, Josh, and Bently. I was squeezed tight in his arms and he was whispering in my ear. I could still remember what he had said. ‘I love you, Jenny, now and forever.’ His words had caused the girlish smile on my face and the red blush that covered it.
There was so much promise in his words that day. But that was all they were, words with an empty promise of forever.
I let the tears fall freely as I stared at more pictures of myself and Bently.
We were such an adorable couple. We looked fantastic together.
Almost instantly I didn’t want to be here any longer. In the room with all the memories of Bently, the bed where we had made love.
I grabbed my keys and practically ran to my car. I got in and wasn’t really thinking as I drove.
I ended up parked where Bently had parked so many days and nights. I was here. Our spot. My hands shook as I thought about getting out and making the unmarked journey to our spot. I imagined how it would feel to trace our initials on the rock Bently had carved five years ago. I imagined how it would feel to see the shore where Brandon was conceived. I shivered from the thought.
My emotions got the better of me and I sped off.
Everything felt like too much. The emotions I ran from for years was too much. I decided to make a quick stop on my way back to my parent's house.
Allie and Josh had decided to move back to town after they had finished college whereas I stayed as far from town as I could. I remained in Florida actually.
Luckily, since I was a bridesmaid, I had their address. I quickly found my way there and parked my car. Before I could even get out my heart stopped.
There he was, more handsome than ever. His curly black hair cut short, but still, long enough you could see how curly it was. His face lit up in a genuine smile. He had become broader over the years, more muscular.
I didn't know what to do besides sit there and stare at everything I lost so many years ago when I gained Brandon.
If at all possible my heart sank further still when a minx of a woman snaked her arms around his waist and held him close. Josh and Allie stood close, the four of them laughing and having a good old time.
So what did I do you may ask?
I left. I peeled off so fast I was sure they all noticed me even when I didn't want them to.
OK, so hey you guys :) This here will be my first ever series I write :D I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I hope you all enjoyed this first chapter :) Drop a comment on me and let me know your thoughts so far :D Hit that like <3 button if you love it !