Waking up on my cold bathroom floor I grip my bear even harder when the realization of morning comes. Crusted tears lay under my eyes and crumple off my skin.
Standing up from the cold floor my head pounds and it takes a minute for the room to stop spinning. It reeks of death in this room.
Last night came in flickers. From dancing, being assaulted, to barfing all night long. I swallow back an awful taste down my scratchy throat. Yesterday I felt so free but just like anything in my life that comes close with that feeling it comes to a tragic end.
My nightmares came in a full throttle last night. It was so much worse than normal, passing out from not being able to breathe. The sounds of screaming woke me up instantly and I was crying for silence. The screams were louder than ever before and I just had to lie there and take it.
No matter how hard I yell at the world to stop, it keeps spinning.
Walking like a zombie to my bedroom I throw on a sweater and place my bear on the bed. I’m not sure how my bear made it to the bathroom with me. If anything I guess Abbys left it before she took off. Groaning in pain I slowly walk out to the living room.
Slumping on the couch I look at the clock which reads twelve. I leave here for work around five so I have four and a half hours to sober up. Just great. I push my head into my hands groaning. I can’t call in sick either. I need the money.
Leaning over the couch I practically crawl to the kitchen on all fours, grabbing two advils and a bottle of water. All my blinds are closed but I can still feel a blinding light shining in my eye. Squeezing them shut I walk blindly back to the couch
falling face first onto the cushions, I grab a blanket and wrap myself up like a burrito, passing out under the darkness of warmth.
Three advils and six bottles of water later I throw myself into the shower and put on way too much concealer, covering up all that needs no explanation.
Getting off the bus I rush into the restaurant saying my hellos to almost all the entrance staff members. “I’m good thank you.” almost all responding in peppy ways.
Breathing in I have to remind myself that waitresses have to be happy. It’s all an award winning performance.
My uniform is a black tennis skirt paired with a matching oversized t-shirt. It’s quite comfy and really cute. I switch to different colored converse every night as well. It gives me something to look forward too. Tonight I have green ones on.
The restaurants called, “Phils.” although its nothing but a restraunt. An ages seventeen up hidden bar,restaurant and dance. I only say dance because it’s really not considered stripping.
Trust me when I say this place It is hidden for a reason.
Lots of Illegal shit goes on under the building but I’m only exposed to the above bar and restaurant. The basements however is hidden to the public. Only certain people have a key to get down there. I questioned it to my co-workers once and they shut me up quickly.
Phil reassured me that as long as i’m not involved in the basement my name is cleared from illegal activity.
I Haven’t questioned the basement anymore. I sometimes catch glimpses of guys dressed in black with sunglasses on and as well seeing girls in little to no clothing prancing down there.
The tips are ten times more than any other restaurant, so I’m not quitting.
You get a lot of people in here all for a good time or wanting to forget a good time. It’s a fun mix of all.
Walking in you’re immediatley surrounded by red neon lights. the interior turns people on and I would be lying if I told you I didn’t gain confidence from it.
There’s a huge bar stationed in the middle of the room as well a shiny pool table off to the side. the dance areas up at the front and jazz music pours through the speakers.
Phils doesn’t pay much attention to your ID. You pay and they give, no questions asked. Yes it’s against the law but no one snitches. I mean why would you... it’s in your own benefit. I’ve seen drug deals, drugs, gambling and other stuff go down within these walls. If the Police heard of this place no doubts would it be shut down in the blink of an eye.
Phils is tucked in pretty secretly and everyone here knows the rules. Regulars show up, that’s it.
Out of all the shit that goes on it’s surprisingly really safe here. There are body guards that watch everyone like hawks. One wrong move and you’re out in the least nicest way possible. I think that’s one of the things I like the most here.
Music booms through the speaks leaving tiny vibrations all through your body. People practically eye fuck all day long.
Walking through the restaurant I head for the lockers and put my stuff away. Grabbing what I need I head out to the bar where I see my long haired boss. “Hey Phil” the muscle man turns around.
“You whats up, Violet how are ya.” Phil leans over the counter smiling like a happy child. This isnt important but I just wanted to clear up that Phlips gay. I’ll never understand people who don’t accept it. You love who you love and that’s it. Universal gender laws are a piece of bullshit. The only person who gets to control your life is yourself.
