My Sweetest Downfall

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Chapter 1

Monday, 8:25 am.

Well, this is by far my earliest arrival in school. I usually arrive at 8:45-9:15. And yes, that always leaves me in Detention when I reach the limit – Heck, I’m even friends with the Guidance counselor in our school, already. I don’t have any problem with anything. I just tend to become an optimist when it comes to time, thinking that I always still have a lot of time left. I guess I’m not the greatest when it comes to time management, eh?

I walked in a slightly fast pace, and entered the room of my first class.

“Ms. Gonzales. Glad to see that you’re earlier than usual. Take a seat.”

I sat down, and snickered, being quite impressed with myself for arriving a bit early. Pretty darn good for my first try, I’d say.

I felt someone poke me from my left, “Well, congratulations on your early arrival.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” I chuckled silently.

“But, you know you should still do better than that, right?” The person from my right said.

I shrugged and let out a slight laugh.


“Seriously, Scarlet. It wouldn’t hurt to give your backpack a makeover. No wonder your books look like they were taken out of the garbage truck.”

“They look fine,” I smiled, grabbing my bag to take a closer look.

“Tell that to the rats.”

My books were so broken and folded out of shape that it seemed like a horde of mice went inside my locker and feasted on it. I was really bad with handling my stuff. I intend to leave them around and just look for them when I desperately need them, or just put them in some place carelessly without any organization. The only thing you would see me fixing, or at least, never letting it go with the chaos in my room, was my shelf of pictures and CD albums.

Oh, and he’s Ivan McGregor. I can probably say he’s like an existing Blaine Anderson from Glee. His sexuality, how he dresses, how he talks, his facial expressions, it’s all 100% Blaine. It’s amazing.

“So, off to somewhere after classes, Scarlet?”

I pressed my lips together, “Mmm… I’ll just probably go to the park. Play with some words, think of new melodies,” I goofily winked at Laura, mimicking a click sound and point my finger at her.

Laura Dixon, the ultimate athlete in our whole school. She’s like the jack of all trades when it comes to sports. She can play anything and she’s practically good at every sport she plays. She’d say she’s weak when it comes to track & field, she says she can only sprint 100 m in 12 seconds. I mean, I sprint 60 m in 15 seconds. She’s mad.

“Well, I’m gonna be training today. Do you mind if you wait for me to get finished?”

“Sure. I know Ivan’s in favor, anyway,” I teased, resting my elbow on his shoulder.

Ivan snickered bashfully, “Quit it, Scarlet. I know where you’re going.”

“Well, she definitely has a point,” Laura laughed.

“Is that so?”

“Hell yeah. After all, you’d get to stare all you want with your googly eyes at Trevor and his orgasmic abs,” Laura laughed as she made face in tease.

“I swear, you can never pull off an orgasm look with that bitchy face,” Ivan chuckled loudly.


Ivan and I sat on the bench, watching Laura run around in the oval of the school.

Ivan was busy scrolling through his phone while I had my earphones plugged in my ears as I observed the environment around me to get some inspiration for lyrics.

We’ll carry on, and though you’re dead and gone believe me, your memory will carry ooooon!

Ahhhh. Such a classic song. One of the best.

Well, I can’t form any words in my head right now, so I might as well just enjoy the scenery.

“Hey, Scarlet…”

I pulled out one of the plugs, “Yeah?”

He faced his phone to me, showing a photo posted on our school’s official page.

’OUR 50th ANNIVERSARY PRESENTS:

DROP THE BEAT

This time, we going ROCK N’ ROLL!!!

Sing your heart out & Get lost in the music of

TOXIC REMEDY

with special guest Haley Winters

September 12, Friday, 7-11 pm

DRESS TO IMPRESS!!’

“They really had to add ’Dress to impress’? It’s not like the people here don’t do it everyday,” I snickered.

Ivan rolled his eyes with a sigh, “I am not talking about that. I’m talking about THIS!”

He pointed to the name, ‘Toxic Remedy’.

“Ohhh… well, it is exciting! I should really bring my camera, holy shit! I need to take a lot of pictures of them for my blog! I’d definitely get 10,000 views from it!” I exclaimed in excitement.

Ivan looked at me with a drop dead ’Are you kidding me?’ face.

“What? You know I’m not a hardcore fan. They’re a catchy”

“Well, at least try to pretend to be excited for me. FOR ME! I’m the hardcore fan here! So yes, I’m seriously excited!”

