Blaire slept for almost three days straight. She would scream and cry in her sleep. It was hard to watch my wife suffer like that. She didn't deserve any of this. Blaire's been through a lot and I hated that I had to tell her about losing one of the twins. I knew it would add more pain on top of the horrible things we've experienced in the last few days. As much as I was hurting, it didn't matter. I'm willing to bear all of her pain.
When I finally told her the bad news, she broke down and pushed me away. I expected Blaire to be hurt, but I didn't expect her to not even want to be touched by me. She kept telling me to leave and that hurt. It was like she was angry with me; as if she blamed me for everything. I didn't know how to handle it or what to do. All I knew was that it hurt more than any physical pain I've endured to see her like this, so different.
She wasn't Blaire. I noticed a major change in her. It began the moment she drove off from Maddie's school and didn't answer her phone. We rarely missed each other's calls. Then she was unaccounted for over three hours. I'm not stupid I know something happened, I just didn't know what and she wasn't talking. She continued to act like nothing happened.
The interview with Agent Lewis and Agent Mitchell confirmed that for me. She was lying and Blaire rarely lied. She always felt there wasn't a need for anyone to lie. Then I thought about what my dad said. Somebody that Blaire knew did this, but I couldn't think of who or why. She's not the type of person to make enemies. Everyone loves her and if they didn't they were either just jealous or simply a hater.
I thought about all the people that have done her harm. Then I remembered the guy that killed Malachi, George, sent her an apology letter. He wrote that he truly regretted what he did and wished he could trade places with Malachi. He was locked away and it didn't seem he was getting out anytime soon and so was Henry, her former employer. They were the only two people I could think of off the top of my head. With both of them in jail, I don't think they could have done this.
With no other suspects, I had to look deeper into my wife's past. My dad has resources so he was looking into it. I hoped he found out soon. Honestly, I just wanted justice; whether street or legal, and revenge too. Most importantly, I wanted all of us to just heal from this, especially Blaire. I wasn't used to this side of her. It seemed she did better when she was alone or asleep.
When Blaire fell asleep, I decided to leave. I was exhausted and I missed my bed. She didn't want me there anyway. It was obvious that with the way she reacted to my touch. I was still hurt, but I was trying to be understanding of what she's going through. I figured she might just need some time to herself, so I headed home.
Seeing my kids was the highlight of my day though. I was instantly in a better mood. Aiden and Maddie got in the bed with me. I hugged and kissed them. Maddie seemed to be in a good mood. Aiden, on the other hand, was a little cranky. He's been crying more than usual. He's usually a happy baby. I figured he just missed his mom. He's a momma's boy. All he wants is Blaire all day, every day. I didn't mind because Maddie's a daddy's girl. Maddie was slowly but surely going back to her normal self. The fact that she was talkative again was a good sign. She could talk your ear off.
"Daddy, are you going to stay with us tonight or go back with mommy?" she asked.
"I'm going to stay here for a little while. Then I'm going to check on your mom," I said.
"Yay! I missed you. Can we watch cartoons?"
"Sure," I said as I turned on the television.
"I get to pick. Oooh, Looney Tunes."
"My favorite." I smiled.
She sat up under me as we watched cartoons. Aiden was nodding off a little. I hoped he was going to knock out for the rest of the evening. During the commercial, Maddie grabbed my hand and looked at me.
"Daddy?" she whispered.
"Why did mommy have to stay in the hospital? Is she okay?"
I didn't know what to tell her. I didn't want her to know about the miscarriage. I knew she was just worried about her mom. We all are worried about her. I know something is wrong but she won't admit it or ask for help.
"She's okay. Mommy is just tired and dehydrated. She will be home soon," I said.
"I hope she comes home tomorrow."
She smiled and continued to watch her show. Aiden was out for the night. The next I know the room was quiet, empty, and dark. I must have dozed off without realizing it. My mom or mother-in-law must have got them to let me sleep. I got out of bed and went to take a shower. After I finished, I got dressed and grabbed my phone to call Blaire. I knew she probably wouldn't answer, but I called anyway.
"Hello," she whispered.
"Hey, baby. Are you feeling okay?" I asked.
"I'm okay. I'm just tired and I'm ready to go home."
"I know baby. I can't wait to see you. Do you want me to come up there?" I asked cautiously.
"Yes... I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have pushed you away. I just feel bad about losing our baby."
I noticed her voice was cracking again. It hurt to hear her sound so down and I didn't understand why she kept blaming herself.
"Baby, it's not your fault. Sometimes bad things just happen... Well, I'm on my way. You want me to bring you anything?"
"Just my kids. I miss them."
"It's late, baby. I'll make sure that they will see you when it's time to come home. Okay, Bee?" I suggested.
"You're right. Okay... Jade just came into the room. I'll see you soon."
"Okay. I love you."
"I love you too."
I hung up. I was actually glad Jade was there with her. I didn't want her to be alone and I felt guilty about leaving, but I just couldn't bear seeing her like that. I hoped when I saw her later she'll be in a better mood. Maybe she would tell me what really happened to her.
I put on my hoodie and sneakers and headed downstairs. My mom and mother-in-law were talking in the kitchen. I assumed the kids were in bed already. My mom noticed me first and came over to kiss my cheek.
