Chapet 37 | Losing to Trust
“What do you say?” He asked once more in her silence. Elizabeth was speechless and once again panicked and replied,
She stood up from the bench and, without looking back at the witless expression on Mark’s face, she walked away.
Mark hesitated for a while, but after seeing her retreat from the scene, he quickly stood up from the chair and pulled her wrist back to him.
She finally looked at him again, tears now slowly aching to drip down from her eyes.
“El, why do you run away?!”
“If you... If you can’t accept me, just say no.” Mark’s heart ached as he said these words. He tried to hide away the pain, but it wasn’t working. Slowly, he was breaking down. “Just say no El, I’ll be okay.” He said under his breath, loud enough to be heard as he lowered his gaze to the ground.
“No!” Elizabeth suddenly exclaimed, which made Mark look up to her in surprise. “No... I don’t want that.”
“Well... what do you want, El?”
She then crouched on the floor, trying to hide the tears coming out from her eyes as she said, ” I don’t know, Mark. Whenever I see you, my heart beats uncontrollably and you always make me feel some kind of way. I am always somehow drawn near to your gaze and-”
Mark cut Elizabeth off, who suddenly hugged her, crouching himself in surprise. “Oh.” She exclaimed.
Mark wrapped her around his arms tighter. She then followed in return. ” El, do you really mean that?” He asked.
“I do.” She said, ” I feel it only when I’m with you.”
“Will you be with me then?” He asked straight-forward.
The tears didn’t stop from Elizabeth’s eyes, not noticing that Mark in front of her was smiling in some sort of relief.
“I don’t... I don’t know Mark. I’m scared.”
“Just trust me El, I love you.”
Love. Was it worth trusting? To fall into its trap and drown in its captivity. After years of avoiding attraction and this very feeling, Elizabeth thought that finally, she was immune.
The love that made her father go crazy, ruining the life of their mother. Will she trust it? Was it enough to forget its sins in the past, the sin that was the birth of their dark family?
She was scared. And she didn’t know what to do. Even in the blooms of adulthood at twenty-five, her mind on these topics was not cultivated.
But this time, as she heard those three crazy words coming out of Mark’s lips almost three times now, she couldn’t help but hesitate.
Somehow, in the depths of her feelings, she was happy. Elizabeth didn’t know whether it was alright to go crazy herself.
She cried in Mark’s embrace as they both crouched on the park’s ground. His hand lovingly rubbed her back to ease all the tears out, for never in her life had she felt so confused.
In his arms, it was comfortably warm. She eased herself into it more wrapping her arms around him as well. She loved the feeling.
“I love you El. Please, trust me.”
Hearing those once more, her heart was in ecstasy. She laughed at herself in realization. Was this losing herself to trust? The words Hayden said to her finally made some sense. Accept the feeling and trust love.
“Is... Is it alright Mark?” she asked, scared that the love she might come to accept will hurt him, just like her mother.
“Alright to what?” he asked, not letting go of the embrace.
Elizabeth hugged him tighter. ” Love you as well?” she asked nervously.
If he agreed, she would let go of the trauma she held so dearly ever since then and lose to trust him and love him with all of her heart.
The happiness was swelling in her as her dedication to this thought set to never waver. She accepted the beating in her chest and the butterflies in her stomach.
I love him.
And she knew this now. With every fiber of her being, she wanted him to be with her and love him in return with all her heart.
Suddenly, Mark let go of the embrace and placed his palms on her shoulders, pushing her away. Elizabeth was confused and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand as he did it.
Mark then started laughing. His laughter was loud and somehow captivating. She sucked in the sadness and raised an eyebrow at him.
“What?” she asked him questionably.
But Mark continued to laugh, almost annoyingly, as happy tears started flow from his eyes.
“What?!” she asked him again, more persuasive this time, wanting to know the answer.
Finally, Mark breathed in a breath and stopped laughing, wiping the tears away himself, “You’re so dense sometimes.”
Mark handsomely smiled at the confusion in Elizabeth’s face and patted her head in comfort.
His eyes looked over at her, his smile slowly disappearing into something more. He longingly gazed upon her as the view wavered from her wide brown eyes, red, to her soft, rosy lips that trembled beneath him.