“Okay, uhh… YAAAY! You’re favorite band’s coming, Ivan!” I yelled in a happy tune sarcastically, shaking him violently.

Both of us were laughing hard until it slowly faded.

“Why don’t you like that band, anyway? I mean, they’re in your genre. With all alternative-ish, punk-ish rock thing.”

“Hey, I like them, okay? But, I just don’t find most of their song catchy. It sounds too… pop. And just because they’re in my type of genre, it doesn’t mean I’d instantly like them.”

Ivan snickered, “Wow, you sound like you’re talking about relationship problems.”

“Well, screw you,” I gave Ivan a weak punch on the arm while cackling.

“But, you gotta agree; Caleb Heverly is just the bomb!”

I smiled, nodding my head “Well, yeah, he’s pretty hot. He’s like picture ready. His goofy, candid shots look like he was instructed to pose like that. Damn.”

“There’s not a single soul in this high school that doesn’t wanna sleep with him… hell, there’s not a single soul in the world!”

I raised my hand, “Yes, there is! Me. I find him hot, but I don’t see him… desirable.

“Oh, poof. That’s just because you’re still fantasizing on the one that got away.”

I stared at the bottom of the bench and could not help but let a sly smile escape the tip of my lips.

Peripherally, I could see Ivan scratching the back of his head, “Scarlet, don’t you think it’s time to forget about that? It’s been years since you last heard from him.”

“No.”

Ivan only sighed and shrugged, “Okay then.”


I opened the doors of my home and dropped my bag on the couch carelessly. And as I took one footstep inside, something charged towards me, and I knelt down and opened my arms.

“Hey there, Fluffy. How’s my little boy, huh?”

A small pug suddenly ran towards me as I let him get himself wrapped around my arms. His twisted, little tail wiggled with such glee as I scratched his head, letting him lick my face and welcome me back home, as if we haven’t seen each other for months.

I stood up and walked to the kitchen as Fluffy followed behind. I took a peak and saw my mother by the sink, washing up the utensils she used to make dinner. Mom always wanted stuff to be prepared right away. So, she would do anything to have those followed, whether it was a proposal submission for her job or even eating dinner. She would prepare those stuff like an hour or two early (its dinner that we’re focusing on, right?) so that she would be sure that we would not miss it. But, aside from that, she was really sweet and perky. I was pretty close with my mom. I’d tell her everything that I enjoyed at school and tell her my problems. I mean, we’re the only ones left for ourselves, so why be so distant with each other, right?

“Hey, mom,” I went closer to my mom and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Oh, hey, honey. Well, you’re quite early, today.”

I sighed normally as I opened the fridge, getting out some doughnuts mom bought last night, “Mom, you just made it sound like I go anywhere every day without any of your concerns.”

Mom smiled as she mixed the ingredients in a bowl, “Half true.”

I sat down by the table in the middle of the kitchen as I took a huge bite on the blueberry cheesecake flavored doughnut.

“Your school’s 50th anniversary is in a few months, right?”

“Yup.”

“Got anything special instored on those days?” My mom’s head turned to my direction.

“Oh yeah, the band Toxic Remedy’s gonna be performing in school on that week,” I said with my mouth full, giving some of my doughnut to Fluffy.

“Well, that sounds fun. Got a lot of fangirling news, over there at your school?” Mom teased.

“You bet. I could hear that topic until I left the gates of school.”

Mom knew that Toxic Remedy was a band more than half of the earth adored and admired because of their passion for music, their talent, and looks. Though, they were a Rock band, and a lot of people did not find that genre quite alluring, they were able to scratch that out and let other people love the genre.

“Well, I’m guessing it still has it perks for you. Got something huge to post in your blog, after all,” she smiled.

“And that’s exactly what I’m excited about.”

My mom giggled lightly as she faced back to me, “Oh, by the way, Scarlet, Mr. Doyle wants to see you this Saturday afternoon.”

“Uncle Doyle?! Why so sudden?” I clarified with a tone of surprise.

His full name’s David Doyle. He was dad’s best friend and co-office worker back in the company my dad used to work in, and yeah, obviously, he’s my uncle. He had not lost his touch with us, eversince, and still continued to be a great Uncle and friend towards me and my mom. If you needed any kind of help, you could just approach him and with just one walk in his office and you’re done. He was a great guy.

