Whipping my eyes I look back and forth from the boy to the mess I made. My breaths start to quicken not knowing what to do.
He just saw everything. He heard everything. Slapping my palm onto my mouth my body shoots up in complete panic nearly going into shock.
We're both staring at each other not knowing what to do. His eyes fill with curiosity and worry. Almost like he understands? no thats stupid.
Why isn't he in school? Why is he here? Backing up my foot trips over a can and my body falls on to the stones. I feel the tip of a sharp stone cut the skin over my leggings. "ouch."
The boy watching everything, begins to make his way over to me when I fall in help.
My body stands from his movement and panic rips through my veins. With each step he makes my eyes widen. Words are not coming out. My hands grip on my sweater standing paralyzed.
Finally my voice kicks in and I take a giant step back. "Stop it. I- st-stop." mumbling sounds of panic.
"Please stop." I hold my hand out in front of me.
The boy immediately stops and scans my features. I can't read his facial expressions now. He looks conflicted.
You shouldn't even be looking at me just run away. please.
Standing in front of each other a little while longer I try to contain my breakdown. Green eyes does not say anything. He just continues to look at me with an unreadable stare that makes the hairs on my arms stand.
Realization kicks in once more and my hands make their way to my head again. What if he tells everyone what he saw.
"Pl-ease." I take a breath.
"You, you can tell anyone what you just saw." I practically beg almost dropping down to my knees.
"Do-nt tell anyone. Please." A single tear falls.
"Oh God, you- you're going to tel-l everyone." The speed of my breathing picks up and my body shakes.
"Hey, hey." He holds his hands out in front of him. my head turns. his stare makes my thoughts go quiet for a moment.
"I promise i'm not going to tell anyone, okay. I wasn't going to." He states without hesitation.
I sniff back more tears. "How much did you see?" I whisper but more tears fall. I try hold them back and wipe the evidence away. I must look completely pathetic.
He huffs and gives me a small awkward smile, "um the whole thing."
My heart drops and more panic takes over me. "What."
"Did you wanna-" he begins
"no." I say harshly looking down at the ground. He wants to talk? I almost laugh
"Shouldn't yo-u be in school?"
He tries to find my eyes but I squeeze them shut and look at the ground, waiting for the answer. "It's lunch right now and I don't feel like sitting."
"We're pretty far away from the school." I try to form a proper sentence.
"Yeah I'm aware. M'havin a bad day too. Just needed to get out for a while. I noticed you from across the street and you weren't in math. You didn't look too good and practically almost got run over making it in here. Just wanted to make sure you were all right." The sincerity in his voice is clear but why does he care?
A couple minutes go by interrupted as we just stand there. I'm not sure what to do. Time is just frozen. My eyes still shut as I try to get a hold of myself. "How bout you sit down." his voice full of worry.
I feel him taking one step over as I hear the stones crush underneath his shoes. My eyes open and I take another step back. "Please."
I shut my eyes once more. "I, I- can't, okay." crying out.
"Please don't touch me"
"Im sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not going to touch you" he stutters.
Fuck. Why is everything so damn complicated. "Just go."
"Who hurt you?" Quietly getting the question off his chest. I'm sure he has many from what he just saw.
My voice is frozen and when I try to come up with a lie nothing comes out.
Knowing that he even heard a sliver of my predicament freaks me out. I choke on a sob induced laugh tightening my grip on my hair more. "Who hurt me." I'm barely audible but I laugh.
Trying to contain my sudden cries of joy, I let out a series of more laughter, "Please just stop." my side starts to hurt from how much I am laughing and tears start to flow because of it.
After a couple seconds my laughter turns to gasps for air and the real tears come out of me.
Why do I always cry? I'm so tired of crying. I try looking up to the sky but it's blocked by the roofs.
"Ple-ase don't, please do- don't tell anyone ok-okay." I cry out even more. If he tells anyone the result would be traumatic. I cant let anyone start digging but I hate myself so much already and can not stand for others knowing. Especially the kids at my school. They're awful. I'm going to my grave with everything. If I ever make it that far.
"Violet right?" Greenie suddenly asks. The question throws me off.
I shake my head so quick, almost giving me whiplash.
Harry ,Harry ,Harry. I guess he does have a name. Ha.
"Violet, I'm not going to tell anyone. It's not my place. I won't ever bring this up again okay. Just need you to breathe."
Until he tells me to breathe I didn't even realize I was hyperventilating.
"Violet please, just look at me." I look sharply down from the sky and his eyes plead for me to allow him to help me. Clutching my hands to my chest I try to think this through.
"Fuck." Of course this had to happen today.
"Um. I just." Backing away his eyes beg me to not run in the state I'm in.
"Just le-leave me al-one. please." turning around tripping over my two feet, I run out of the alley way.