"Did I say something wrong to you last night, Ms. Jieun?" He slurped his warm americano in front of him, still being absent from his mind.
"No... Director. I just need more time for my mother. It might sound confusing but I need to be on my mother's side this time. Soo.." Jieun stopped and gulping the fresh orange juice in front of her sending a coldness to her dried throat. 'What a silly reason!' she thought.
"It isn't like...I am not happy with your decision to become Nana's Nanny but, Isn't it weird that you choose to become a Nanny than a front officer? It does sound like, Nana is your daughter though.." Juwon burst his mind nonchalantly. "Did I say something wrong last night, Ms. Jieun?" He asked her one more time to convince him that there must be something that happened last night so that she put on the decision.
" No, Director. I am not choosing the decision recklessly. It is not like, I am being too good to be a person, but trust me, Director, there was nothing wrong with my decision or last night. Believe me, Director! " Jieun’s hand patted her chest making a sign that the one who talked with her should believe what she had said. Juwon gulped the water beside his americano and thinking hard before he chooses his way. His furrowed brows indicated he was in deep thought, especially with his fingers tapped the table making a sound.
"Mommy... aaaaaa ..." Nana lifted her fork with a strand of pasta recklessly closer to Jieun. Jieun who was still deep in her thought turned her head aside and eat the food that Nana offered.
Juwon took a glance at the view, biting his lower lip. The view when Nana was giggling happily for the first time amused him. Juwon did like the offer but it looked like he used her for his goodness. But after all, the important thing was Nana for him. The thing he valued the most was Nana's shake. It didn't like Jieun would harm things to his daughter because Nana kept laughing, babbling, and squeaking happily which he couldn't find on her latest Nanny.
"Again ..." Nana's little fingers grabbed a strand of pasta and brought it to Jieun's mouth.
The sight of Nana who was so free on expressing her feeling slowly turned him into a smile.
"Thank you...Ms. Jieun... I owe you so much.." Juwon said sincerely.
Yuna handed her a set of sandwich and orange juice. Jieun's favorite food to fill her tummy for lunch. Yuna pouted her lips looking at Jieun's face for the last. The receptionist height which covered the computer also their upper body from people's sight, leaving their hair buns to be shown.
"Sister,... Did something happen on the weekend?" She asked Jieun, snuggling at Jieun's arm.
"Not really ..." Jieun turned her face toward her. She took the sandwich and peeled the wrapper. "Thanks for this.." Jieun bites the sandwich and slurping the orange juice. " Hmmm....delicious...I will miss this so much.." she hummed happily.
"Sister, something had happened, right?"
"Alright...something had happened, but I can't tell you some. I am sorry.." Jieun replied casually still eating her sandwich.
"I will miss you so much..." Yonna hugged her tightly not letting her have a good meal.
"Yah..*cough *cough.." Jieun released Yuna’s hug and patted her chest lightly with her fist. " It isn't like that you will never see me again. We can arrange a meeting outside or weekend..." Jieun winked her eye on Yuna’s.
"Promise me...you will keep my contact forever. " Yuna lifted her pinky finger to make a pinky promise with her. Jieun smiled and took her pinky finger with Yuna’s and stamped it with their thumbs.
"Do you like it so much?" Jieun chuckled.
"If you have something with Director..., Don't forget to let me know first! Understand?" She whispered in Jieun's ear.
"Don't ever say that. It is just impossible..." she waved her hand in front of Yuna's face.
"It might have happened in the future. I am sure for 100%.." Yuna convinced her words with her fist in the air.
"Just eat this!" Jieun handed her the last portion of sandwich she bought. Yuna was in deep thought when suddenly she remembered something.
"Sister, do you have a plan to go back? Uhhmmm... like Joon?" Yuna asked her gingerly. The moment that might be giving Jieun a hard to choose. The rarest chance for someone like Jieun and Lee Joon, who was Yuna's boyfriend. They were closed because of Lee Joon. When Jieun faced hard times and face two hard choices. It was a time when Jieun gave up her dream over her mother's health. The rare chance that might bring her closer to her dream. The time when Lee Joon and Jieun was promoted to follow Lee Mun Jeong, to get trained. The time was playing well with her, when the offer came, she must face the truth that her mother got cancer.
"Maybe... and I hope so," she smiled faintly.
He walked through the vast grassland with a clear blue river. The sound of streaming water gave him peace and his smile appeared on his face. He stopped after some steps and bent down looking at the clear water reflecting his face and his hand grasped the cold water. The pleasant place with peace drowned him deeper. He didn't want to leave the place.
The reflection of women standing beside him in a white dress tugged his smile even brighter. The end of the dress was waving caused by the breeze appearing on the clear water on the river pulled his focus and turned his head above. A woman with a small baby bumps with her bare face yet still alluring. Her red cheeks which grew not far after being pregnant turned her into a cute girl despite her age. Her sincere smile brought him into a smile while looking at her.
"Big Brother," she called him lovingly.
"Daddy!" a little girl's voice echoed after that.
