After leaving Harry in the halls I wonder to myself why I had let him touch my arms and chin, without flinching. Almost any time someone touches me I flinch or burst into panic. That thought itself never leaves my mind as I sit in my Accounting class.
I’m slumped in my seat trying to figure it out and I grow frustrated letting our hard breaths that get my classmates attention.
The bell goes off and I swear it’s only been five minutes. I sit up in my seat confused why everyone floods out the class. The teacher looks at me worried, being I usually pay the most attention but not wanting to elaborate, I stand up and leave for lunch.
When I push through the cafeteria doors I spot Harry sitting at a table with four other guys. They’re all talking but he’s just eating an apple staring off into space. Clearly not interested in them whatsoever.
“Hey Violet.” the voice comes from the table and when I look up my stare falls on to Peter. My skin goes cold and I let out a forced “Mhm” nodding a hey back silently.
When I try to walk by him, Peter puts his arm out in front of my body stopping me, but I yield before I come in contact. “How are you today?” He smiles with a bright expression.
Peter does this all the time. Stops me in front of the student body to embarrass me. I don’t say anything back and just move out of the way heading towards the outside doors.
“I wonder if her parents really did throw her out. Cant say im not surprised.” He turns around snickering back to his friends. “No isn’t it because her parents hit her.” The table erupts in laughter and I just hang my head down trying not to let them get a reaction out of me. My steps to the door are stopped by Peter yelling in my direction.
“Come on Violet just tell us which ones true, were all dying to know.” My fists clench but I keep walking. “Give us a hint Angel.” The world angel reminds me of the woman and child yesterday at the stop light but I refuse to let my mind wander.
Racing the door to the outside Peter swears to himself. “God Damn Violet you’re such a bitch you know that. I try to look past all the rumors but you make them so believable”
My heart drops as I turn around to look at the whole cafeteria staring at me and I almost trip back. I always forget the amount of eyes always on me in these situations.
I just wish someone would stand up for me or just simply not care about the rumors because it’s not their life. But we’re in high school and everything is everyone’s business.
I don’t really care what Peter thinks of me or anyone at this school but it still hurts. No one at this school knows anything about me. They just stare in laughter as if it’s the only thing to do with their free time.
My gaze rips from the crowd and lands onto Harry who’s giving Peter a murderous glare. His hands are in tight fits and I swear his apple is about to combust.
No one at the table notices Harry but it looks as if he’s about to choke Peter. His eyebrows pull together and I can feel the red radiating off him.
I pull my eyes away and place my mask back on pretending everythings okay.
I turn around and push through the doors. Walking up to the picnic tables Abby looks up at me and her smile fades. “What happened” her voice is hard.
Sitting down she speaks through her teeth, “was it Peter again, I’ve had enough of him. Ive wanted to puch his stupid face the moment I layed eyes on him. What did he say?” She leans in our faces practically touching. I lean back.
“It’s not that big of a deal okay Abby you know this whole school has their assumptions. Who cares” Pushing her shoulders back but her face still sees red.
“Assumptions they all shouldn’t be making. What did he say.”
“They were just bickering on which rumour sounded more truthful. Then he called me a bitch because I wouldn’t tell him.” it’s nothing new.
Abby throws her sandwich down and darts to get up but I grab onto her hand and push her back down getting mad myself.
“You listen Abby. Do not go in there. I love you so much for wanting to stand up for me but I can handle my own problems. Please.” When I say handling my problems I just mean ignoring them.
“Okay fine. But if he does one more thing I’m not listening.” i’ll take it.
“Okay fine. But punching him won’t solve anything, they’ll just talk more”
She grins a huge smile. “No cause I think it would solve everything.”
I rest my face in my hands on the table and sigh, “I just wish my life were different you know.” Abby exhales, “I know.”
Without further conversation Abby goes off in detail about what she would do to Peter. “No Violet you don’t understand. i’m actually looking forward to the next time he upsets you so I can hurt him.”
I look up from my hands and tilt my head. “In all love of course.” she says
Sometimes I wish I could punch Peter in the face as well. “I wanna punch him really bad too.” I admit and Abby drops her pen with her jaw dropped.