“Im tired to be honest but other than that i’m good.” Phil always feels so bad working me the night shift but I told him it was the only way.
“Math test went well?” He pops open a jar of peanuts throwing them into his mouth. “Yeah it did thanks for your help.”
“Hows Mike?” I love to hear Phils gossip, his lifes so exciting.
Phil rests his face into his hands, “perfect. I love him more and more everyday.” I bite down on my cheek smiling. I wish Philip and Mike were my parents. They would have loved me so much.
They’ve been dating for about two years.
“Anything going on in your life you wanna talk about?” Philip asks this everyday but I always respond the same.
“No, I’m okay.”
“You do realize I know when you lie right.” yes actually but there’s nothing I can do about it. “So come on tell me. Did you do anything yesterday?”
Signing I respond, “Abby took me to a party yesterday.” Philips jaw drops like I just told him one direction got back together. “Im sorry. Did I just hear you right?” I shake my head.
“No fucking way.” Philip jumps up and down behind the counter and runs towards me behind the bar.
Don’t get contradicted, Philip may be a peach but you mess with him and game over. Death by Phil written on your stone. I’ve seen it up close and that guy doesnt play around.
“Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me.” he pleads almost on his knees. “Fine just get up.” clapping echoes my senses.
“Well Abby made me come to a party with her and I couldn’t back out.” he presses his hands to his heart, “bless that woman’s soul.”
“I got drunk and danced. Felt really good actually.” Philip smiles like a proud father, “that’s my girl.
“Anything bad happen. Usually something bad happens at these parties?”
His muscles contract through his shirt. “What happened.”
“Well nothing really.”
Philips face goes hard. “Tell me or i’ll make you serve section 3.” That’s low. Exhaling I begin, “Some guy tried to rape me but someone stopped him before anything happened.” I speak the last sentence fast so he could hear the whole story.
“They touch you.” His face red with anger.
“My hips and kissed my neck. Other than that no. I’m fine honestly. Harry pulled him off.” shut up, shut, shut up.
“Harry?” the word dancing off his tongue. I cough. “Just a friend.” I look in his eyes sternly. Philip goes to speak again but I hold up a finger. “Nope.”
Rolling his eyes he mutters a dramatic “fine.”
“Fill me in when you both decide friends is just a stupid word.” Philip leaves and my eyes follow his every move in anger. We can’t be more than friends, it wont work. I won’t let it work, hell I have no idea how Abby’s still in my life.
Snapping out of it I walk over to the bar grabbing a clipboard under the cash register making inventory notes. Taking a seat behind the bar to start, Harleigh leans over catching my attention.
“Want anything to drink Violet?”
Harleighs has always been so nice to me. He’s about twenty five and bartending to help pay off his college tuition. “Maybe just a glass of water.”
Grabbing a cup from under the bar he gets to work, “Did I hear you went to a party.” Dropping my head I look up to him with wide eyes.
“How do you know I just told Phil?”
“spreading like wildfire alrighty. Should have seen everyone’s jaw drop.” he laughs. This happened like a second ago what the fuck.
I place my head in my hands, “its just a stupid party whats the big deal?”
“Name one party you have been to?” Placing the water in front of me I give him a dirty stare. “Not in a long time.” simply picking up my water, I take a frustrated sip.
“Not in over a year Violet.” clunking my water down I put my middle finger on display.
“Did you at least get drunk?” eyebrows up in amazement
Smirking back up I nod. “That’s my girl.” Harleigh gives me a high five. Our hands contact in a loud slap.
Finishing up the inventory I place the clipboard back behind the bar in its designated spot. “Need any help with the drink orders?” I help occasionally at the bar when things get busy.
“Nah it’s all good. Place is starting to fill up though, might wanna start making rounds.”
Exhaling I agree.
“Violet table 7 needs to be covered do you mind?” Philip calls from across the bar.
“Yeah Philip I got it.”
Brushing my hair out of my face and putting on a fake smile I walk over to table seven, not paying attention whatsoever, wherever I go.
“Hey guys, welcome to Phils what can I-” Tilting my head up to make eye contact with the group my eyes lay on Harry.
Asshole really is everywhere.