Suddenly, He woke up hearing a whining Nana in her room. He walked toward her room with his messy hair, wearing a loose t-shirt and boxer. The late-night sleep made him lack sleeping. He scratched his hair and yawned loudly indicated him that he should have a good rest. The clock showed that it was still 07.00 AM and he still can get a good sleep before 09.00 AM. He opened the door and finding Nana whining on her bed.
"Daddy..." her hands expanded to get some hug. Juwon walked to her small bed and laid on the bed. His body should scrunch up to get enough space for him. He hugged her and patted her back lightly.
"Sssshhhh...ssshhhhh" he coaxed her and without a further whined session, she calmed down and got a deep sleep while her arms hugging her father. Juwon slept with her after she got calm.
'Oh Crap..' he thought, automatically covered Nana's ear and hardly tried to open his closed eyes. The big fortune for whoever rang the doorbell in the early morning on his apartment, just if he didn't get used to being patient for his only daughter, whoever on the back of the door would meet an early death. He woke up still coaxed and patted her back lightly and slowly left Nana's room and got straight to the door without even looking at the door screen.
"SSHHHHH" He put his index finger on his lips after opened the door. His blurry vision caused by the lack of sleep, a wrinkled t-shirt with a boxer, and messy hair surprised the person who came in the early morning.
"Director..." the girl's voice widened his weight lifted eyes.
"Oh... Ms. Jieun.." he rubbed his eyes to get a clear view.
"Good morning...Director.." she greeted him politely.
"Come inside, Ms. Jieun..." he led the way to the apartment and closed the door. Jieun strolled around while her eyes roamed the apartment that her CEO lived in. Jieun roamed the room and being amazed at the apartment which could be called an empty one.
"I just can give you a bottle of water... Sorry..." Juwon walked from the fridge and brought a bottle of cold water and handed it to Jieun.
"It is fine Director..." Jieun accepted it with two hands.
The apartment was very neat for a man with a baby, but it was also barely empty. The only thing was the colorful dolls and matt for the baby to play in the living room in front of the TV. There were 2 rooms which can be concluded as a bedroom which stand side by side behind the TV in the living room. The opened kitchen which could be easily reached after the living room and medium size bathroom filled with toys and kid stuff.
Jieun didn't know when was her CEO passing her, but she found her CEO already laid his body on the sofa snoring. Jieun chuckled silently, the view just gave evidence that someone outside was different when they were home. Jieun roamed the apartment by herself and to find Nana. Jieun went to the closest bedroom which was placed not far from the main door. She opened the door lightly not to make a sound. There she found a little girl's body-hugging a small pillow on her deep sleep.
Jieun approached Nana fixing her blanket. The room was also neat, even though it was filled with her dolls and children's books. She got an opened drawer full of Disney princess gowns and accessories. The other drawer is also filled with all of Nana’s necessities. She smiled knowing that Nana had a good father.
Jieun left Nana's room silently and closed the door carefully. Jieun went to the bedroom next to Nana. The door was slightly opened and there she got to see a slight view of the messy bed. She opened the door lightly and put her in a shock enough to make her step back. The room was extremely empty and messier. The one thing that was neat just the drawer which was filled with clothes and tuxes for work. The slopped lamp lid, wrinkled blanket also some dirty clothes fell on the floor and mountain of it decorated the room. She blinked and her mouth opened full with surprise. He was still a regular 'not very caring' man at some points.
Jieun opened the curtain on the CEO's bedroom to get some natural light as it was morning already. She hoped that the CEO didn't get angry knowing that she touched his things without his permission. She cleaned the bedroom thoroughly and tidied it in a minute. She collected the dirty clothes and put them on the washing machine in the bathroom. Then she checked for the fridge to make some good food. She found nothing other than bottles of water. She opened the kitchen cabinet to find foods but she found a lot of instant ramens and also instant baby foods. She sighed deeply and realized that she just couldn't wish anything for a man living with the baby himself.
"Daddy... " a child's voice cracked on the closest bedroom. Jieun walked fast approaching the bed not to make the CEO waking up from a deep sleep. She opened lightly and found a girl sat up on her bed with her messy hair squeezing her eyes. "Daddy..." the little girl uttered the name again with her cracked voice.
"Nana ... Aunty Jieun has come.." she whispered in a low voice. Jieun sat on the side bed and expanded her arms to take Nana on her hug. Nana hugged her still feeling drowsy. She laid her head on Jieun's neck to rest her weighted head.
"Daddy," she called her father again. Jieun caressed her back lightly and brought her to the living room where her father was sleeping. "Daddy... sleeps..." Nana babbled in a low voice seeing her father lying on the sofa with a low snore.
"Nana...Daddy is sleeping, should we get some meal first for you?" Jieun whispered to her. Nana shook her head lightly.
"Wash face and brush teeth.." she answered still with her dazed expression.
"Sure.. let's go to the bathroom first.." Jieun was still unaware of the condition just letting Nana make a move first. In front of the washroom, she put Nana to stand up on the child's stairs to get a good view of her face.