The hand that was once on top of her head now moved to caress her cheek. He held her steady in his hand before leaning down upon her and claiming her lips for his.
Elizabeth, shocked at first, felt his rugged lips move against hers, leaving her in wanton surrender. She closed her eyes at the moment. It was the first time she ever felt this way, the feeling of physical longing and the chemistry between.
He nibbled her lower lip as Elizabeth’s hands journey towards his broad back and his hair, ruffling them softly between her fingers, holding him as tightly as possible.
Her lips moved on their own, as if knowing what this was her whole life. She tilted her head sideways as pleasure surged throughout her smile. The kiss was sweet and gentle.
From lost of air, the two broke it off. They looked at each other as they panted to breathe. Elizabeth couldn’t contain a smile.
This ignited a passion in Mark and smirked as he, once again, caught her head in his grasp and kissed her.
Elizabeth did not think it would light her up this much as Mark did. It felt like two unique experiences at once.
It was deeper and more passionate as Mark ran the tip of his tongue along the crevice of her lips.
Without denial, she accepted and took the kiss to new heights as he explored her pleasure.
It was more than Elizabeth could ever dream of.
It was him.
Elizabeth and Mark walked along the pathways of the park. It was already dark, yet the road was lined with lit streetlights. They were silent as the night breeze passed through them, freezing cold.
She wrapped her hands around herself for more heat as she blew a breath, observing the cold air coming out of her mouth. Now, thankfully, she wore some kind of blazer that day.
“It’s getting late, isn’t it?” Mark sounded beside her, making her look at him straight away. He gazed upon the stars at the sky as he stopped in his tracks, his hands in his jacket’s pocket.
He then looked at her and smiled, “We should get home, it’s cold.”
Elizabeth nodded at his words and smiled in return as the two made their way to the park’s exit. She turned to him when they got there.
“Is this where we say goodbye?” she nervously asked. The first time she said anything since that mind-blowing kiss that afternoon.
Mark unusually grinned at her, “I’ll be taking you home, it’s only proper El.” He said, now moving forward to start their journey.
Elizabeth, somehow shocked, exclaimed, “No! There’s no need... It’s only a bus ride away.”
He looked back at this and replied, “Two bus rides, and it’s a rather long walk between the two.”
“What if the media sees us? And you get into another thing with your fans and social media. Your reputation would be ruined and I would be the cau-”
The sound of laughter cut off Elizabeth’s rant coming from her companion. She stopped talking as he added, “It’s alright El. Don’t you check the internet from time to time? All of them support our relationship.” With this, Mark continued walking.
Elizabeth followed him but was in a daze. They were silent all the way to the bus stop. Mark was worrying about her, but still continued to walk by her side, letting her be. Giving her time to think about whatever was on her mind.
Thankfully, as soon as they sat on the cold metal bar seats of the shed, the bus they were waiting for arrived right away.
The elderly driver was too sleepy to wonder who was riding in his bus. All he made sure of was them paying their fees before the two sat at the very back. He started the driving journey.
Elizabeth still was staying silent, so Mark inquired, “A penny for your thoughts?”
“You just seemed so... quiet. What’s on your mind?”
Elizabeth took a deep breath in and faced Mark as she said, “You said... just a few moments ago, your fans support...us being in a relationship? Are we in a relationship?”
Mark playfully thought about it for a while, ” Well, what do you say? Are we?” He looked at her as he leaned in closer, his voice softer and huskier than before. “Will you be with me, El?”
Elizabeth looked into his gaze and soon gave him a sweet smile. “Of course... Why wouldn’t I?” She giggled and leaned in closer to herself. With sudden confidence, she gave him a peck on the lips.
He was a bit surprised, but snapped out of it through her sudden laughter. She continued to laugh at the look on his face when he did so.
“This is revenge.” He softly muttered before placing his lips upon hers one more time. Kissing her with all of his might.
Elizabeth seemed to enjoy his kisses, smiling as their lips moved against each other. As if it was an intricate dance or was it just bumpy because of the pebbles in the road.
It was exciting, yet full of love. Elizabeth now knew the happiness in this craze filled emotion. With every ounce of strength she had, she wrapped her arms around Mark and kissed him in an embrace.
They moved away, and with that; they laughed at their fun.