My body felt numb. This had happened often it wasn’t something that I could just get used to. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t move. The room felt dark as if there were something here with me and all I could do is lay here screaming internally.
My alarm goes off at 7 am. I take my time getting out of bed, not really feeling the need to rush. I sit at the edge of my bed and wait patiently for my body to fully wake up. After a few minutes of staring and the empty wall, I get up to take a shower, dragging the razor quickly over my legs as the cold water hits my body. I get out of the shower and the cold air hits me so hard and fast that I’m instantly shivering. I scramble to wrap my body. I grab my hairbrush out of the drawer under the sink and quickly run it through my tangled morning hair. I shove it back in the drawer and trade it for my toothbrush. I run it across my teeth, trying to let the least amount of white foam spill out of my mouth. As I walk out of the bathroom, I stop to look in my mom’s room and see her bed as empty as I expected. Sighing, I walk back to my room and dress in a plain pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. I walk into the small kitchen and grab an orange for breakfast. I look at the little stove clock and see I still have awhile until I have to be at school.
I walk down the narrow hallway of the apartment building. The walls are empty except for the peeling swirly designs at the top of the wall. I walk out of the building and continue to school. I get there too early. There are no more than 15 other cars in the lot, so I decide to stay in the car until it fills up. I turn on my favorite song and rest my head against the seat. I turn the volume up and rest my head against the seat.
What feels like only seconds later, Maddie knocking on the window. I groan and take my headphones off while pressing the button that rolls down the window with my other hand.
“Yeah?” I ask
“Well, hello to you.” She says with a little giggle, “Come on before we’re late.”
I check the time and see that there are only eight minutes until the first period. I roll up my window and open the door. I hadn’t noticed that id been in here for so long. I walk with her into the large red-bricked building. I say goodbye to her and walk in the opposite direction. When I enter the classroom, I nearly trip while heading to my seat and am suddenly grateful for the almost empty classroom. I rest my cheek on the cool surface of the desk. I hear the room fill up. Along with the chatter of my classmates. The bell rings and I straighten up to look at the board, then the teacher. He begins to tell us what page to open up to when there is a knock on the door. I grab the textbook from under my desk and set it down.
“Thanks for joining us, everyone this is Benjamin, he came here last year and has come back to us now,” he says dully. I look up from my desk and instantly get goosebumps when I look into his piercing green eyes. Our eyes lock and I want to look away, but I can’t find the strength to.
“You can find a seat now benjamin.” Mr. Parker says walking back to his desk.
“It’s ben.” He says in a husky voice that makes my insides turn into mush. He looks away from me and at the teacher. I take advantage of the fact and look back down.
“Alright ben, go take a seat and for the rest of you open up to page one-sixteen and answer questions one through twenty.”
I look back at him, carefully avoiding his eyes. I take in his black hair, a strange contrast with his eyes. His olive-toned skin makes me envious of my own pale skin. He’s got to be at least a foot taller than my five foot four frames.
He walks towards the back of the room. I quickly glance at the seat beside me and panic when I realize it’s empty. I suddenly wish that I would have picked the empty chair on the other side of the classroom. I turn my head away and try to pay attention to the questions we are supposed to be answering. I hear the chair beside me pull out. I try to scoot my chair over as far as it will go without being noticeable.
I try to sneak a peek at him. I lift my head up a little and look up to those green eyes staring down at me. I look down at my shaking hand and try to stop it from shaking by clenching it and then laying it flat on my jean covered thigh.
“Hey, can I borrow a pencil?” He asks.
I make the mistake of looking straight at his piercing eyes. I feel my cheeks flare under his gaze. “Uh yeah,” I mumble, breaking eye contact with him to dig through my bag for a pencil. I raise my hand up handing him the pencil carefully avoiding eye contact.
It feels like a lifetime before the bell finally rings. I scramble to get my things and hurry to get out. I try to speed walk out of there when I feel someone grab my arm. I turn around and am greeted with those emerald eyes.