"You slept good, I see. You look human again," she teased.
"Yeah. I'm good. I'm about to go see Blaire. The doctor said that she can come home tomorrow. I'll be back soon," I said.
"Okay, honey. Just be safe. We got the kids," she said.
I could tell Brandy still felt a certain way about me. She barely looked my way and when she did she rolled her eyes at me. I wasn't going to put up with this and definitely not in my own damn house. I wanted to make peace. So, I walked toward her to talk.
"Brandy, I’m not exactly sure what you think I did, but those rumors and pictures are false... I just want you to know that I love your daughter. She means everything to me. I'll never hurt her and I hope you can believe that," I said firmly.
"I know.” She sighed and unfolded her arms. “And I'm sorry.”
"It's okay. I just want us to be cool."
"We are and that better be the last time you use my first name. You better call me Ma, son.” She smiled. “And please give her a hug for me."
I felt better that we were cool again. I kissed them both on the cheek and headed to the door. I got in my car with Nick. I didn't want him to come but he insisted. He insured me that the house was secured and nothing was going to happen to my family. Officers patrolling our house and a private security team were just outside.
We remained silent during the drive to the hospital. We were let in through a private entrance. I called Andrew to let him know I was on my way up. He took it upon himself to stay at the hospital with Blaire even though the FBI had two agents guarding her room.
When I walked up to her room, I ran into Jade. She hugged me. Her vibe was off. She looked like she was about to cry. That made me worry and wonder if something happened while I was gone.
"Hey. Are you okay? Is she okay?" I asked.
"I'm sorry. She's physically fine... I just can't hold it in anymore. Blaire isn't Blaire. I tried to talk to her, but she barely said two words to me. It's like she's not even here. I know she's been through a lot, but it's hard seeing her like that," she wept.
"I know. All we can do is give her time and be there for her. I'm glad you came to see her. I'll let you know whenever we get home.”
"Okay. If there's anything you need please let me know. I mean it, Avery," she said with a teary smile.
“I will. We’ll be alright.”
She waved goodbye and I eagerly walked toward Blaire's room. When I walked in she was standing up looking out of the window. I didn't think she would be ready to get out of bed. I slowly approached her and place my arms around her shoulders. She jumped then pushed me off of her. She wrapped her arms around herself taking deep slow breaths. It bothered me that she didn't want me to touch her.
"Why can't I touch my own wife? What's wrong with you?" I asked a bit frustrated.
I didn't mean for it to come out like that. She turned around to face me.
"I'm sorry... I don't want to talk about it," she said, looking down at the floor.
"Is this about Anastasia? I swear I never touched her again. I promise I've been faithful to you. I love you. I won't- I would never hurt you.”
"No! I just... Just give me some time to deal with everything," she begged.
“Okay,” I mumbled.
She was on the verge of tears and I decided to back off. I didn't want her to feel any worse. I sat down in the closest chair. She got back in the bed and laid down.
“You don’t have to be here,” she whispered.
She turned away from me and placed the covers over her head. She was putting up that wall again and it made me wonder why I was even here. All I wanted to do was be there for her, but she keeps pushing me away.
I grabbed my phone to keep my mind off of her. I checked my emails and decided to get some work done. Taking off these last few days had me so behind. The office was closed due to plumbing issues wasn't helping either. I had an upcoming tour and I wasn't even sure if I still wanted to go through with it at this point.
I wish I bought my laptop, it would make work easier. I texted Myles, my personal assistant, and asked him to bring my laptop up here. Then I got back to work. I was in a zone until I heard Blaire say something. It was so low I couldn't comprehend it. I looked up and put my phone down.
"Yes, baby," I answered.
"Did you eat?" she asked softly.
"No, but I'm not hungry. Just get some rest okay. It's late," I said, getting back to my phone.
"I'm not trying to hurt you.”
I put my phone down again to look at her. She looked so frail and exhausted. As much as I wanted to have a real conversation I knew it wasn't the right time.
"I know. It's okay. I understand you've been through a lot. Let's just get some rest and when you're ready we'll talk," I said.
"Okay.” She sighed.
On instinct, I stood up to kiss her, but I stopped myself. It was obvious she didn't want me to touch her at all.
"Well, good night. I'm going to get some water. I'll be back," I said.
I walked out of the room. It was perfect timing because Myles was walking toward me with my laptop, and what appeared to be bags of food and clothes. That's why I like Myles, he's always thinking ahead. I thanked him and went back to the room. I was about to offer Blaire some food but she was knocked out so I ate alone. Then I did some more work and got in the spare bed.
I laid there for a while thinking about my relationship. I didn't ever see us being here at all. She wouldn't allow me to be there for her. She wasn't being open and honest with me. We told each other everything. We had no secrets. We were relationship goals in my book.
Our marriage seemed to be perfect until now. I know marriage isn't perfect, but I always thought Blaire and I could get through anything. Then I thought maybe I just needed to take a step back and let her sort out what she's going through. I hoped we could work it out soon and she would go back to being her. I didn't want to know what life without the real her would be like. I tried my best not to overthink it and went to sleep.