"That..." she pointed her fingers into a small pink basin that was out of her reach. Jieun took the basin and fill it with water. Nana put her hands to get some water, but in a second she snatched her hand.
"Cold..." Nana mumbled with a dazed face. Jieun then added hot water after adjusting the faucet. Jieun silently learns her habit. Nana looked like used to the habit. Jieun then handed her a pink towel that must be hers. Nana dabbed her face recklessly which made Jieun silently smile.
"Good girl!" Jieun tapped her hair lightly and dabbed her face softly to absorb the remaining water on her face. Jieun took a small toothbrush and toothpaste. She applied the toothpaste on the toothbrush in a small amount and gave it to Nana.
She sat beautifully on her sofa in the bedroom. She wore her red robe with her mouth sipping a mouthful of aged wine. She looked at the man's body that was lying on the bed with the blanket-covered until his waist sleeping soundly. The daily life she was living for. She took a tablet on the desk beside her scrolled for gallery and found photos of Juwon, the front officer, and his daughter. She got insecure seeing Juwon closed with other women so that she paid for someone to follow them and gave her the daily report with photos.
"Just if Juwon gladly accepts me again.," she mumbled, remembering her last meeting with him.
She met him sat with the front officer, still in her uniform with the little girl she knew the most. They looked happy from far away. She didn't even care if she should hurt anyone, the important thing that she must get him back no matter what. She walked toward them gracefully to make the woman in front of him realize, who was her.
"Honey…” she called him softly to remind him of their past. Their past always haunted her for the years she left.
“What are you doing?” Juwon was surprised at her appearance again. It was the second time they met, after being separated for years. She put on a big smile and tried to touch him, but as she predicted he was avoiding her. Of course, there would be no one accepted her, after what she had done.
“How come you be like this? I miss you..” she acted clingy to Juwon to show the woman in front of him, that she was no one than her. She peeked at the woman and her eyes caught her ID 'Son Jieun'. The woman tried to keep playing with Nana ignoring the view she made. She felt jealousy arising in her heart. She kept on focusing on him, if she gets him, she would get everything.
“Let's go somewhere!" Juwon grabbed her hand harshly and pushed her out of the restaurant.
"Lee Seonhwa.." He snatched her hand harshly. "What are you doing?" He questioned her sudden act.
"Juwon, I miss you.." Juwon furrowed his eyes in disbelief. He remembered the worst part of his life which he always wants to hide forever.
"Do you still want me to accept you again??" He sighed putting his hand on his waist. He bit his lip angrily, realizing that he had held his anger for years to her.
"The only one I love is you," Seonhwa replied trying to convince him. That was right, even after she left him, she was still longing for him.
"Do you think I am a fool? After all, you did?? Do you still want me?? Are you crazy?" He almost shouted at her.
"Juwon!" she startled at him.
" Enough... Don't come to me again... especially in front of Nana," he said calmly still with his cold tones.
" Don't you remember that you had put Nana in danger!!" She remembered when Juwon ran to Nana after hearing a loud bump of the falling lift. The time when Seonhwa first touched Seoul after years leaving him without further explanation. She got too focused on Juwon and distracted him on protecting the kid, while Nana would freely roam the place she never played with before.
"It was an accident!" She defended herself.
"STOP IT!! STAY AWAY FROM ME AND MY DAUGHTER!!" Juwon shouted for the last.
"Don't you love me, Oppa??" She said desperately.
"Stop it..! I don't want to hear all your fucking shit! Get lost!" He left her alone outside.
-End of Flashback-
Seonhwa still scrolled on her tablet looking at the photos in deep thought. She felt remorse in her heart. 'Can she get him back?' She looked at her left hand which had a ring on her ring finger. The memory of when she got married to the man who was sleeping on the bed reappeared. It was her parents who wanted that business marriage and forced her to leave all the things that connected with Juwon. She didn't even love her husband neither for him too. They were in an arranged marriage without love.
"Seonhwa..." the man on the bed slowly opened his eyes and woke up. He stretched his body slowly.
"Oh, Jaehyuk..." she left the tablet on the table and approached him. He brought her on his embrace to get a deep sleep. "Yah.. you have to go for work... or else your father will scold you..." she whispered to his ear.
"Just a minute, Seonhwa..."
He went through up and down in his life. He struggled by his strength so far. But, not with that day when he got his lowest.
The lowest level on his roller-coaster got him depression which he couldn't avoid. The depression and the newborn without someone standing around called him for suicide.
The messy minds drowned him deeper when suddenly the baby's cry brought him back to reality. He should grow stronger for the baby and him. The only strength he had, he should treasure her. He remembered holding the small tiny body for the first time on his hug while he was crying in silence.
"Shhhh......it would be fine... Daddy is here.. Daddy will always be with you.." he whispered silently to the newborn who knew nothing. He swayed slightly and hugged the baby tightly to give her warmth, that her mother couldn't do.