“Lil violet getting dangerous?”
“Oh shut up. He just makes my blood boil.” I grip my hands to my thigh. “Then do it...”
“Punch him in the face.” She says shrugging. “It’s not that hard Abby.” I try to explain.
“Actually it’s quite simple. He’s a dick who deserves a taste of his medicine.” He really does deserve it but I hate admitting it to myself. “It’s not that Abby, I just don’t like violence.” A shiver courses through my spine.
It takes Abby a moment to realise what she has been saying and she clamps her hand over her mouth and eyes grow in apology, “I’m so sorry Abby oh my God. I didn’t mean it like that okay. It’s just Peters a bad guy and needs to be bitch slapped.”
“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean it like that. I just don’t think anyone really deserves it.” Day dreaming about punching Peter makes my stomach turn. “But you’re right. Definitely a bitch slap.” I lightly laugh.
Her shoulders refuse to fall. She seems so upset that she brought up what she had. I hate seeing that look on her face like I’m so delicate. Makes me hate myself more.
Looking away from her to ease my nerves I look through the cafeteria windows at everyone eating. As students walk in and out from the outside doors the noise level falls and grows with vibrations.
A shiver runs through my body when I can feel eyes on me. It doesn’t take much for my own eyes to find Harrys. He’s looking at me with a hard look but when our eyes meet his eyes grow soft immediately.
We stay looking at each other for a little while longer. Goosebumps travel up my arm. He nods his head towards the main cafeteria exit pleading to follow him back there. I shake my head quickly but he nods his head to the doors once more.
I swallow. Something inside me is pushing me to follow him but another part is screaming at me to stay put.
I pull my eyes from Harry’s thinking about it. When I pull them back to him he looks apologetic and shakes his head that it’s fine. I silently thank him that he doesn’t push but a part of me is upset that he did.
I turn my head quickly giving me whiplash. Pressing my hands to my neck I groan in pain. “What?”
“You were lost in space again.” I rub my neck once more and remove my hands.
The bell rings from inside the school making my shoulders perk up. “I’m gonna be late for english.” I practically jump off the table pulling my black backpack over my shoulder. “See ya after school.”
Rushing into the cafeteria I keep my focus in front of me not letting my eyes wander to Peter or Harry.
Entering my english class I take my assigned seat in the middle. In this particular class there’s no tables. Only single desks lined up perfectly in front of one another.
Placing my backpack on the ground I pull out my purple binder and a pen. “Good Morning class.” Ms Jones cous happily. “We have lots of fun activities planned for today. Not much work necessary.”
My shoulders drop from the stress built up all day. Thankful for not assigning anything. I have lots to catch up on in other classes in such a short period of time. I pull out the novel we’re reading and pick up from where I left off.
“Oh you must be the new student joining our class?” Ms Jones speaks from above. I still skim the book not caring who the student is. “Harry you can take a spot behind VIolet in the blue sweater.”
My head perks up and I’m met with Harry eyes who look just as surprised as I am. Walking behind me taking his seat, a familiar vanilla cologne fills my senses.
Still a little frozen I shake it off turning around to face Harry with an emotionless face. The surprise wiped all my senses away. Harry lowers his body in his chair and winks at me, earning a roll of my own eyes.
Still looking, I close my eyes and turn around to face the front. Not at all what I was expecting from this english class today.
Still shocked, Ms Jones’s voice distacts my thoughts, “Alright class so you are probably wondering what it is I had planned for today. Instead of a work period or giving you more work I thought we could all come together as a class. As a Thursday Were all probably tired and stressed coming to an end of a school week so I am going to assign everyone partners. From now until the end of the semester these will be your designated partner for class discussions. Give me one moment to pair Harry up with someone in my notes and then will get going.” She clicks her pen starting to map out students on her page.
I haven’t payed that close of attention to the people in this room. As I take a brief look I don’t much mind whoever I get paired with. Except for Harry. Please don let it be Harry. God if you exist, please.
“Here are everyone’s partners. Elio and Lilly. James and Robin.” Miss continues calling out names not once speaking mine. “And lastly Harry and Violet.”
Really. Are you kidding me.