“Dunno. He’s probably gonna hand out to you your father’s gift for your 18th birthday. I mean, he did bring that topic up when I spoke to him on the phone.”

My birthday was still away for like a month. The cold wind was starting to be felt by everyone, but even so, why give it now? I mean, he could just give the gift to me like from a week before my birthday or maybe even on my birthday itself... It just didn’t make any sense that time.

“Why is something like that with him, anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be the one holding it?”

My mom scoffed, “Honey, you know that once I get a hold of something like that, I’d have given it to you right after three days.”

I chuckled lightly and stood up from where I was sitting, running as I went upstairs with Fluffy following behind, “I’ll be in my room.”


I was sitting down on my bed. I was wearing black, thick-framed glasses with my hair tied into a messy ponytail. I was exploring the folders of my laptop, which was on my bed. I looked into folders I made years and months ago, observing how much everything has changed from my surroundings to me. As I looked at the stuff I have not even opened for so long, I spotted a folder that made me freeze from a couple of seconds.

PHILIPPINES>OFFICE PICS

I found tons of pictures where I used to be a little kid. The majority of pictures in that folder were my dad; he was the one taking the photos. I went on the next, and next, and next picture... Until I stopped when I saw a picture with me and my dad, with the rest of his friends. It was taken back when his co-workers threw him a surprise birthday party in the office, with me and mom there, too. Beside me on the picture was a young boy with dark, Chocolate Brown hair and blue eyes. I was giving him a tight hug in the picture, with my dad, resting his hand on my shoulder and the other on the boy’s shoulder.

Instantly, my heart started to beat fast. I could feel my chest starting to tighten up, and my breath coming short, like there was a clog in my throat. I had to shake that feeling off, or I might just bawl my eyes out the whole night again. I miss my dad. And I miss hat young boy. He was part of the best days of my life. He was my childhood best friend, Ansel. But, I was never able to see him again after moving here in the U.S., more on that later on. Reminiscing on how much I have longed to see my father once again, and wrap myself around his arms just made my heart break.

I could feel the tears fill up my eyes. I missed my dad so badly. I wasn’t even able to say goodbye to him properly. And that, made me regret things even more.

I just let out a smile, and zoomed the picture on Dad & Ansel. Both part of my past who inevitably can impossibly show up in my present.

I closed the laptop and placed in on my desk, lying down sideways with my one hand tucked under my pillow. And before I was able to shut my eyes, my stare passed through my wrist. I wore a bracelet that had a missing, center piece. It was made detachable, and the missing piece was never put back to where it fitted. I took the bracelet off my wrist, and rubbed my thumb against the lock where the missing piece was supposed to be, before I put it on my desk.

I stretched my arms high up, as I lied down now facing the ceiling. My mind roamed around, thinking of the times I was back in the Philippines and when I was still with my dad. I could see pictures of memories flashing in my mind. I could see myself talking to Ansel in the picture, giggling with him as his and my parents would stare at us with glee. As I imagined them, I started to hear our conversations back then, until it led to the memory that I never got over with. I could see my younger self with the little boy together, I was bawling, but I tried to stop my tears, thought it did not help. He gave me a tight hug and when he let go, I could see his mouth moving, which I knew that he was telling me something, but I could not hear it well. The only thing that started to clear up next were our last words to each other.

“I promise.”

I raised my hand, with my fists closed and only my pinky out, “Pinky promise?”

The young boy smiles and wraps his pinky around mine, “Pinky promise.”

I smiled, with full of hope and believing in the promise we made on that special day.

Once our finger got removed from being interlaced, we exchanged smiles and turned around, taking slow footsteps away from each other.

I could feel the tears build up again, until I heard quick footsteps from behind.

I turned around and saw him. He smiled and took something from his bag, and handed it out to me a plastic container with something inside it.

“Mozarella sticks?” I asked with excitement.

He nodded and gave me such a warm, innocent smile, as if he knew exactly how I would’ve reacted once he gave those to me.

I couldn’t stop the tears this time, I was wiping away my tears while taking the container.

“Bye.”

He took one last glance at me before he went through the checkpoint of the airport.

I held onto that promise for so long, even until that time. I kept believing in it that one day, I’d just suddenly see him back, coming out of nowhere and right beside me as we watch fall together, maybe while eating nachos.

God, I just wanted to see him one more time. I miss him so much, that the uncertainty has been killing me eversince.

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